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-- RECOGNIZE
AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE WARNING SIGNS. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE
THE PROBLEM. PRETENDING THE WARNING SIGNS ARE NOT THERE WON’T MAKE
HIS BEHAVIOUR CHANGE.
-- TELL YOURSELF:
“IT IS NOT MY FAULT” AND REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME. NO MATTER
WHAT YOU DID OR SAID OR WHAT HE SAID YOU DID OR SAID, YOU DID NOT
CAUSE HIS ABUSIVE RESPONSE.
-- REALIZE
THAT YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIS BEHAVIOUR NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE
HIM. YOU MAY BELIEVE (because he says so) THAT IF YOU CHANGE THINGS
ABOUT YOURSELF, HE WILL CHANGE AND THINGS WILL BE BETTER. PLEASE
KNOW THAT ABUSIVE PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS FIND FAULT. THEY WILL ALWAYS
COME UP WITH SOMETHING YOU DID OR SAID THAT THEY WILL SAY DROVE
THEM TO THE ABUSE. YOU WILL CONTINUE TO BE BLAMED.
-- ABUSIVE
BEHAVIOUR IS VERY RESISTANT TO CHANGE; AND, GENERALLY, LONG-TERM,
CONSISTENT CHANGE ONLY OCCURS AS A RESULT OF COUNSELLING. HOWEVER,
COUNSELLING DOES NOT ALWAYS WORK. THE ABUSIVE PERSON MUST ACCEPT
THAT WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS WRONG AND WANT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT
IT. IF THE PERSON ONLY GOES FOR COUNSELLING BECAUSE YOU ASK HIM TO
OR TO GET YOU BACK IN HIS LIFE, COUNSELLING IS NOT LIKELY TO
BE SUCCESSFUL.
-- REMEMBER
THAT PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL ASSAULT ARE BOTH CRIMES AND SO IS THREATENING
TO DO YOU HARM. YOU DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO GIVE INFORMATION WHICH MAY
LEAD TO CHANGES BEING LAID.
-- TALK TO
SOMEONE YOU FEEL SAFE WITH AND THAT YOU TRUST. YOU CAN CALL A WOMEN’S
SHELTER, OR CRISIS LINE FOR SUPPORT.
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