SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Here's the 'beastie bliss' as promised. This challenge idea was suggested by our own dear Bert. Go for it, Challenge!rs!!!   Vienna, May 9 - The illegal stowaway arrived in the Czech Republic with a nasty hangover and was apprehended by the authorities - but not without a fight. But instead of being sent back on the first ship out, he's become a star.  Meet Vaclav, the raccoon who survived for weeks on beer and dog food.   "He was one lucky raccoon," says Vladimir Thichor, head of the animal clinic in Pardubice. "If that consignment of beer had not been on board, he would not have lasted three days."   Vaclav - named by Czechs with a wink at their ex-dissident President Vaclav Havel, another great survivor - traveled in a container all the way from Canada to the East Bohemian town of Pardubice, deep in the provinces. He probably crept in for a free meal when the container was being loaded in Toronto. But when the door closed, he was trapped for more than three weeks.   Vaclav tore into the packs of dry dog-food, then looked for something to quench his thirst. Something told him to sink his sharp teeth into a six pack, and from that moment on, Vaclav was one happy puppy. So to speak.  As a result, when the container was opened, Vaclav did not want to come out: he had found beastie bliss. Two policemen specially trained in the capture of vicious animals were called in. Clad in protective suits and armed with gladiator nets, the team spent two hours trapping the rancorous raccoon, who fought them tooth and claw all the way to his allotted cage.  There, he sulked in a corner and slept it off, suffering the raccoon equivalent of cold turkey. Nor was he charmed when he was given a bath to wash the beer residue out of his matted coat.  Vaclav is now the darling of the Czech media. The Pardubice animal clinic's phone has been jammed with calls offering him a home. Director Thichor, however, was not moved by the outpouring of sentiment. "A raccoon is not a family pet," he said. "Vaclav will go to a zoo where everyone can come and see him - and where we will try to find him a mate."   Now if he could just get a television and a six pack ... 

The Wild Raccoon by Bradypus
(Tune:  The Wild Rover)

I've been a wild raccoon for many a year
In Canada's land I have ranged far and near
From the snows of the north to the mountains out west
And all round Toronto, the place I love best

Chorus:
And it's Oh, Yes, Ever
Ever more will I roam
I will see the world over
And always come home

To seek out adventure, and try a new life
And maybe, perhaps, even find me a wife
I went down to the docks at the close of the day
And found a container to stow me away

To be a wild rover, you've got to be smart
And sometimes it's best to let head rule the heart
I chose a container with food fit to eat
And beer fit for drinking, to make time pass sweet

The weeks of the journey were pleasant, though long
With dog food and beer, I sang many a song
I spent the whole journey in pure beastie bliss
Though others would say that I'd been on the …

The container was opened, the daylight streamed in
And then I tried hard my old freedom to win
They sought me with nets for an hour or two
And because I was drunk I just couldn't slip through

They caught me and caged me, I thought things were bad
They bathed me, and brushed me, I felt quite a lad
They told my whole story; I'm grinning with glee
My fame's now assured, for I've been on TV

Alas for this rover – I'm now in a zoo
And things have looked bad for the past week or two
But things can get better, as often in life
I've just heard the news that they've found me a wife

I'll hug her and squeeze her, and hope that we click
But if things don't work out, I hope her skin's thick
If zoo life gets boring, married life gets a chore
I'll off and I'll play the wild rover once more.

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