Donald Ducks family is pure inbreeding
Ekstra-bladet sunday 18th october 1998
(The title and whole article goes on a word-play, �ndcest and �ndavl,
menaing incest and inbreading, but �nd, means ducks... haha!)
A shamefull secret lies behind the origin of Huey, Dewey and Louie
It is with H, D, and L, as with Mary Candysellers i Hornslet, a bit south of Aarhus (author's badly placed childhood memories). On the male side the origin is lost in unmarital shame.
Mary was Candyseller 50 years ago in Hornslet. Next to cigarets and different goods for the sweet tooth she also sold magazines. That's why she also sold the first Donald Duck [weekly in DK, a monthly back then] that was on the stands in march 1949, when my own, economy-knowing father (he took care of the money) let me buy the first issue for 60 øre - [this is wrong! the price was 75 øre, if that is true Mary also broke the law! selling a magazine under it's price would take the license to sell magazines away from you, and it still does] - which contained the story with Donald as fireman, plus the nephews. Drawn by Carl Barks, the good artist, as he is called among all Donald Duck-freeks in the world.
But H, D and L can easily have come to life the same way as Mary's son. Mary was a poor single maid and was someday acute put into the local hospital with appendicitis. After the survey the doctor came back and looked strictly at Mary and said 'But Miss. Frederiksen. You haven't got appendicitis at all. You're going to have little baby.
The appendix was a son
the appendix showed up to be a son. Overmore Miss Frederiksen wasn't named Mary nor Frederiksen. because of nice reasons toward the son (Mary can have travelled to heaven) we hold back the real name.
The truth is that mary had had fun with a local magnate, who was actually a widow, but who didn't want to marry Mary [!]. When the case was somewhat enlightened the local carrier drove around the whole town and sold the peice of news for a coffeepunch. That was before the talking of blood alcohol levels.
Mary's family were decent people who at once walled up the secret door between Mary's and the magnats appartment.
'Oh lord' said the magnat ' then I'll have the trouble beraking it down again
Look, there's nothing about all this on Donald Duck's family tree which the Egmont concern has send out [?] on occassion of the celebartion of their golden anniversary with the Walt Disney (50 years). But H, D and L might have come to life under a manoeuvre that could be like the way Mary's son did.
Who's the father
It is a new thing for an old Donald Duck-freak like me, but the mother of the nephews is named Della Duck. That she's a sister to Donald I could have figured out withou a family tree.
But the father? Ahem. On the fine colored family tree where the reader can look into everithing the duckface is hidden by a surprised paarot and a question mark. Maybe Duckburg's local magnate? How about Uncle $crooge? He's said to be an uncle but who knows?
That Della Duck couldn't manege the 3 unreasonable kids is certain. During a holiday visist at Uncle Donald in a cartoon from the 30'es they behaved like the Beavis and Butthead of that time. Since them Uncle Donald has been chastising them with canes and rods. He can do that because they don't put people in prison in America, for punishing the kids, as they do it in Denmark. But with a beautiful result by the way. The boys have become, among other titles, ten-stared Junior Woodchuck generals.
Lost in Donald Duck
But back to march 1949. Before that had gone that Egmont [Gutenberghus, or even Egmont at that time..] negotiated to get the license for Disney comic-books. In 1948 they tried in Sweden and Norway. And in march in Denmark with 103.000 issues of Donald Duck as fireman. They were ripped from the stands.
As the years have dripped by the comic-book-impire have become colossal and sorrounds the whole world, latest in Thailand. I wonder what Donald is named overthere? From 1963 the stories have been produced in Europe, but without the genuine line and ingenuity of Carl Barks.
In 1949 I stood, seven years old with my dad by the hand in Marys candy store and was shorly thereafter a little lost amn. I love that duck. I've been hooked ever since. [sniff :-)]
Inbreeding and Incest (with that pun about ducks in danish)
But there are other ducks on the family tree. Donald Duck shows up to be the son of Quackmore Duck [This was of course the danish name here, but I know all] and and a tempered looking Hortense McDuck [Pedro wrote Duck... oops, huh? :-)]. The same Hortense is the sister of $crooge.
Continued
Picture NOTES
On this page is a cover of the horrible magazine Stålanden (known in english as Superduck. The text says. Poor Donald, the hard demands of our time sends him on daring adventures in outer space. (We see Donald as Superduck wanting to shoot some ugly duck-alien)
The next page shows the family tree in danish. Two texts tell that it's Donald Ducks family tree. With sensational biological weldings plus a lot of inbreeding [weldings between different kinds of birds in this case] and something that looks like incest.
[Noted should be that the ducks/birds here are just last names for a lot of animals that are seen by Don Rosa and a lot of others, as humans. people with different last names do marry. The strange reason that some men in the tree marry young girls is that the photos are taken at different times. I presume that the people/ducks marrying have almost the same age. The thought of such crimes as it may insinuate, might make someone at Disney p... throw up]
The other text tells that Daisy, April, May, June and Gyro Gearloose are friends of the family dynasty.
A cover with Donald and HDL in a boat is shown, with the text: That's how Donald should be drawn. Carl Barks' line on the cover of Jakob Stegelmanns excellent book. [Jakob is a a big fan of Barks, who wrote a book about him, and has his own programe on TV about comics, movies and games for soncoles and PC's]
END of picture Notes
I am then ashamed to tell it. But facts are thast there's so much "duckbreeding" in the tree that it's near to "duckcest" (Inbreeding and incest. Sorry). Plus a couple of biological sensations from the time before gene technology. . So the lightly retarded Cousin Gus is the result of a connection between Fanny Coot and Luke Goose. This must be the explanation for Gus' lightly goofed faceexpression and eating deisturbance.
Overmore Cousin Gus' mother is the daughter of Casey Coot and Gretchen Grebe [That is the exact kinds in danish too].
It looks a bit like a not-fitting couple. But of course, you never can tell.
Duckburg's most iritating person Cousin Gladstone is also a bit wrongly mixed. He is son of Goostave Gander and Daphne Duck (that's her name! [the latter has the very funny name Andelise And in danish, which would be Ducky Duck or something]), who's again a sister to Donald's father. Ending with the crazy Cousin Fethry [who wasn't meant to be in the rtree if you ask Don Rosa] and the furious Abner "Whitewater" Duck [who's called Furious in danish comics, and Whitewater... does that refer to some scandal??] are sons of Eider Duck and Lulubelle Loon. Also this is quite a sensational fertilization, and then you bloody well understand that Cousin Fethry is more than normally dotty.
Clinton and the cigar
Grandma Duck's real name is Elvira and she's the fruit of tender feelings between Gertrude Gadwall and Clinton Coot. Yes, his name is Clinton, and maybe Gertrude's stoned faceexpression is caused by the fact that the high (and low) cigar handling [danish pun intended, but I can't find the words...] is a family weekness with the Clinton family.
[Don did intend the punb with the last name of some president, but Clinton is Coot's first name and he was the founder of the Junior Woodchucks!]
In an independent column we find the friends of the Duck Dynasty. Among others [??] Daisy, April, May, June and the inventor Gyro Gearloose.
I don't dare to wonder what his origines are... [He's a kind of parrot or chicken, and hios forefather are an inventor and some high-standing Gearlosse in the Junior Woodchuck troops]
This way learning and being chocked about sensational facts on the family tree of Duckburg I wish both Donald Duck, the Egmont-concern and Walt Disney [some dead guy who founded a company] happy jubilee.
Then every one can think his own thaughts on the gold aniversary day!
Written by Pedro - translated and commented by A C