SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

What Happens When A Bird Brain . . .A part-time inventor who went for a woodland stroll to test out his latest contraption - a bird-feeding hat - suffered whiplash after he was knocked over by a hungry squirrel.  Mike Madden, 48, was walking through woods near his house in Huddersfield, northern England, when a large grey squirrel spied the nuts on a feeding tray mounted on top of his headgear.  The squirrel leaped from the top of a tree and landed with such force that Mr Madden was knocked to the ground and suffered whiplash injuries.  He said: "I was out walking through the woods with my friend Craig Bailey.  We had only just started the walk when 'kaboom' - I was on the floor.  I didn't see much of what happened, but Craig told me he saw the squirrel flying through the air and land right on my head."  Mr Madden designed the hat so birds could use it while he was walking because he was concerned about their winter food supplies.  He said: "Someone told me afterwards that with it coming up to winter and food being so short, squirrels can be quite aggressive and opportunistic.  I wish I had known that before.  I've always liked squirrels - but once you've had one land on your head travelling about 30 mph you can easily go off them."  Mr Madden says his bird feeder was destroyed in the assault and he has vowed not to build another.  . . . Meets A Bird Woman?  A woman found living up a tree in Italy told police she had been kicked out of her home by her husband.  The 41-year-old woman was arrested when she started throwing chestnuts at the policemen who spotted her.  Tania Dasilva told officers she had been kicked out of her house in Teramo after a quarrel with her husband.  She said she had "no intention whatsoever to leave the tree."  The woman, who would not say when she was kicked out of the house, started throwing chestnuts at the policeman after they asked her to come down.  She is currently being held at the local police station and has been charged with aggression.  Police say they haven't been able to find her husband yet.


As I Went Out In Wierdling Wood by Sigurd
(A cautionary tale to the tune of "The Darby Ram" or "The Liar"; Words by Bo Vandenberg, August 30 2002)

As I went out to Wierdling Wood upon a summers eve
You know I met the strangest folks you never would believe
I hesitate to tell you for you'll say I'm crackers too
But if you come to Wierdling Wood then you can see them too.

Chorus:
It's a lie, it's a lie and I know it isn't true
But if you come to Wierdling Wood then you can see them too.

A man who thinks the winter time is much to hard for birds
He built a hat to feed them with thats far to strange for words.
He thought the little dainty things might light upon his brow
But heavy hungry squirrels knocked his head off with a pow.

Chorus

There's women in the woods me boys 'ahiding from their men
Half way up the tallest tree, somewhere in the glen
But don't you try to talk them down, they're loopy as can be
They'll pelt you for your troubles boys with nuts and bits of tree!

Chorus

Sigurd he took up the task to catch himself a wife
He built the strongest hat me boys, you'll see in your whole life
He baited it with negligee and purty falderal
Took a walk by the tallest tree and hoped she'd take the fall.

Chorus

From up atop the tree me boys the hat looked mighty grand
She leaned out on the branches so that she could see the man.
The branch went crack and she fell whack a fearin' she would splat
And tumbling through the atmosphere she landed on the hat.

Moral -- slowly:
So here's the tale for every male that wants to find a mate
Don't seek above your station, for this truth I must relate.
For Love fell from the heavens but it stopped poor Sigurd's Breath
Another schmuck with rotten luck was brow beaten to death.

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