i talked to my mama last night. hearing
her voice was like an anker yanking my tears.
she blames herself for letting me slip so far away from her
but it's not her at all.
moving away was something of my coice, it was something
that i just had to do.
now i miss her like crazy and everthing i used to know.
i wish i nver came here, but i'm learning
to love this place now and i know it would be a heartbreak once i leave here too.
Monday, November 21st, 2005
i watched the korean version of the notebook today.
i cried so badly that half an hour later i was still crying.
yes it was sad, but that's not the reason why i cried. i just
remembered when someone used to love me like that, i'm just
sorry that i took you for granted.
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
i know that i'm not suppose to miss him anymore
but someone who's tainted your heart so badly,
how can you forget them? i thought that he'd be the one crying
and missing me... i never thought it'd be the other way around.
everywhere i go and everthing i do, i feel
his prescence.
Saturday, December 17th, 2005
stress stress stress, i don't know what to do right now...
i wake up with a heart full of heaviness and i feel that i cannot breathe
at times.
(no, it's not because my artery is plugged)
but i shall not worry, i will get myself out of this mess.
i just have to be stronger and work harder.
tij, i will remember your words, thanks so much,
what would i ever do w/o you and ka and the whole family and relative.
i'd die...
Monday, January 4th, 2006
okay, so now the stress is partially over. i guess all that i had to really
do was just relax. i realize that i'm those people
who freaks out over things. how silly of me!
i feel smart again. i just have to pretend that i am and then i am!
i'll be able to graduate if i don't fail this semester
because now i won't have to worry about that one class
i didn't have the credit for.
well, whatever.