Black = stupid nigerian scammer
Red = Donkki Punch (me)
green = comments and me trying to be funny
________________________________________________________________
WE ARE MEMBERS OF A SPECIAL COMMITTEE FOR BUDGET AND
PLANNING OF THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF WORKS AND
HOUSING(FMWH). THIS COMMITTEE IS PRINCIPALLY CONCERNED
WITH CONTRACT AWARDS AND APPROVAL. WITH OUR POSITIONS,(obviously
not concerned with spelling or basic grammar)
WE HAVE SUCCESSFULLY SECURED FOR OURSELVES THE SUM OF
THIRTY ONE MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED
STATES DOLLARS (US$31.5M). THIS AMOUNT WAS CAREFULLY
MANIPULATED BY OVER-INVOICING OF AN OLD CONTRACT.
BASED ON INFORMATION GATHERED ABOUT YOU(from a fishing
guestbook that only included my email and the quote " I like smelling fish),
WE BELIEVE
YOU WOULD BE IN A POSITION TO HELP US IN TRANSFERING
THIS FUND (US$31.5M) INTO A SAFE ACCOUNT. IT HAS BEEN
AGREED THAT THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT WILL BE
COMPENSATED WITH 20% OF THE REMITTED FUNDS, WHILE WE
KEEP 70% AS THE INITIATORS AND 10% WILL BE SET ASIDE
TO OFFSET EXPENSES AND PAY THE NECESSARY TAXES.WE
INTEND TO USE PART OF OUR OWN SHARE TO IMPORT FROM
YOUR COUNTRY AGRICULTURAL AND CONSTRUCTION MACHINERY.
THIS IS BECAUSE THE PRESENT GOVERNMENT OF MY COUNTRY
IS EMPHASISING ON PROVIDING FOOD AND HOUSING FOR ALL
ITS CITIZENS BEFORE THE NEXT ELECTION. HENCE,
AGRICULTURAL AND CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT ARE IN HIGH
DEMAND OVER HERE. WE SHALL ALSO NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE
IN THIS REGARD ON A COMMISSION TO BE AGREED UPON WHEN
WE FINALLY MEET.
ALL MODALITIES OF THIS TRANSACTION HAVE BEEN CAREFULLY
WORKED OUT AND ONCE STARTED WILL NOT TAKE MORE THAN
SEVEN (7) WORKING DAYS, WITH YOUR FULL SUPPORT. THIS
TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE.
IF THIS PROPOSAL SATISFIES YOU, PLEASE REACH US ONLY
BY EMAIL FOR MORE INFORMATION.
AWAITING YOUR URGENT REPLY.
ROLAND WARRI.
not too shabby there roland
Roland,
This sounds too good to be true. Is there any hitches?
Donkki Punch
DEAR FRIEND,
I HAVE RECEIVED YOUR MAIL AND THE CONTENT IS WELL
NOTED. HOWEVER, I WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT THIS
TRANSACTION IS REAL AND EVERY MODALITY TO ENSURE ITS
BEING HITCH FREE, RISK FREE AND SUCCESSFUL HAS BEEN
CAREFULLY MAPPED OUT.
MY PARTNERS AND I ARE STAFF OF
THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF WORKS AND HOUSING IN NIGERIA
. AS MENTIONED IN MY MAIDEN EMAIL, WE ARE MEMBERS OF A SPECIAL COMMITTEE
CALLED THE BUDGET AND PLANNING COMMITTEE, WHICH WAS
SET UP BY THE PRESENT NIGERIAN CIVILIAN ADMINISTRATION
TO VERIFY, VET(good....dog has a bad rash), APPROVE
AND RECOMMEND FOR PAYMENT, ALL
VALID CONTRACTS EXECUTED FOR OUR CORPORATION DURING
THE PAST MILITARY REGIME IN MY COUNTRY. IT IS IN THE
COURSE OF OUR ASSIGNMENT THAT WE WERE ABLE TO DISCOVER
THIS AMOUNT OF MONEY(US$31.5M), WHICH CAME AS A RESULT
OF GROSS OVER-INVOICING OF CONTRACTS BY THE OFFICIALS
IN THE PAST ADMINISTRATION. WE NOW WANT TO USE OUR
POSITION TO TRANSFER THIS SUM INTO A RELIABLE ACCOUNT
OVERSEAS FOR ONWARD DISBURSEMENT AMONGST US. IT IS AN
OFFENCE IN MY COUNTRY FOR PUBLIC OFFICIALS TO CLAIM TO
HAVE EXECUTED ANY CONTRACTS FOR THE GOVERNMENT OR OWN
FOREIGN ACCOUNTS. THEREFORE, WE ARE SOLICITING YOUR
ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER THIS MONEY INTO AN
ACCOUNT WHICH YOU HAVE ABSOLUTE CONTROL OVER. THIS IS
VERY IMPORTANT.
NEVERTHELESS, WE INTEND TO USE PART OF OUR SHARE OF
THE MONEY TO BUY AND IMPORT FROM YOUR COUNTRY,
AGRICULTURAL AND CONSTRUCTION MACHINERY UNDER YOUR
DIRECT SUPERVISION. THIS IS BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT OF
MY COUNTRY IS EMPHASISING ON PROVIDING FOOD AND
HOUSING FOR ALL ITS CITIZENS BEFORE THE EXPIRATION OF
ITS TENURE. IN FACT, WE SHALL DISCUSS THIS IN DETAILS
WHEN YOU HAVE FINALLY AGREED TO WORK WITH US AND WHEN
WE COME OVER FOR THE FINAL DISBURSEMENT OF THE FUNDS
IN THE RATIO ALREADY SPELT OUT IN MY MAIDEN EMAIL TO
YOU.
MOREOVER, WE SHALL NEED THE FOLLOWING FROM YOU TO
ENABLE US BEGIN THE TRANSACTION FORMALLY. THEY ARE;
YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS OR YOUR COMPANY NAME,
ADDRESS AND TELEPHONE/FAX NUMBERS, YOUR BANKERS NAME
AND ADDRESS, YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBER AND NAME.INFACT,I WILL WANT YOU TO
PROVIDE AN ACCOUNT WITH KNOW MONEY IN IT SO THAT OUR MONEY WILL
NOT BE MIXED UP WITH YOURS. THIS
INFORMATION WILL BE USED ALONGSIDE OTHER VITAL
DOCUMENTS OVER HERE IN PREPARING THE NECESSARY
APPLICATION FOR PAYMENT TO THE CONCERNED QUARTERS
WHERE PAYMENT APPROVALS WOULD BE SECURED IN FAVOUR OF
YOUR COMPANY FOR THE PAYMENT OF OUR FUND(US$31.5M)
INTO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT FOR US ALL. BY OUR
APPLICATION, IT WILL BE ASSUMED THAT THIS SUM IS BEING
REQUESTED AS PAYMENT, WHICH IS LONG-OUTSTANDING, FOR A
CONTRACT, WE SHALL CLAIM WITH OUR POSITION, YOU OR
YOUR COMPANY EXECUTED FOR (FMWH) SOMETIME IN 1997.
HENCE, WE SHALL FOLLOW ALL THE LEGAL OFFICIAL
PROTOCOLS USUALLY OBSERVED BY FOREIGN CONTRACTORS
WHENEVER THEY ARE DEMANDING PAYMENT FOR CONTRACTS
EXECUTED FOR THE GOVERNMENT OF MY COUNTRY.
FURTHERMORE, IMMEDIATELY THE FINAL APPROVAL IS
GRANTED, THE FUND WILL BE TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR
ACCOUNT WITHIN 72HOURS, BY WHICH TIME MY PARTNERS AND
I WILL BE IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR THE FINAL DISBURSEMENT
IN THE RATIO ALREADY SPELT OUT IN MY MAIDEN EMAIL TO
YOU. PLEASE. YOU SHOULD ENDEAVOUR TO GIVE US AN
ACCOUNT WHICH YOU HAVE ABSOLUTE CONTROL OVER. THIS IS
VERY IMPORTANT BECAUSE WE WOULD NOT WANT A SITUATION
WHEN THE MONEY IS IN THE ACCOUNT, YOU NOW TELL US YOU
WOULD NEED TO BE AUTHORISED BY ANOTHER PERSON BEFORE
WE CAN HAVE OUR OWN SHARE.
FINALLY, IT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THIS
TRANSACTION THAT ALL DETAILS SHOULD BE KEPT ENTIRELY
SECRET AND CONFIDENTIAL(hmmmmmm). THIS IS VERY
IMPORTANT
BECAUSE, WE AS PUBLIC OFFICIALS WOULD NOT LIKE THE
REPUTATION WHICH WE HAVE BUILT OVER THE YEARS TO BE
DESTROYED BY A LITTLE MISTAKE FROM YOUR SIDE. WE
ASSURE YOU OF A HITCH FREE AND RISK FREE TRANSACTION
BECAUSE EVERY DETAIL TO ENSURE ITS SUCCESS HAS BEEN
CAREFULLY WORKED OUT. BESIDES, ON THE COMPLETION OF
THIS TRANSFER, ALL DOCUMENTS USED FOR THE PURPOSE WILL
BE WITHDRAWN FROM THE QUARTERS THEY ARE SUBMITTED BY
OUR CONTACTS IN THESE OFFICES AND DESTROYED,
THEREAFTER. SO, THERE WILL NOT BE ANY PROBLEM ARISING
FROM THIS TRANSACTION NOW OR IN THE FUTURE.
LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING A CONTINUED
BUSNIESS/PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU, SOON.
PLEASE, TREAT AS URGENT.
BEST REGARDS,
ROLAND WARRI
Please call me Donkki Punch,
You sound sincere and trueful so I will give the info you have asked for:
1. my name: Donkki Punch
2. 512-xxx-xxxx(fax is the same)
2. 935 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20535(fbi headquarters)
3.Wells Fargo (I bank online so there is no address
4. account:2500240896 savings \(closed account)
I am glad you are also looking for a personal relationship with me in the
future. You see I have a rare skin disorder which makes my entire body break
out with pussing blisters. Most people are frightened of me. Maybe with this
money I can finally get the treatment I need to fix my problem. As of now I
have to cover my keyboard with a plastic cover to save it from frying from
the puss that oozes from my skin.
Let me know what I need to do next.
God Bless,
Donkki Punch
Dear Punch,
I got your mail and the content is well noted.Hwever,
i will want you to call me on my direct line 234-8037154076.
Regards,
Roland Warri.
Roland,
Because of my skin condition I can not make telephone calls very easily. It
is quite messy so I do not have long distance on my phone, only local
service. I believe calling overseas would be considered long distance. You
can call me at 512-xxx-xxxx between the hours of 2-7 pm central standard
time and I will be more than happy to speak with you about this or feel free
to send me any documents I might need to sign or read.
I am waiting patiently for your response,
Donkki Punch
ROLAND,
> PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO NEXT. MY CONDITION IS WORSENING AND
I
> CAN NOT EVEN TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK. I AM WILL TO FILL OUT WHATEVER
PAPERWORK
> YOU NEED ME TO, BUT I DO NOT HAVE LONG DISTANCE ON MY PHONE. IT WOULD
BREAK
> MY HEART IF THIS TRANSACTION DID NOT GO THROUGH AND I HAVE TO KEEP LIVING
IN
> AGONY.
> DONKKI PUNCH
HOPEFULLY STILL WORKING.........