The next morning, after breakfast, Donna went by NT's room. NT saw the look on Donna's face and invited her in to talk if she wanted to.

Donna nodded, and sitting down, sighed. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do now. Ariel says it's okay if I stay here, in fact she insisted on it."

"I know," NT replied, "it's got to feel strange, but you'll get used to being here after a while."

Donna sighed again. "But that little blonde downstairs looks daggers at me every time I walk by."

"Ameh is a tough nut to crack and she just seems to keep regenerating a new and tougher shell every time something bad happens to her or anybody she's allowed herself to get a little close to. Pippi knows best how to talk to her, and once Ameh is ready to listen and understands that you really aren't an agent for Christine, that you were victimized like she was, she should understand and not glare daggers at you any more. and if it's any comfort to you, you're not the only one she's looked at that way. She is nice when she wants to be though, even if she doesn't want to admit it."

"Believe me I'd be the last person to be any kind of help to that bitch. She was even worse than Nathan. You heard him talk about punishing me? That's what he'd do, when he was really angry with me about something or other--he wouldn't touch me himself, he'd just turn me over to her. I won't go into what happened then, I still have nightmares about it."

NT started shaking and crying at this. "Oh...my...gosh! Oh my gosh oh my gosh!"

Donna, not knowing what else to do, hugged NT. "I'm sorry..." she whispered. Damn it she hadn't meant to upset her.

NT tried to compose herself well enough to talk, but wasn't too successful. "What was I going to say? Ummmm...uh..." NT stammered. "If I'd known...I'd have got you out of there!!" she sobbed, while Donna continued to hold her. "Why? Why, why, why!?"

After a few more minutes, NT had subsided considerably, and Donna remembered what else she had meant to say before NT had gotten so upset.

Donna took a deep breath. "Anyway, that other lady--Capri? is that her name? scares me. So tall and dark."

NT nodded. "I know what you mean about Capri, she can be very frightening when she's upset. She doesn't cry, or at least I haven't seen her do it, but she is surprisingly good at comforting you when you do. She doesn't beat around the bush and seems tough and firm, but her heart is in the right place, really. Better to have her as a friend than an enemy, and I'm sure she won't be your enemy."

Donna shook her head. "If you say so--but what about Mrs Myles and her little girl. I don't know what to say to them, especially Mrs Myles. She just looks at me and cries--and I know it's she's remembering I helped Tompkins hurt her."

She sighed again and looked down at the floor. "But what the hell else could I have done? He would've punished me again and I...I couldn't face that. Not again. Call me a coward if you like, that's what I feel like anyway. Damn it I wish I didn't have magic. That's why he wanted me, I know that. Is that all it's good for, to make you a thing for people like him to use?" she cried. "You know he..he didn't want me to think of the other stuff as punishments. The times he would...come to my room, if you get my drift. He wanted me to like that stuff the way Christine and Tracy did. It just made me feel dirty though...I don't understand why they didn't mind his games."

NT bit her lip, feeling tears trying to come out. She tried to hold them back, knowing Donna needed to talk.

Donna took another deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady. "I'm just glad to be away from him, finally. Though it does feel strange being here--even where I used to live, with my mother, wasn't as nice a place as this. Heck, Tompkins' house would've been nice, if he and Christine hadn't been there themselves. Not to mention Tracy, but she never did things with me the way they did. And I didn't see that much of her, anyway--she had to stay at Shawn Catlin's most of the time, and Nathan never wanted me there--I was too young to pass as a groupie, he said, it'd look bad for Shawn. I mean, I know it wasn't really Shawn, but nobody else was supposed to."

"Magic is not just for getting exploited by people like Tompkins." NT replied. "If it was, it would be worthless. It was magic that got us out of there after all now, wasn't it? Even if it was magic that created the situation, we still got out. I have to be careful of my own magic though, sometimes it gets out of control, but only when I get really upset. It's not on purpose, I don't even know I've done anything until it happens or somebody points it out or I see it for myself."

Donna nodded. "About magic...you're right, it did get us into this mess, but it did also get us out. I guess that counts for something. I'm just bummed out from all this time at his beck and call, I suppose."

She looked despairingly at NT. "But there's got to be some way to use what I do that won't lead to people getting hurt. I mean like with Mrs Myles. Nathan took her just because she was a friend of Ariel's. We didn't know who she used to be...not until she woke up from the drug he used on her and went totally nutso. A lot more than that other girl did, or her boyfriend, or the minister. And Tompkins wanted to know why. So I had to find out."

Donna took another deep breath. "If I...look at a person, in a certain way, it's like I can see right inside them and know what they know. That's how he found out she used to be his wife a long time ago." She looked away, unable to meet NT's eyes. "I...I had to tell him, NT. I just had to." she murmured, bitterly. " I know, you probably hate me now. It can't be worse than I feel about myself."

"I don't hate you, I don't!" NT cried. She took a few minutes to compose herself, then went on. "And I think I understand the other magic you were forced to use when that devil made you find out about Mrs. Myles. I had that capability very briefly and lost it again as soon as I was born. Ariel let me see inside her and she helped me sort of grow up enough to walk and talk and all that as I was being born. But I found out there was something really sad about her too, although I didn't quite manage to figure out what it was because it must've gone into my subconscious and the memories came out later. But I lost that when I came out and she faded away. And there's another girl on the telegraph, Rhiannon, she's really nice, and she has something similar. I don't know if her gift extends to reading people's pasts, but she's said things about feeling other people's emotions and hearing their thoughts, something like that."

"And Ariel named me after a song with the initials NT, the one she turned me into to bring me out instead of going through the physical labor. She said it was me and that I should never grow up to be cruel like, well, she didn't mention his name, she just called him the "master".

Trying to change the subject, NT put a hand on Donna's, reassuring her. "But you can share the basement with me, and I'll put my possum in one of the rooms going off the main section so she doesn't keep you awake at night. I'll let you touch her during the day and you can watch her playing at night as much as you want."

Donna nodded. "About Mia, is that her name? that's a pretty name. What does NT stand for, by the way? I've never had any pets, not even a dog or a cat. Do you think your possum would mind my touching her? She doesn't bite strangers, does she?"

"My Mia loves getting touched," NT replied, "by anybody who's nice, and you are. You just have to make sure your hands aren't too cold. And if anything, she'll lick you. I like the name Mia too, thought it suited her because she's got such a long, fluffy tail and a cute face, and she was the nicest one at the shop. She just looked like a Mia, somehow." NT made herself smile. "I love your name too, you know. It sounds merry, and I hope you can be after living here a while."

"Thank you for saying that. Though I don't feel very nice right now." Donna sighed. "I'd grit my teeth when things got really bad and tell myself it was for Mother's sake. But if she knew what I had to do for her she'd probably have a fit. And then I think back to why she's where she is and...damn it I get angry at her for messing things up for both of us and getting me to where I had to whore myself to Tompkins to save her from being punished for something she didn't do. Then I feel bad because I shouldn't be angry at her, she's still my mother. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. It's all mixed up."

Donna took a deep breath. "I'd love to play with Mia, whenever you say it's okay. Like I said I never had any pets before, so I'm not sure how to act around them...I'll make sure my hands aren't cold, though." She forced a smile, but it didn't last, and she sighed again. "I'm sorry, I'm trying not to think too much about the bad times but they won't stay out of my head. Sometimes I wished I could...go places, like you do, by myself. But I can't...even when I'm trying to find someone or something--that's the other thing I can do. I think real hard about a person or an object and I can sort of see where it is." She bit her lip. "I just can't *get* there. Nathan always had to take me, until he lost his magic that is, then he had Christine do it. He was talking about finding someone else with magic to help with that, after you locked Christine away, but he never got the chance. Thank goodness for that."

"Well, I'll get Mia and then I'll come and let you pet her. She's really soft and snuggly, and, I just want to ease your pain somehow. I hate Tompkins and Benson!!!!!!!!!!!!" NT hissed, then took a few minutes to calm herself before continuing. "Good thing Capri locked Nathan and I locked Christine away, because as Capri says, it would just never stop otherwise. Nathan has already forced another mage to do something for him, and that was when Miranda's mind got mixed up. But we got her to fix it again and Miranda ran away because...uh, I forget what the reason was exactly, but she was boiling mad at Nathan for getting to her again."

She met Donna's eyes. "That's a bummer that you can search but can't transport. We'll have to see if we can help you with that. I know Capri has transport devices she gives out to people she really trusts, Pippi has one. Or maybe you just need to learn how? But then again...Transporting for me's as easy as searching although it does require a little more effort. I'll try to help you if you want."

"Thanks." Donna replied. "I'll wait in my room," she smiled, and left, while NT went to the basement to get Mia.

* * * * *

A few minutes later, NT came into Donna's room, carrying Mia. "Here she is," NT said, smiling.

Mia chittered, squeaked, then, as NT held her out to Donna, sniffed at the new person's outstretched hands.

"Will she...let me hold her?" Donna asked, still nervous.

"Of course she will, like I said, just as long as your hands aren't too cold she'll be all right."

Donna glanced down at her hands, then rubbed them briskly together a couple times. "That should do it."

NT placed Mia in Donna's hands and the possum sniffed a little more, then began licking eagerly.

NT smiled, "See? that means she likes you."

Donna relaxed somewhat at this, but her eyes were still sad. "I think it's just I'm still too young. That's what he said anyway. But when things were really bad I'd wish I could go somewhere else. Somewhere quiet and peaceful, like maybe a park or something. There was one near where I used to live, and one spot in particular I liked, when I just wanted to be by myself for a while. You ever feel like that?"

"I haven't wanted to go to a park since I got kidnapped from one, but during that awful time I wanted to be somewhere warm and safe...Like in Ariel's or Connor's arms...with them singing or talking softly to me...And where I could hold my Mia. The cruel part of that whole wretched time was the evil people drugged me so bad I couldn't even see straight let alone magic my way out of there. and sometimes I thought I was back home, but then the screaming started again...Maggie's screaming...And I was still on the cold, hard, floor, with nothing to eat and it was always so blasted cold in those cells. It was terrible and I couldn't get out! Sometimes I still have bad dreams about it."

"Damn it! I wish I'd been there--I'd've helped get you out." Donna replied, eyes flashing. Then she tried to calm herself. Sighing, Donna shook her head. "But anytime I try to get myself there, or any place else...I get these really bad headaches. Like you wouldn't believe. So I haven't tried in a while..." she paused and thought for a moment, then took a deep breath. "Maybe I can get it to work now, and you can watch and see if I'm doing something wrong, or it's just not there."

Donna closed her eyes, focusing on the image of the place she wanted. She reached for it, tried to *push* herself there.

Pain!

It was like an explosion inside her head, she cried out and sank to her knees. This cost her her hold on Mia and it was only NT's quick grab that saved the possum from a fall.

Mia squealed in terror, but calmed down after a few minutes of NT talking softly to her and caressing her.

NT had been about to tell Donna not to try it if it hurt her, but she didn't get the chance. Suddenly the girl was mewling on the floor, and NT had to get Mia calmed down and back in the carrying pouch.

After she did that, she put the pouch strap around her neck again.

Meantime, Donna knelt, clutching her head and moaning, the tears coming from her eyes. "Damn it...it's always....like this...why'd I even...try..." she sobbed through the spasms that stabbed like knives through her.

Then, NT bent down and tried to help Donna up. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to..."That was when she detected it. "Blast those two!" she raged, and tried to take away the pain caused by the magic that was hurting Donna. Because it was a magic problem and not a medical one, NT was able to take it away, and she sat, holding Donna and putting a hand to her forehead to try and relieve it some more.

Donna spluttered, moaned and gasped a while, but became calmer as the pain finally subsided.

"Are you OK now?" NT asked.

"Y-yes, well, not really." Donna looked ghostly pale now, and NT helped her climb into bed.

"Don't try it again, not yet." NT warned. "It's not that you didn't have the potential or that you were too young. Besides the "too young" part is crap. They did that to you! They put a spell on you so that if you tried transporting anywhere you'd get this." NT's eyes flashed. "Whatever next?"

Donna lay back against the pillows and rubbed at her head. "It's...better, now," she said weakly. "But this's what always happens. And I don't understand--he was always saying how good I was at finding things, why would he do something that'd work against the very thing he wanted me for?"

"Because he wanted to control you and make you use your magic to his advantage, without being able to get away from him. If he cut off your ability to get out of there, you couldn't escape, and he didn't have to worry about you going and getting him in trouble with the law or something. He used to do that with Ariel too, whenever he wanted her to do something for him, he'd give her whatever extent of magic control he decided she should have, but no more. And he watched her every move so she couldn't try anything. If she did, he'd put her through agony. It's all about slave driving and power tripping with the likes of those awful rotters." NT growled.

"Damn him!" Donna sighed, then after a moment or two she laughed ironically. "You know what's funny? This...well, this is why I couldn't get to Susan Myles last night. Though I knew where she was. And he couldn't go after her the ordinary way like he had the others because he had to watch them. So the very thing he used to keep me in line is what kept her from being grabbed. I wonder if he realized that." She chuckled, weakly.

"Well, I'm not so sure about that. He could've sent Jesse out to nab Susan the way he sent him out to give Pippi that message. He just hadn't gotten around to it because you and I got to her first. That's why I was in such a hurry once we got out of there, just in case he might remember Susan and make you use that thing to get her or send Jesse out again."

"The only reason I could send Jesse was he had the collar on then, that was the way it worked," Donna replied. "But you're right about Susan. I didn't *want* to find her, there's no telling what he'd've done to her. I tried so hard to keep him thinking about the others so he wouldn't ask me about her again. And I didn't know how much longer I could stall him." She sighed. "And now this--Nathan hasn't had any magic for weeks, and Christine's locked up--but they've *still* got their hooks into me. I didn't *know* the bitch still had any spells on me! So how do we know there's not something else even worse?" She went even paler than she already was. "God...I could be...NT, I could be the--the magic equivalent of a walking time bomb and not even know it!" She couldn't stop the tears from flowing again.

"I...I don't know if I should try fixing it!" NT wailed, helplessly. "It might set off some other curse that's in place. That'd be just like Christine!" she hissed.