Donna was talking with Ameh, when they saw letters from the Crow to Nathan and Christine, followed by Nathan's and Christine's replies. Ameh typed out her own answer to this, while Donna watched.

Donna smiled as Ameh finished. "That's telling him! I'm not going back to that bitch Christine, I don't care if you paid me a million dollars to do it!" She paused for a moment, then continued. "You tell the Crow I hope he finishes her but good. I could tell him a few things about what went on in that special room of hers, but I don't want to gross out everyone on the Telegraph. Or give myself more nightmares than I've already got."

Ameh added that on to her letter and sent it, then she turned back to Donna. "That makes two of us. I still get nightmares about the things she did to me as a child, and like you, I really don't want to horrify anybody with the details of either the dreams or what she actually did."

Donna sighed. "I know. I still don't get it. I had *no* idea when Judge Chalmers told me I'd have to stay with her and Tompkins, what it was going to be like--back then I was just so glad to have somewhere to go while Mother had to be away." She shook her head. "That sure didn't last long. Tompkins had seemed so nice, those weeks when he was trying to get Mother cleared of that murder rap, I thought staying with him till she got out would be cool. Now I wish I'd never heard of the bastard. Or the Queen Bee, either."

Her eyes flashed angrily for a moment, then she sighed again. "And then there's Mother. Somehow I'm going to have to explain all this to her. She signed those damn papers, you know. She turned me over to them. I keep asking myself why...why?"

Ameh looked up at Donna, trying to reassure her. "You know, somehow I don't think your mother had any real idea of what Tompkins annd Benson were like. If she had, she never would've even considered signing. Tompkins was with the group of people that killed my parents. He held me while it was being done, and then pretended to be all sorry about it later, like saying he didn't know there was a child involved and stuff. But he wasn't really. If he had any care, he would've ordered the thugs not to murder my parents, but he didn't."

"I hope that's true." Donna replied. "I really do. About my mom, I mean. And I'm sorry about your parents. Damn that bastard. That's so like the way he'd hold me when he...touched me. He'd say it was okay to go ahead and cry, that it's just because I wasn't *used* to it yet." Her voice rose angrily on the `used'. She took another deep breath, trying to calm herself, then continued. "Anyway, about my mom...well, I guess she's going to have to know about all this. And they won't let me see her, since I'm not an adult yet. Not unless someone comes along...I hate to ask this, you've done so much already, but...would you mind? She's at the Federal pen in Illinois, the last time I got a letter from her...And I never told her about what Nathan was doing to me. I just couldn't. But now...now I'll have to."

Ameh's eyes flashed. "Dammit knowing Tompkins did that to you just makes me feel like killing things!" she stormed.

Donna nodded. "Believe me I feel the same way. I wish there was some way to--to turn Tompkins into a woman and I don't mean through surgery either. Then let some other sicko rape *her* and Nathan'd learn what it feels like. He kept talking about how I was almost a woman and I had to learn what women did. And how I'd learn to enjoy it eventually. All I felt was dirty inside--I don't understand because I know he did the same things with Christine and Tracy and it didn't bother them, as far as I could tell anyway."

"Well any man that says women are for raping is full of shit!" Ameh ranted. "And the reason Christine doesn't mind is because she's a rapist herself! But then you probably already know that. She's just like Tompkins only the female version. And I'd like to have Tompkins and any other rapist castrated too - it would not only serve them damn right it might stop the urge if you get my drift. Now if there was something we could think of for beaters and people who put their cigarettes out on you, and throw you in the water when you can't swim, or put oven cleaner and other corrosives on you, or bury you alive because you refuse to touch somebody or beat some poor kid or animal, or make you sick so that your head feels like it'll explode, and tie you up for hours and make you watch violent porn and threaten you with what happened in the movie if you don't do what they say! and still manage to hide everything they did when they had company over... I hope Capri is planning to have Christine executed right along with Tompkins. I don't know much about Tracy except she helped set Miranda, then Ariel up to get abused by Tompkins, and Capri says Tracy's just dead gone on him. I think she's got several screws loose. And Christine's just a personification of pure evil, that's all."

Donna sighed. "Well, she must've done different things to you than she did to me. But what she did to me was just as bad, take my word for it. I've felt her pain spells more times than I can keep count of...and as for porn movies, I didn't have to see any, I was living one." She sighed. "Because, if you can believe this, sometimes she'd make me do you know what with her, too. So you're right about her being a rapist. And then there were the boys she'd pick up off the street, the ones so desperate for money they'd put up with anything. Sometimes I had to...do things...with them and she'd watch. Or I had to watch while she did things. I don't know which was worse."

Donna met Ameh's eyes, the bitterness showing in her own. "I told NT, but I don't know if she or Pippi mentioned it to you--but do you remember those damned collars, the ones Nathan had on Jesse and Titania and Mr and Mrs Myles? I was carrying the orb that controlled them the night NT brought me here. That's what you picked up on, then, the magic that came from her. Anyway, Christine had to work on those things for a while, to make sure they'd do what she and Nathan wanted them to, and for *that* they needed someone to test them out on. It shouldn't be hard to guess who got that job." She sighed again. "You can castrate a man who's a rapist, but what can you do to a woman? what a man loses in being castrated, a woman doesn't have to begin with. But there's got to be *some* way to make her pay along with Nathan for all this. There just has to--I know Capri wants them executed, but killing them, as much as they deserve it, seems too easy. I mean, one fatal blow and that's it. They won't suffer and damn it I want them to."

"So do I!" Ameh retorted. "I know Christine did things with guys too and made me watch and...other stuff...She touched me in all the wrong ways too. I don't know - maybe cutting off her hands? Well, they do that or used to do that in Iran to people who stole, and we both know Christine stole a lot out of our lives. I know all about her pain spells too, believe me. That and a lot of other things. But I don't suppose her death has to be easy. I don't know what Lizzie and Sophie have in mind but it can't be too fun getting mauled to death by a werewolf if that's what she is. And I want to be there to see for myself when it happens, so I won't have to worry any more that Christine'll ever come for me again. She used me for experiments all the time, drugs, spells, you name it. That's probably the main reason I never got into drugs in my teens, because tempting as it was sometimes, I knew what they did to me and didn't want to go through that again." Then she took a deep breath and continued in a softer voice. "But I don't think you need to tell your mom about it, not yet anyway, not unless you're together and she specifically asks. But I'm going to talk to Pippi about going to pay her a visit, just to see if we can find anything out, and to reassure her you're safe now and that you're thinking about her."

Donna nodded again. "You're right, Mom's going to have a hard enough time finding out about the other things Tompkins did, never mind this. *sigh* Though I don't know what she could tell you that I haven't already, you know all about the murder charge and the embezzlement she's in for, and how Tompkins got her off the murder rap..." she shook her head. "But thanks for coming with me on this, and give Pippi a hug, too, okay? We just have to call the prison a day ahead of time to let them know we're coming, that's the rules."

Ameh nodded. "Well, Pippi's already contacted the jail. so she says we'll visit tomorrow. and she says she's not necessarily looking for just more info on that murder case, but other possible connections - the Tompkins family and your family. We're just gonna make sure he doesn't hae any other nasty surprises in store for anybody, and bring what we can to his trial."

Donna nodded. "I just don't know how I'm going to face Mom after all this. I keep coming back to she handed me over to them."

"Well, I wouldn't blame your mom if I was you." Ameh replied, firmly. "Like, she like didn't know, OK? My parents aren't at fault either, because they died. They didn't have any choice, and it's stupid to blame them and it's stupid to blame your mom because she would never, *ever* have let you go to a couple of rapists by choice. So when you see her you're just gonna have to tell her you're alright and it wasn't her fault, it was Nathan's. He's a terrorist but he knows how to play the charmer to unsuspecting people so he can get his way. Just remember at all times...She...Didn't...Know... It's damn time everybody stopped blaiming either themselves or other people for Nate and Christine's actions, and put the blame where it really belongs, on Christine and Nathan only!"

"I...I'm trying to." Donna replied. But before Ameh could say more, Ariel walked in, and Donna remembered there'd been something she'd wanted to ask. "Ariel, how's Mrs Myles doing?" She sighed. "You know I'm the reason Tompkins found out she used to be his wife. I'm the reason he went after Benjamin Myles and Susan too. He wouldn't have known about them if it hadn't been for me. Because that's what I do...I can find out things about people. I look at them and it's like I can see inside them, I know what they know. NT says she had something like that right when you first had her, but it sort of faded out right after. Anyway, I've tried to stay away from Rebekah so she doesn't have to be reminded of that. The few times she's seen me she just looks at me and cries and..." Suddenly Donna couldn't meet Ariel's eyes any more. "God I wish I could just disappear."

Ariel put an arm around Donna. "Now, you simply have to let go of this self-blame. Because it's not your fault, ok? (sigh) There are so many, so many people who get used by Tompkins and end up blaming themselves and that is just so unfair and wrong! Nathan did what he did because of Nathan, not you. It doesn't matter that you were the one who got to see inside Rebekah, you didn't have a choice. Given the choice, you wouldn't have, that's obvious. But you just happened to be conveniently on hand for him to use in that way, and he did. So, if you want to blame someone, blame Nathan."

Donna bit her lip, but didn't know what to say. She could only look with tear filled eyes as Ariel continued. "Rebekah has a lot of coming around to do, you just have to give her and yourself time. I don't have some magic potion that will make either of you heal over night, and you must remember she had a lot of help getting to where she is today, and don't you dare start going on about how you were also to blame for that. You weren't."

Ariel gave Donna's hand a reassuring squeeze and went on. " It's been mostly Nathan Tompkins, and however good intentioned, Benjamin Myles. He means well, but he's going about it all the wrong way and it's hurt more than helped. And yes, NT did have the capability of looking into me while I was carrying her, and just before she was born, but I think that was a pre-natal connection, and I had no idea when we were first re-united that she knew so much about me. Now as it is, she seems to be able to read me like a book, and that's almost frightening. It certainly would be frightening if it was anybody else."

* * * *

A short while later, back in her room, Donna wrote a letter to Jesse and Titania.

Jesse, Titania,

I...I probably shouldn't even be writing this. I'm sure I'm the last person next to Tompkins you want to hear from. But I just had to... damn it.

I'm sorry I had to help him the other night. I know that probably doesn't count for much.

I just wanted you to know that...I wish I hadn't helped him. But I couldn't say no. Not the way he had things set up...

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

She sent that letter off and tried to relax with a book, but couldn't concentrate all that well. About an hour later, she noticed the computer was flashing that a new message had arrived. She got up to check and saw that it was from Titania.

Dear Donna,

It's OK, really. It was you and NT who got us out of there after all, and I know what you mean about being made to do things against your will. Tompkins gets some sort of sick kick out of that. So, I don't blame you and neither does Jesse, k?

By the way, see you at the trial if you'll be going.

Tani

While Donna was reading this, another message arrived, this one was from Jesse.

Donna,

Don't worry about it, ok? It was just a bad situation thanks to Tompkins, but we're doing alright now, and I know now that you didn't want to follow his orders. But you see, when you kept goading us back there with "You'll never get out" etc. it looked like gloating and I'd had it up to hear with that from Tompkins already without you adding to it.

Jesse

Donna wrote back to Jesse.

Jesse,

(is it ok if I call you that? Mr Lein is what *he* kept calling you and it sounds so formal anyway)

I'm sorry I had to say that. But I tried to get away from him myself. Several times. And you don't want to know what he did to me then...I didn't want to see him doing *that* to you or the others. what he wanted to do was bad enough as it was. I was scared to death he'd decide to take you or your girlfriend into Christine's special room...which he'd have done if he caught you trying to escape.

I'm just glad we all got out of there before he did any of that stuff.

Are you going to be at the trial?

Donna

Donna sent her letter off. A few minutes later, another reply appeared.

Dear Donna,

Yes, call me Jesse. Tompkins was just trying to put on airs with that "Mr." and "Miss" stuff. How I hate people who try to whitewash themselves in formality when underneath they are nothing but slime.

This Christine sounds like a real piece of work from what you say.

I will be at the trial, and so will Tani. We want to see Tompkins fry.

Jesse Lein