Wouldn't It Be Loverly by Dharmabum


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The Song Challenge: I Wanna Hold Your . . . May 31 — A sex-crazed male monkey has caused an uproar in a central Sri Lankan town, stalking and attacking girls in public and flirting outrageously with cats and dogs, a newspaper said on Wednesday. The monkey has roused the anger of residents of Kundasale by following young women around the town, jumping on them without warning and clinging tenaciously until it was chased away with sticks and stones, the Daily News reported. Apparently having little success with human females, the primate also makes advances on other animals to which it has "a very strong affinity (particularly) cats and dogs of the opposite sex," the newspaper said, adding the creature fed its libido by stealing chocolates from local shops. The monkey business has outraged the town in Sri Lanka's conservative rural heartland where public displays of affection are frowned upon even between humans of the opposite sex.

Wouldn't It Be Loverly by Dharmabum

Wandering your streets
trying to fornicate,
I'm just a little horny
simean primate,
If I don't find someone soon
I'll have to masturbate,
Oh wouldn't it be loverly.

Eating little candies
made of chocolot,
My simean labido's
getting mighty hot,
If I can't find a girlfriend
I'll take whatever you got,
Oh wouldn't it be loverly.

Feeling amorous
when my heart goes thump,
Watching all the girls
for a leg to hump,
Getting hit with sticks
I'm all brused & bumped,
Oh wouldn't it be loverly.

Chorus:
What a abso-bloomin-lutely wonderful life
I'd never leave me bed if I had a human wife.

I'm searching for
a Sri Lanka girl,
Give me half a chance
& I'll rock her world,
I'll wave my monkeyhood
like a flag unfurled,
Oh wouldn't it be loverly.

If all of my flirtations
I nowhere get,
I'll try some titillation
with the family pet,
Be it Rover or with pussy
I'll have no regret,
Oh wouldn't it be loverly.

Chorus:
What a abso bloomin lutely wonderful life
I'd never leave me bed if I had a human wife.

Darwin's theory never
had a so lu tion,
I am the missing link
to ev o lu tion,
It'll be a homosimian
rev o lu tion,
Then It'll be just loverly.