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The Song Challenge:   Who Left Uncle Harry In The Bushes? July 6, 2000 - Fort Worth, Texas: Maintenance worker John Truex was minding his own business as he walked the grounds of the Woodhill Apartments on Monday, when he spied an odd-looking wooden box under a bush. "He had no idea what it was," said the manager of the complex. "It looked like a little coffin."  Truex took the box to the apartment office to show the manager and other staff members what he found. Curious, the group opened the lid and discovered a sealed brass box inside. They couldn't open the brass box, and couldn't figure out what it was, so they called the police. Office r W.T. Byrnes arrived at the scene and was just as stumped by the 1-foot-long by 4-inch-wide box, which seemed to be missing a display plate. "I wasn't real sure what it was," Byrnes said. "I called funeral homes in the area and they said, 'Yes, we package things like that,' and I said, 'Eeeeyew!'"  "According to a couple of funeral homes," continued Officer Byrnes, "they take ashes, put them in a plastic bag with a label of who it is and then put them in a box that they seal up and then put in a display case." Byrnes turned the little box over to the Medical Examiner's Office; however, the staff members there declined to comment yesterday. The statement from spokeswoman Linda Anderson was, "As it stands right now, we don't have any information on it -- All we have is a box."  But the apartment manager has heard otherwise. "It's an urn of some sort," she said. "The medical examiner's office found out that it is a lady from Granbury, but they haven't contacted any relatives. But I'm sure when a person finds out that their relative was left here, we will be hearing from them . . . (but) you've got to wonder who would leave Uncle Harry under a bush . . . .". 

Where Has Uncle Harry Gone? by Naemanson 
(Tune:  When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again)

Naemanson's Comments:  I don't have time to do this.  Besides, I cannot think of a tune, gotta go... wait!  The glimmer of an idea... no time... must resist temptation... What the hell! 

Where has Uncle Harry gone? Hoo Roo Hoo Roo
Where has Uncle Harry gone? Hoo Roo Hoo Roo
He was sitting there on the mantle, dear
We looked around and he wasn't here!

Mary Claire, look under that chair
Harry has gone awa.

He loved to ramble the country o'er, Hoo Roo Hoo Roo
He loved to ramble the country o'er, Hoo Roo Hoo Roo
He'd step outside to take the air
Then he'd call from who knows where,

Check the closets all and in the hall,
Harry has gone awa.

I finally got him where I wanted him, Hoo Roo Hoo Roo
I finally got him where I wanted him, Hoo Roo Hoo Roo
I got him home no more to roam
No more to wander from his home

Oh please dear Claude look in the yard,
Harry has gone awa.

I don't know who I'd call for help, Hoo Roo Hoo Roo
I don't know who I'd call for help, Hoo Roo Hoo Roo
Missing persons or lost and found
My name will be mud throughout the town

I've checked the cellar and the attic too,
Harry has gone awa.

My name will be "mud" throughout the town, Hoo Roo Hoo Roo
My name will be "mud" throughout the town, Hoo Roo Hoo Roo
When alive he loved to ramble and roam,
Once dead I figured I'd keep him at home.

Look under the beds and out in the shed
Harry has gone awa.

The phone is ringing off the wall, Hoo Roo Hoo Roo
The phone is ringing off the wall, Hoo Roo Hoo Roo
They found him hiding the policemen say
Under a bush just yesterday,

I'll put a lock on his oblong box
Harry has gone awa.

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