Donna felt she had to get off this deck before she lost it again in front of Monroe. She just had to.

She ran along the hall, ignoring the looks from people she passed, the stares at her tear streaked face.

Then she reached the rooms she knew were being used by the others in the trial. That was when her knees gave way outside one door, a door through which she could hear music playing.

She just sat there, crying as the sobs welled up again, too spent still from the earlier bout to stop them.

She didn't even realize one of the nearby doors had opened until she heard NT's voice.

"Oh my goodness, Donna! What happened?" NT threw herself down beside her and held her tightly. "Did that Christine say something to you? She better not have."

Donna sniffled and tried to wipe the tears away, unsuccessfully. "No it--it wasn't her, damn it. If--if it had been I'd h-handle it b-better I think. And no...it wasn't Tompkins, either." she sniffled again. "I just went out for some air, and he was there. Reverend Myles."

"Wha!" NT exclaimed.

"He...he remembered me, from that night. He knew it wasn't my fault what happened...he d-didn't blame me for that. It'd have been easier if he had though--what he did say..." She rubbed at her eyes again.

"Oh brother. I hope he didn't start in on you about hell and damnation and...Oh dear, he ranted on about magic, I'll bet. That's it, isn't it? He just doesn't get it, does he?"

Donna shook her head. "That's what it was. He started praying over me. Talking about how...how Tompkins had wanted me because I had magic--and praying for God to take it out of me....that it was f-from the Devil."

"How dare he! Of all the nerve! You know he's exactly the kind that gives all Christians a bad rap! I ought to go tell him to look at the rod in his own eye before he judges the speck in the next person's!" NT's eyes flashed. "If anybody has anything of the devil around here it's Nathan Tompkins and Christine Benson! Why doesn't he rail at them? It's always Rebekah, or Susan, and now you, he picks on all the time!"

"I d-don't know. I'm sure he hates Tompkins and Benson--I saw the way he looked at Tompkins in the c-cell." Donna replied. "All I know is, when he was p-praying over me, I couldn't think of anything but Rebekah crying when I'd looked into her memories that night. Or later when...when I used the collars on everybody.." she wiped more tears away. "I heard M-Melanie this afternoon. She doesn't know if she has magic and d-doesn't want any...because she didn't want to be like Ch-Christine. I don't either!"

"And you're not and neither is she. It's not the gift that makes the people bad, it's what they do with it. I don't know why they don't understand that." NT continued to hug Donna and dry her tears.

"I c-couldn't talk, I was crying so hard, and he j-just kept praying--then there was s-someone else there. I didn't know who it was at first, but they were really yelling at him...then he was gone and, and that's when..."

"When what?"

"I don't know what she was doing there...or how long she was there...before I knew it...but...it was C-Capri. God she must really think I'm some sort of crybaby now..." Donna sniffled yet again.

"Well you're no more of a 'crybaby' than I am - just ask Miranda about that." NT smirked, "And if Capri can put up with me and her, well... And anyway she might not show her emotions very much or cry, but she doesn't look down on people that do. Why don't you come in here and I'll fix us a drink." NT offered, indicating hers and Ariel's room.

Donna nodded. "All--all right. I c-can't go back to my room like this, I guess. It's going to be h-hard enough talking to Mom as it is."

She followed NT into the room and looked around. "I..." she swallowed, uncertain. "NT...did you, well, I guess you'd have to--unless you left her with some other friends back in Tampa--did you bring Mia with you?"

"Oh, yes! She's in that little room there, in her cage. It's her play time now and she'll play as long as the lights are dim. I'll put on the nightlight in there. It's still dim enough for her, but bright enough for us to see.

NT led Donna into the small room that had a bed and dresser against a wall, and the cage was sitting on top of the dresser.

NT invited Donna to watch Mia play, and stick her hand into the cage.

Donna did, and Mia jumped onto her hand and kissed away.

NT smiled.

Donna found herself smiling back, though the sad look was still in her eyes. "At least she likes me." she said quietly. "And I know you all do, too. I just wish I could be as sure as Father Flanagan was that God does. I c-couldn't tell Reverend Myles this but...remember what I told Father Flanagan about..." she sighed. "about having forgotten how to pray?"

"Yes, but God does love you. You have to believe that. and there isn't really a right way or wrong way to pray, just as long as it's God getting the prayer and not...You know if Tompkins wanted anybody to pray it would be to him and not God."

Donna nodded and sighed. "NT....what would you say if I were to..." she swallowed. "I've read a lot of the Telegraph archives, that's how I found out about Father Flanagan. But there were some other things there too. That special friend of yours, and how a double of him came to see you once."

"Oh, right, that was when Miranda and Tracy were still friends, and both of them worshiped Nathan. Miranda couldn't stand me because...I was in the way." NT looked down a moment. "Because of what Tompkins did to Ariel. And she got Tracy to make a double of me and have her do all kinds of things to try getting me in trouble. She also created the double of my friend and had him act different. Miranda wanted to break us up."

"But one thing that phony said to you, is what I remembered most." Donna said. "NT, can you really...can you really take away magic?"

"Yes, that's how Nathan lost his."

Donna shook her head. "Damn, with everything I'd forgotten that." She looked slightly sheepish. "I remember what a state he was in when Christine brought him back after that concert."

NT nodded. "Well, the concert was a week after that. Shawn and I took it away as soon as we were able to get Shawn out of the hospital. I'd've done it all myself but Shawn was there and he wanted to take it away too. But if you want, I'll go ask Capri if she'll let me take away Christine's or Tracy's for you too."

"I don't give a damn about them!" Donna cried. "It's not them I'm talking about." she took a deep breath. "NT....I don't *ever* want to be like Tompkins or Christine. I want you...to take away mine."

NT's eyes grew very wide, and she flushed. "You can't mean that! I just said magic doesn't make you like them - besides, I c--can't do that to you, Donna, that'd be like taking it away from Ameh, or Ariel, or Capri, not that it's even possible to take it from Capri anyway, but, you're my friend, and I don't cripple my friends, not even when it comes to magic! I took it away from Nathan because he deserved to lose it and he would've just used it to abuse people even more. I took it away from him because he took so much from Ariel. I took it because of what he did to Shawn and his mom, and to Miranda. I took it because he needed to know what it was like to feel helpless for a change. I took it to save Ariel from further torment by him. I took it because he's my worst enemy - somebody I hate but couldn't kill."

Donna nodded. "I know," she said sadly. "I hate him too."

"I can't do that to you, Donna, I just can't. It wouldn't be right, and you might regret it if you needed it some day and didn't have it any more. and I'd be sorry for doing it to you. Not to mention the pile of trouble I'd be in with your mom, or Ariel, and Capri. She'd cream me for sure if she found out I took magic away from an innocent person, and you might get it for getting me to take it from you."

Donna looked at NT and her eyes were bleak. "I know...I know I said I wanted to find out more about this, but after everything I heard today, I'm so afraid if I don't get rid of it I'll end up becoming...something I don't want to be. Nathan was a kid once, you know. So was Christine...and look how they turned out."

"I don't know how you can even compare them with normal kids!" NT retorted. "You heard old Mr. Wesley's testimony today, he said Nathan was the biggest most selfish spoiled brat that ever lived, and that was before he had any magic! He killed his own brother because he wanted to be the only kid and get all the attention. Now I don't know Christine's background but people don't get *that* evil because of magic, they do it because of something wrong in their character. Magic has nothing to do with that, nothing at all! Nathan was never like us, ever! Not even as a kid! Never! My friend has magic and he's as far from Nathan and Christine can be! Capri and Ariel and Ameh and Shawn are all adult and they're not sick in the head but they've got magic! But if you really want somebody to take yours away you'll have to ask your mom if it's OK, and then ask Capri, because I'm not doin it! I won't! I won't!!"

"NT, please!" Donna begged.

"No!"

Just then, the door opened, and Capri appeared. "Hey, hey, hey, settle down, now, What the 'eck's goin on in 'ere?" she demanded.

~Oh, great, just great~. Donna thought. Capri again.

Both girls fell silent except for NT who was so wound up now that she burst into tears. and it all came out.

"Donna's asked me to take her magic away 'cause--she doesn't wanna be like Nathan and Christine! I told her it wasn't magic that made them evil, it was just them! I can't do it, please, don't make me!"

"Alright, alright, NT, slow down." Capri approached NT and calmed her enough to get her to repeat what she'd just said.

Then, Capri looked at Donna. "Tha's a very serious thing yer askin m'girl. An' she's right, some people're just sick. It don't take magic er money ta make someone sick in the 'ead, Donna, tha's somethin wrong with the basic personality, certainly in nate's case. But if ya really want, I could do the job but it wouldn't be permanent. I can take it away permanent like but I wouldn't with you. An' anyway y'd 'ave ta ask yer mom first."

Donna was on the point of bursting into tears again, but for Godsakes not in front of Capri Monroe. Not twice in one night. And she didn't want Capri mad at her either. She'd seen Capri that way just a little and didn't want to imagine what it'd be like if she really blew up. "All right...I...I won't ask again. I just...don't know how to, to not be afraid of it after today...you didn't *feel* what poor Melanie Benson was going through...I did. And then Reverend Myles--I thought--I thought when I saw him he'd be like...Father F-Flanagan was but..." she took a deep breath, still fighting not to cry. "Tell me how not to be afraid of this!" she looked down at her own hands and then back up at the others. "I sat there and listened to all that about Tompkins' brother, and then Ameh talking about C-Christine and...I just wanted to hurt them, to throw m-magic at them until they hurt...I've never *wanted* to h-hurt anybody, but I do them." And the fear of *herself* at that realization, of what that might mean, was clear in her eyes.

"Listen, kid." Capri stepped over to Donna and rested an arm on her shoulder. "Nathan an' Christine are scum. I wanna tear 'em apart. Heck so does NT, an' believe it er not, I've heard Ariel say she's wanted ta hurt Tompkins every time NT's cried 'erself ta sleep at night 'cause o' what Tompkins did. Donna, if ya learn all about jus' 'ow vile nate an' Chrissy are, an' don't wanna blast 'em good, there's somethin wrong with ya. Yer normal, kiddo."

"You know I wanna punch their lights out too." NT added.

"What yer feelin now is hurt an' justifiable rage. That ain't the same as bein cruel, it ain't nowhere near bein like Nate er Chris. If ya were cruel like them, ya'd be OK with the garbage they pulled, but yer not. An' it's OK ta wanna lash out at 'em, it's OK, Donna, it's OK, shhhhhhh." Capri comforted Donna the same way she had before, and despite all efforts not to break down and cry, Donna had to finally give in or explode.