Black = stupid nigerian scammer

Red = Donkki Punch (me)

green = comments and me trying to be funny

_____________________________________________________________________

FROM.MR. JOHN (funny ... his the name on his email is Tonni Koffi)
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.
FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT.
BANQUE TOGOLAISE POUR LE COMMERCE ET L'INDUSTRIE,
LOME- TOGO.

Dear Sir,

I am JOHN(hello JOHN),a worker in charge of
auditing and accounting section of Banque Togolaise
Pour Le Commerce Et L'Industrie Lome-Togo in West
Africa with due respect and regard. After viewing your
impressive profile couple with your age I have decided
to contact you on a business transaction that will be
very beneficial to both of us at the end of the
transaction.We had a foreign client Mr John Schelpert
who deposited a huge sum of money (US$45.5million)
with our bank.Eventually, this client was among the
victims of EGYPT AIR BOEING 767 FLIGHT NO.990 that
crashed on the 31-10-1999 in U.S.A but, since then we
have not had any body coming for the claims as the
next of kin. A sitaution I have monitored closely with
my position in the bank.

Now, having monitored this deposit and managed it over

the years before his death, and hence nobody has
showed up as the next of kin for the past three years
plus, I have removed the file to my private volt.
I now solicit for your assistance to present you as
the next of kin as every other arrangement has being
concluded by me and I am only waiting for a foreigner
to enable me move the fund to his account.
This does not have any risk attached to it as all the
internal documentations will be handled by me. I
therefore request you to confirm your interest by a
return message and I will furnish you with details.
Your interest will be negotiable before we commence
the operation. Please I will want you to reply this
mail as to enable me give you more details.

I look forward to hearing from you.
Regards

Your partner to be(parnter to be...awwww)
JOHN

Dear John,

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU COULD BE A NIGERIAN SCAMMER?

1. YOU WRITE IN ALL CAPS.

2. You refuse to use spell check and think that Courier is the only
font in the world.

3. You hate Americans.

4. You confuse American last names with first name. Ex. Smith Adam
or Williams Brian

5. When someone asks you for a picture, you look for the nearest
magazine.

6. You work at a bank.

7. You always put DR. in front of your name, no matter what the
situation. Even if you are not a doctor.

8. You become extremely angry when you catch someone lying, even
though everthing about you and what you are doing is a lie.

9. You have trouble keeping your lies straight.

10. You probably weren't the brightest person in world. You most
likely rode the small yellow bus to school while your peers were on the
bigger bus. Your class room wasn't attached to your school, but was
actually a mobile unit that was 100 yards away.

11. You are a Prince or a King.

12. Your father or husband was a Nigerian General.

13. The new President of Nigeria is seeking vengence on your family
because your father or husband confirmed a life prison sentence on him when
he was in charge.

14. People around you tend to get assassinated, poisoned, or killed
in a plane crash.

15. You write in the most contrived, archaic, and atrocious English.

16. You use inappropriate CLICHES (e.g. "gave up the ghost" for a
supposedly sad event).

17. You try to capitalize off human misery (e.g. mutilations in
Sierra Leone, the September 11

18. You have $25-$100 million dollars just laying aroundatrocity,
etc).

19. You address everyone as "friend."

20. Everything is "confidential."

21. You are a prestigious International Banker and you have a Yahoo or
Hotmail email address. Even if you are trying to be secretive, the best you
can come up with is a yahoo email address because you aren't smart enough to
log into register.com and register a fake domain name.

22. You are an ex-general who got converted to Christianity and now
wants to make amends to God by sending a stranger the $ 25 million you stole
from your country.

23. You are the wife of the deceased state employee whose husband
stole all this $11, 000,000. but got converted to Christianity before his
death and wants you to "invest it all in Christian work in the US to make
amends for his sins against God."

FIND A REAL JOB YOU SCAMMING NIGGER !!!!!!!!! THE ONLY REASON YOU HAVE
MY EMAIL IS BECAUSE I BAITED YOU. THERE ARE MANY LIKE ME HERE IN THE US. I
HAVE SENT YOR EMAIL ADDRESS AND IP INFO TO YAHOO, FBI AND THE CIA. YOUR
LUCKY I AM BUSY OR I WOULD OF SCAMMED YOU. I USUALLY MAKE YOU SEND YOUR FAKE
DOCS, MAKE EXPENSIVE PHONE CALLS AND DRIVE ALL OVER AFRICA TO PICK ME OR
MONEY UP THAT IS NOT THERE. ALL AMERICANS ARE NOT STUPIDCHECK OUT MY HANDY
WORK AT http://www.geocities.com/donkki_punch.com

THE LAST GUY WHO TRIED TO SCAM ME LOOKS LIKE A FAG AT THE BOTTOM
OF THE PAGE
I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU ....... MUGU. BY
THE WAY 'JOHN'
IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WE PUT MR."PLACE LAST NAME HERE"....BUT
I GUESS YOU CAN BE
MR. JOHN MUGU.

SINCERELY ,
DONKKI PUNCH

(whew...that was a bad day)

WHATS THE MATTER......BOO-HOOING BECAUSE YOU GOT DONKEY PUNCHED. YOU SCAMMERS WILL FIGURE IT OUT ONE DAY....WE ARE NOT STUPID AND A LOT OF US HAVE EXTRA TIME ON OUT HANDS. YOU SEE I AM RICH. I RETIRED AT 31 WITH OVER 4 MILLION DOLLARS IN MY ACCOUNT..........YOU COULD BUY A LOT A LOIN CLOTHES WITH THAT, HUH. OR DO YOUR LADIES STILL WALK AROUND WITH YOUR SAGGY BOOBS THAT LOOK LIKE SOFTBALLS IN TUBE SOCKS HANGING OUT.
NEVER THE LESS...I WOULD LOVE TO GET A RESPONSE FROM YOU. I LIKE SCAMMERS AND ENJOY CONVERSING WITH THEM.
REGARDS,
DONKKI PUNCH