The Predator

On Wednesday, November 7, 2001, our local news station (a network affiliate) carried the story of a man who was arraigned on several sexual offender charges. He was arrested while breaking into the home of a teen-aged girl. He had a handgun in his possession at that time and it is unclear what his intent was.

Normally, I pay no more heed to stories like this than any other. Each day carries another depiction of the lawlessness and depravity that runs rampant in our society. What caught my attention was the mention of the name of his employer, a client of mine.

Although society's stereo-typical image of these predators is of old, filthy, drooling, leering lechers who would stand out in any crowd, consider that this man was comparatively young, well-groomed, educated and relatively well-heeled (his income last year was around $50,000.00).

Investigation yielded that he found his victims in chat rooms, preserving his anonymity by creating a girl's profile, complete with a phony picture. He was popular enough to lure in other victims because he maintained the air of any other young woman in todays' world, with the same problems with boys, fears about popularity and annoying parents nearly every teen-aged girl faces every day. It was determined that on at least one occasion he had sexual relations with a young girl in his vehicle.

Opinion:

I am by no means a Puritan. I believe in freedom of expression and "Live and let live." I admire the female form. I believe the most precious gifts given us by the Creator are the soft gentle curves of a woman. I think the Venus de Milo, Cupid and Psyche, Hylas and the Nymphs, The Birth of Venus, The Three Graces, etc. is ART.

BUT… as the father of four daughters, I believe comparing what this man did to the appreciation of art and beauty is like comparing apples to oranges!

With that said:

A Message To Parents Everywhere

I am old enough to remember a time when parents felt the right to demand to know where every child was going, whom they were with and expected their curfews to be observed. I remember time limits on the one telephone we had and Mom screening our calls. We had one television set and our parents decided what was watched (we had to ask permission to watch the afternoon "Bandstand" shows). As children we knew who the bosses were and how far we could push the boundaries set by them. At one time or another, I broke just about every one of the rules set down by my parents and suffered the CONSEQUENCES of my actions.

In the new millennium everything has changed and change is a good thing, most of it being positive. We have:

Our children have more rights now than they know what to do with and, unfortunately, often lack the wisdom to exercise these rights properly.

Parents seem to feel they have no rights or rather have given up because they are informed that their kids have rights. We now have:

I understand what it takes for most families to get ahead, or at least stay afloat, in the country today. Almost always both parents must work to generate the necessary income to pay for these luxuries that have become necessities.

We get home, tired from a hard day at work, wanting little more than peace and tranquility, a meal and maybe some television before nodding off to sleep.

We are so self-absorbed that even when our children want our attention we are, far too often, too busy to be bothered.

People like the example above will be less likely to be able to victimize our loved ones if we remember why we started a family in the first place. It is our RESPONSIBILITY to care for and nurture our young people, even when the boundaries we set are not popular with them. Exercise the parental obligation to inform your children about the dangers of predators and monitor what materials they are viewing on the Internet. Help them understand that not everyone is truthful in whom they are and what they want. Most importantly, explain to them the perils of peer pressure.

I am reminded of one of my Mom's favorite sayings when I told her "… but all my friends are doing it!" She would just reply, "If all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you go too?"

Being cool, fitting in with the best group, the "In crowd" sometimes isn't all it's cracked up to be.