SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Lost your 'Olympic' spirit? Here's a little story that should help to inspire all of us to 'go for the gold' . . . So, Go For It Challenge!rs!!   Thirty contestants from around the globe recently gathered in London for the second annual round of the Official World Dung Spitting Championships. CNN's Amanda Kibel was there to witness the 'action':   "It might not be the most physically demanding sport in the world, but mentally, it's a real challenge. All you need, say competitors, is a good lung capacity, limber lips, a strong mind and stomach, and a prime pellet of animal dung. The aim of the game is simple: overcome the resistance to placing the dung in your mouth and then, spit it out.   The all-important dung selection is first, and the competition was fierce for pieces of the finest droppings, gathered on a game farm in Africa, yielded by the Kudu, a small deer-like animal. And clearly, not just any old dung will do. A worthy pellet must be firm, not crumbly, and preferably, not too fresh.   As the first training session unfolded, interest from some passersby was high, but controversy dogged this competition from the start. One woman passerby commented, "You're spitting! And there's a rule about spitting in this country.  There is, there's a bylaw about spitting."   The games must go on. Competition day dawned, and competitors embarked on the vital warm-ups (gulping large portions of golden ale and dark stout). Mouths well lubricated, they spit their best, but in the end, it's a sudden-death playoff.   The Dungmeister, the reigning champion, the man who, in the past, has spat a mighty ten meters, faces off against an unknown, a rank outsider! A new champion is born, and he pays tribute to his technique: "I use the little pointed end (of the dung) towards the back. That seems to work."   But it takes more than just technique. Dung spitters say that what it's really all about is a simple case of mind over waste matter."

Would You Promise Not To Chew? by Áine
(Tune: If I Fell by Lennon/McCartney)

(Intro)
If I fell in love with you,
Would you promise not to chew,
In contests "dung-kudu"?
When I knew that you were "it",
Was when I saw how far you spit,
Oh, the marks that you could hit!

When I fell in love with you,
I have to say,
Was when you rose to spit Kudu,
On a bright sunny day,
And oh!
As you puckered up to blow,
I knew
That I had to have your dung,
And you!

The gentle breeze that blew your hair,
And your fair share,
Of brown pellets through the square,
From here to there,
Was so,
Oh so sweet as each one left
Your cheek,
Though I had to hold my nose,
From the reek.

As the contest it wound down,
To mounds on the ground,
I tried hard to catch your eye,
Let you know I'd found
My love,
But I could not stand to go,
You know,
For I was stuck from head to toe,
In offal doe.

As I watched you walk away,
With the grand prize,
I knew I'd never fill the cup,
Come up to size,
For you,
Were a champion of poo,
And I,
Just could never measure up to
Kudu doo,
If I fell in love with you.

Back to Top