SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

Kiwis Put The Kebash On Santa's Ho –– Father Christmas has been told to stop saying: "ho ho ho" in New Zealand because it frightens children.  Sian Barber, of Westaff Recruitment, which is finding Santas for shopping malls, told The Dominion newspaper that the traditional shout was scary.  "We're trying to divert them off going 'ho ho ho'. . . for some children it can seem a bit ferocious," she said.  Instead, in this new, sensitive age, Santas are being taught that talking to children the right way was important, as was the ability to listen, show patience, warmth and understanding.  "We need someone who has an affinity with children, someone who can really understand the importance of what they represent," Ms Barber said.  "That's important for the children, and for the mall owners because they are big drawcards."


Christmas Time in Wellington by derrymacash

derrymacash's Comments:  Those of you familiar with Steve Earle's song "Christmas Time In Washington" might appreciate this next entry . . .


It was Christmas time in Wellington
The City Council met
The chamber filled to bursting
The whips had seen to that
There were matters they must ratify
Decisions they must make
There were issues of great import
There were lots of votes at stake

The first to rise was Smugly Smug
He was primped and oiled and sleek
When the local press are out in force
He's always first to speak
"Citizens, I put to you
Motion 95
That Santa Claus" � a pregnant pause �
"Be forced to modernise"

Come back Woody Guthrie
Come back to us now
Your "Songs To Grow For Mums And Kids"
Shall be our battle-cry
These folks disown tradition
But their notions are half-baked
They glorify modernity
Purely for its sake

Then up spoke Mrs Primly Neat
She's a tweedy broguish dame
With her narrow hips, she pursed her lips
And started to declaim
"This Father Christmas nonsense!
It's time for it to go
There's no room in the modern world
For elves and ho-ho-ho."

"Well said" cried Mr Stoutly Plump
"These old ways have had their time
I cannot see the point of them,
Their reason or their rhyme"
And one by one they all lined up
To cast their tawdry votes
And in defence of Santa Claus
Not a single Councillor spoke

Come back Woody Guthrie
Come back to us now
Your "Songs To Grow For Mums And Kids"
Shall be our battle-cry
These folks disown tradition
They replace it with the new
But the sense of what they're missing
Is known by me and you

In the public gallery
An old man slowly rose
His beard was long and silver
Crimson were his clothes
He said "I will not keep you long
My sledge is parked outside
But I've got a right to comment
And I will not be denied

I've heard your petty bitching
And your tight-arsed decrees
At first I thought your edicts
Were just some sort of tease
But now that I have witnessed
Just how mean you really are
I'm gonna strike pre-emptively
From now on this is war"

Come back Woody Guthrie
Come back to us now
Your "Songs To Grow For Mums And Kids"
Shall be our battle-cry
These folks disown tradition
A brand new world they crave
But along with the bathwater
They are throwing out the babe

And so with that the old man left
The elected council smirked
Another hollow victory
All in a day's work
But come December 25th
With no contingency planned
Not a single present
Was delivered in the land

Instead of which each boy and girl
Awoke to find a note
"Christmas has been cancelled
By a municipal vote
It is with deep reluctance
That I follow their bye-laws
Best wishes for the season
Yours sincerely Santa Claus"

Come back Woody Guthrie
Come back to us now
Your "Songs To Grow For Mums And Kids"
Shall be our battle-cry
These folks disown tradition
But they don't know the cost
You can't retrieve traditions
When traditions have been lost

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