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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
The Song Challenge: Sometimes I Feel Like Felon, Sometimes I Don't (Hurricane, Utah) - Inmate Brian McCluskey, serving a one-year jail sentence for attempted possession of methaphetamine, believed he had found heaven at the Purgatory Correctional Facility. A bag of M&Ms he earned for helping with chores at the jail was thought to be the million-dollar winner of a national contest.
Deputy Julie Pugmire gave the candy to McCluskey as a reward for helping her pass out commissary items. When he opened the bag, the 27-year-old found candies that were sky blue, white, purple - colors he'd never seen before. Other inmates told him he might have won M&Ms' "Fix-Up the Mix-Up" contest, which they had seen advertised on television.
Sheriff Kirk Smith told The Associated Press that he was sure that the inmate had won the contest. "We're confident he has the bag advertised as the winning bag. It was put in property then given to his wife."
But Mars Inc., said that only one of the bags has a game piece that identifies the winner. The million others get a 16 ounce bag of candy.
The bag was being kept in a safe-deposit box until it was authenticated. The Mars company later said that McCluskey wasn't the Grand Prize Winner after all -- only one of a million First Prize winners -- who only get a free bag of M&M's, not the million dollars McCluskey thought he'd won.
Your M&Ms Won't Get You Out Of Prison Anymore by Dharmabum
(Tune: John Prine's Flag Decal)
I was an inmate doing hard time,
In a place called Pergatory,
When I got a bag of candy,
From the prison deputy,
I opened it and looked inside,
And much to my surprise,
I thought I was a millionaire,
I couldn't believe my eyes.
Chorus:
But your M&M's won't get you out of prison anymore,
They won't get you any pardon,
Won't unlock that prison door,
You just stay & do your time son,
Just keep mopping up that floor,
Cause your M&M's won't get you out of prison anymore.
I ran down to the warden,
Said you gotta set me free,
I've just become a rich man,
I don't belong here don't you see,
I ain't suited for this lifestyle,
These stripes just ain't for me,
I should be sipping marguritas,
In the lap of luxury.
Chorus
The warden called the company,
Where the candy had come from,
I'm not the grand prize winner,
Out of a million I'm just one,
I'd gotten up all of my hopes,
That million would be handy,
But it looks like I'll be doing time,
With this crappy bag of candy.
Chorus
So it's back down to the cellblock,
With the convicts and the crooks,
And don't turn your back on Bubba,
When he's got those amorous looks,
My parole will come along someday,
And with a little bit of luck,
When I pull off my next caper,
I'm gonna steal me an M&M's truck.
Cause your M&M's won't get you out of prison anymore,
They won't get you any pardon,
Won't unlock that prison door,
You just stay & do your time son,
Just keep mopping up that floor,
Cause your M&M's won't get you out of prison anymore.