The No Any Sense
Made by Eustacia
Spines (Edited Version) (Version 2) Written by: Emily Palmieri & Eustacia Kathrens Edited by: Emily Palmieri, Eustacia Kathrens, and Kristinna White Scene 1 (In downstairs living room Gramcracker and Morbid are sleeping on the couches) Characters: Gramcracker, Beu, Morbid, Cereal (Faint scream in background.) Gramcracker: (Grunts) Beu! Cereal: (Grunts and jumps off couch) How would you know who screamed? Out side (In the field) (Walking around in the field till Gramcracker and Cereal see Beu) Beu: Am I asleep or are you awake? Gramcracker: Why are you asking me? You should know that! Do you know where Morbid is? Beu: If he's not around here no I don't know where he is. (A few minuets later in different part of the field) Gramcracker: Morbid! Morbid! Are you OK?! Morbid: I think Bob did it. Gramcraker: What? Who's Bob? Morbid: (Turns Gramcracker's face to sign.) You know that dude from The Hell House. Cereal: Where? Bob did what? (Morbid turns Cereals head towards the sign.) All except Beu and Morbid: Gasp!#%^&#^+= (Camera gets closer and closer to Cereal and Gramcraker until it hits them in the face and they fall over.) Morbid: Oh, you bastard! What did you do that for!? It wasn't that dramatic was it? Camera Person: Sorry I am really sorry. Are you guys OK? (Camera turns off.) Scene 2 (On Porch) Characters: Gramcracker, Tink, Morbid, Beu Gramcraker: (Talks with hand against face.) Thanks and that's a pepperoni pizza. Thank you. Good by. (Dials number on hand.) Hello this is Gramcracker I am calling because I found a sign in my field OK bye. Tink: Meow. Morbid: DAD! DAD! DAD, DAD, DAD, DAD, DAD! Gramcracker: What! Morbid: Tink just peed all over the floor. Tink: Meow. Gramcracker: Well clean it up! And get me some beer. Tink: Meow. Beu: Can I have some beer? Gramcracker: YES! Just leave me alone to stupidly mope around the house and feel sad. Beu: Why? Gramcracker: Because someone littered in my field! Scene 3 (At porch again And in kitchen too!) Characters: Gramcracker, Cereal, Beu, Morbid, Pizzaperson Pizzaperson: One extra large pepperoni pizza with a note for you in the pizza. Gramcracker: A note? (Pizzaperson hands Gramcracker the crop sign that was in the box.) Gramcracker: AAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! (Pips up the crop sign, slams door, opens it again, and takes pizza.) Pizzaperson: (Talkin through door.) Yo Dude, can I stay with you? I don't want to go back with the alien! Gramcracker: (Opens door) Alien!? Pizzaperson: Alien. Cereal: (In Kitchen.) Alien? Beu: (Drinking beer) Alien? Morbid (Cleaning up pee.) Alien? Pizzaperson: (Back at starting place.) Alien. Gramcracker: O K I will let you stay. Scene 4 (In basement all standing around T.V) Characters: Newscaster, You, Alien (The TV is on for a few seconds and then goes to a live news broadcast.) Newscaster: This is from a person named You in Georgia and this is very scary. (Goes to ping pong room. The "Alien" is harassing You.) You: Leave me alone Ahhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhh! (Repeats till end of tape.) Alien: (Meanwhile Alien is doing exercising routines.) And 1&2&3&4 Come on get that ugly fat off your gut! And 1&2&3&4 and 1&2&3&4 and 1&2&3&4. (Tape turns off.) Newscaster: I am now very scared because I am scared. Signing off, Newscaster. Scene 5 (In kitchen.) Characters: Beu, Morbid, Gramcracker, Cereal, Pizzaperson Beu: I found an artifact of the aliens. Morbid: It was a TV with an ax mark in it. Gramcracker: Cereal, Pizzaperson did you do something? Cereal: The kids were addicted to it so the Pizzaperson and me hit it with an ax and then threw it out the window. Gramcracker: How does that make it an alien artifact? Pizzaperson: But we were drunk when we threw it out the window. Gramcracker: That makes it an alien artifact? Morbid: You mean we have no TV at all because of you!? Gramcracker: No we have lots of back up TV's. But still... CAN ANY OF YOU ANSWER THE QUESTIONS STATED ABOVE!! Cereal: Nope. Morbid & Beu: Really! Cereal: Yeah we have 200 million in the coat closet! Gramcracker: These two conversations are confusing me! Scene 6 (Watching TV again but at night in basement.) Characters: Gramcracker, Cereal, Beu, Morbid, Pizzaperson Gramcracker: (With Morbid asleep on his lap and Beu asleep on Cereal's lap the TV is still running and no one is watching but it is cartoons instead of news.) When did the TV change from news to cartoons? Cereal: I changed it 4 hours ago. You didn't notice? Gramcracker: No I didn't. Beu: Then you're stupid. Morbid: Yeah! Gramcracker: Shut up! If your going to be awake get me more beer! Pizzaperson: Me too! Scene 7 (On porch.) Characters: Gramcracker, Police Police: You have an alien problem? Grmacracker: Naw really? I would have never known that! And another thing why did you take so long?! Police: We got here as soon as we could. Gramcracker: It's been 10 days. Police: So? Gramcracker: Go away your no help if your going to be late! Scene 8 (Putting boards up on windows and doors.) Characters: Cereal, Gramcracker, Beu, Morbid, Pizzaperson Cereal: (Sets 1 book down in front of the screen door.) There we are done. Gramcracker: Wow that will hold them for about... um... 2 seconds! Cereal: So? Gramcracker: Since your uncle Cereal is an idiot we will wait the war out in the ping pong room. Cereal: I still feel perfectly safe out here with a book keeping the aliens out. Gramcracker: Well, your coming with us anyway. Beu: What will we do for food? Morbid: We still have that pizza. Pizzaperson: Yeah but it is 1 week old by now. Gramcracker: So? It's still edible. Now let's go get the pizza and then barricade the door to the ping pong room. Cereal: That could take years to barricade a door of that size! Gramcracker: Well, it will take just as long to barricade a sliding GLASS door. Scene 9 (In ping pong room for rest of movie.) Characters: Gramcracker, Cereal, Beu, Morbid, Pizzaperson (Pilling stuff by door.) Cereal: Done! Pizzaperson: Finally! (Flps on to the floor.) Gramcracker: Sould be strong enough to hold them off till next Christmas. Beu: But tomorrow is... Morbid: ...christmas. Gramcracker: Crap. All: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Lights go on and off very fast twice and then go completely off.) Scene 9 � (In ping pong room <still>.) Characters: Same as scene 9 including alien (In the dark.) Cereal: I dnow that I have a flashlight down here. Gramcracer: I have it right here. (Shines light in face and sees the alien behind him.) Alien: Hi :-)! All AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! (Lights turn back on; Cereal sees lots of unfinished cups of beer; all grab a cup and splash it on alien.) Alien: (Licks lips.) Mmm... yummy (Grabs a cup and drinks until it is all gone. Then, the alien is very, very, very, fat and then blows up.) Beu: EWWWWW!#%^& Morbid: Who is going to clean all of this fat up? (Everyone except Morbid runs out of room and runs back with brooms gives broom to Morbid. Takes a slice of pizza.) Scene 10 (In ping pong table room.) Characters: All Police: All rise for the judge. (Everyone stands up.) Alien: (Walks in as a judge) Hi! :-) All except alien: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Everyone except alien runs out screaming. Gramcracker runs back and grabs pizza box.) Narrator: This has been Spines a spoof off of Signs By M. Night Shamalad, you can find it at your local video rental store, this was brought to you from Hell House Co. and the word MINI MOOSE!
No Any Sense # 2 Plush Toy Tiger, Plastic Dragon Written by: Eustacia K. Edited by: Emily P. & Kristinna W. SCENE # 1 (Outside by trampoline.) Narrator: (Walks out with a toy tiger and dragon, sets them on the ground.) Since the original movie didn't have these two IMPORTANT characters we decided to put them in the movie. (Waits for five sec.) Back to the movie. Harry V: Yo What's up? I'm stupid! How about you? Girr: Excuse me? (Everyone stop's where they are and narrator walks out.) Narrator: Oh yeah it is in Chinese and we don't want to take the time to translate it. George: Wow! That's very nice. Thank you for telling me that! (Everyone stop's AGAIN narrator walks out with Voice pointing a gun in his back.) Narrator: But! Voice: Ewwwwwwwwww! You said Butt! Narrator: Let me finish you dork! As I was saying before I got so RUDELY interrupted... Voice: Sorry. Narrator: We do have to do subtitles. But... (Voice starts to say something.) Narrator: Don't even think about it! And don't say sorry! Like I was saying be we can't tell you the first two lines that were said but the MAIN characters. Thank you for your time. (Everyone goes back to what they were doing.) Girr: What did you say? George: We can't tell you, remember? Girr: No. Harry V: Nope. George: Me neither. Harry: Harry V? How did you become Harry V? Harry V: I really don't know. Bob: How the h**l did you come up with that stupid idea! Harry V: Hey that's my name jerk! Bob: Well I don't care! Cause your name is weird! Harry V: Well what about your name? Hmmm? (Emphasizes on Hmmm.) (Bob runs off crying.) Harry: What the h**l is the matter with him? Girr: I do not know. SCENE # 2 (In computer room.) George: And that is why you DON'T put water directly on the computer tower! Haryy: We're sorry. Harry V: We really are. Girr: Yeah, we didn't mean to intentionally pour water on the computer. George: You all did something really bad so... Harry V: Ahhhhhhhhhh! George: Why the h**l are you screaming! Harry V: We left Harry I, Harry II, Harry II, and Harry VI at the public can in Wisconsin! (Flash back to public can in Wisconsin.) Harry I: Where are they? Harry II: They just went to get a drink. Harry II: Over there in plain eyesight from here. (Goes back to computer room.) Bob: Whoops! I didn't mean to drive off. Girr: We have to go get them cause BOB left �em there! (After sentence he pats Harry V on the back who is crying now.) Harry V: Why... (Sob) Why... (Sob) WWWHHHHH YYYYY! Bob: I didn't mean to I thought they were tired to the top of th... then you WOULD HAVE KNOWN BECAUSE YOU START BLUBBERING IF YOU ARE 1 INCH AWAY FROM THEM! Girr, Harry, George, and Harry V: Grrrrrrrrr... SCENE # 3 (In ping-pong table room.) George: (Opens up ping-pong table room dorrs so it makes it very bright very quick.) OK every body time to wake up! Harry: (Sounding like Golum.) It doesn't wants to. Girr: STOP ACTING LIKE GOLUM YOU DID THAT ALL THROUGH THE RING! Harry: Sorry, back to George's question, NO, NO, NO, AND A MILLION TIMES NNNOOO! Girr: What question? Harry: Fine! Back to George's COMMAND! George: I will give you 10 fre****g reasons to get your fre****g lazy crazy a***s out of bed! Harry V: I will bet you $2 you can't! George: Your on! (Holds fingers up as he says them): 1. Get 2. Your 3. Fre****g 4. Lazy 5. Crazy 6. A***s 7. Out 8. Of 9. Bed 10 Now! That will be $2 please! Harry V: Those weren't reasons those were words! George: Those were reasons! Harry V: No they weren't! George: OK I'll tell you 1: Get your brothers & sisters! Harry V: Well, I don't have to pay you two dollars. (Bursts out crying.) George: Oh shut up! SCENE # 4 (Still in ping-pong table room.) Harry V: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there...? Girr, George, Harry, and Bob: SHUT UP! Bob: I need to use the can. George: NO! Girr: I'm hungry! Can we stop? George: NO! Harry: I... George: NO! Harry: Hey! I didn't even finish! George: I don't care we paid $15,000,000,001.22 for these seats on this train so shut up! Intercom: It's so creamy so rich in flavor it's COFFEE! Come to the dining car and get a cup of creamy rich COFFEE! Girr: What the h**l is koffie? Bob: Do I look like I know? Hmm? Harry: No, you don't look like you know. But then again I really wouldn't be able to know sense I don't even know what the expression looks like! (Bob runs off crying.) Girr: Be afraid! Harry: Man! You're mean! (Girr runs off crying.) George: No, you're mean! (Harry runs off crying.) Harry V: Are we there yet? George NO! (Harry runs off crying.) George: (Turns to camera.) Since there's no one here I'm going to just skip to the part where I run off crying. Camera Person: Hey, what about me you jerk! (George runs off crying.) SCENE # 5 (Find scene 4's screening room.) George: (Sitting in a chair and singing to himself.) I can go down hill, on the icy snow, drest up in my unitard, where else can I go? I'm only a man, on two skinny red skis, instead of clone I'm wearing antifreeze! I can't even tell if I'm winning the race, cuz' the snot is frozen on my face. I not easy to downhill ski. (Girr, Harry, Harry V, and Bob walk <with coffee> in and hear George singing and they all start laughing except George.) George: Stop it! Where did you get the koffie? Intercom: It's so creamy so rich in flavor it's COFFEE! Come to the dining car and get a cup of creamy rich COFFEE! Girr: There. George: Oh! Get me some P... Harry V: God you could have said... George: ...LEASE. Harry V: OK! (Walks out and then back.) HAA, HAA, HAA! Would you like it decaff or late? (Girr slurps very loudly <COFFEE is milk>) SCENE # 6 (On porch.) Girr: (Everyone except Girr is laying on the ground.) WE ARE IN... (Says in baby voice.) ...Wisconsin. SCENE # 6 � (In ping-pong room <everyone is dancing.>) (After 10 minutes, everyone stops where they are and narrator comes out.) Narrator: Hey! Why the h**l did you push me off the screening deck! Voice: I don't know. (Narrator runs back and everyone falls down from eaxugstun.) News Reporter: Now back to a special report on "AMERICA AT WAR>" With Dan Rather (Everyone salutes something different for 10 seconds and goes back to laying on the floor.) Girr: (Saying from floor.) What in the h**l was that!?!?!?!%&#%^##$%! Bob: (Getting up and brushing him self off.) Do I look like I... Harry V: Just skip it and cry! Bob: NO! Sup... sup... suprizingly... (Runs off crying.) Harry V: Told you! SCENE #7 (All somewhere and doing something <Ok their walking and talk about something.>) Girr: Duh... Duh... (Keeps repeating until next line.) George: Umm... Umm... (Keeps repeating until next line.) Harry: Duhe... Duhe... (Keeps repeating until next line.) Harry V: Yuh... Yuh... (Keeps repeating until next line.) (Everyone is saying 3 seconds after last person.) SCENE # 8 (All walking ar ound in circles out-side.) Bob: (George stops in front of Bob.) You found any? George: Nope. Harry: (Harry V stops in front of Harry.) You found any? Harry V: Nope. Girr: (Stops nobody stops in front of him.) HEY! You're supposed to stop in front of me stupid! All except Girr: Hello Stupid! (Girr scoffs) George: I want a Bar-Bee-Q cereal for breakfast! Girr: Hey! Harry: Well, you can't cuz' you ate all the food! Girr: Hey! George: NO! That... was... that... bear. (Looks around like he is confused.) Intercom: It's so creamy so rich in flavor it's COFFEE! Come to the dining ccar and get a cup of creamy rich COFFEE! Girr: HEY! All except Girr: What!? Girr: There is a grocery store over their! Bob: OK! But I have one question. Harry: What? Bob: Where did the intercom come from? Girr: I don't know. SCENE # 9 (In a field.) Harry I: Where the h**l are they? Harry II: I don't know! Harry III: Oh! How could they ever have survived that 17 second walk from the can to the water fountain! It's been 3 fre***g years! Harry VI: It fell away...! Harry's I-III: Oh shut up! Harry VI: You would be scared too if it fell away! Harry II: (Looks at camera put hand on it.) Will you please! BE QUIET! (Takes hand off the camera pushes Harry VI down.) Camera Person: What I do? (Sniffs) Ghost of What's for Lunch Today: Dry sticks and pine cones. Harry I: What's for lunch today? Ghost of What's for Lunch Today: Like I said, dry sticks and pine cones. Harry II: I don't know! Ghost of What's for Lunch today: Dry sticks and ping cones DAGN NAT! Harry III: Dry sticks and pine cones. Harry I & II: OH! Ghost of What's for Lunch Today: Oh yeah! You listen to him. Harry III: Did any one hear something? Harry I: No... (Ghost of What's for Lunch Today sticks tongue out at Harry I & II.) SCENE # 10 (In a field <again.>) Bob: Ja I am stu-pi-e-d! Harry: Hey what's that? (Everyone runs to the "thing" Camera stays where it is, everyone runs back.) It's... All: THEM! Girr: OH MY BOB!! (All walk away.) SCENE # 11 (All on the porch.) Narrator: Well, folks this is the part where everyone "FALLS AWAY" and at the same time goes crazy but since Harry VI is already crazy in every other film he will be so smart every body else will seem normal. Oh yes, when you hear this will you go get a dictionary and look up the word Groringoredith? Thank you for your time. Harry V: OK every body ready!? George: Yeah! (In single file they one by one jump off the porch and fall on the ground and after the last person jumps off every one gets up and goes back inside.) Narrator: We want to let you know that this movie was NO produced by the people who made the read movie you can get it at your local movie rental store. You can get it in Okish dubbing or with sub titles if you can't hear. SOOOO you won't find any of this load of c**p through out the real movie.
Last Update: 2-25-07
Created by: Silent Fuzzle
