SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

Here's a Challenge! idea sent in by JenEllen -- Gobbler's Gone For Good: Cemetery Turkey Is Laid To Rest - Death Is Not Due To Fowl Play -- (Spokane, WA) When a tom turkey strutted onto a cemetery just before Thanksgiving, people figured he was either a farm escapee trying to avoid ending up the centerpiece of a holiday dinner ir a wild bird just passing through.  But the bird that became known as Martin A Gobbler remained for good, and he hardly overstayed his welcome.  The turkey - eventually determined to be wild - took up residence for seven months, adding unsuspected levity to graveside services.  The gobbler also attracted gawkers who came to see him chase cars in the parkinglot and fend off the ducks who invaded what he considered his turf.  Martin died June 24th, and got a farewell fit for a creature far higher on the food chain.  The bird, believed to be around a year old, was found dead on the grounds with no obvious signs of trauma.  The memorial drew about 50 people and featured an altar, photo, and flowers with an attached note "Your gobble will be missed."  The turkey's cremated remains are stored in a small blue urn in the office of the funeral director while they plan to incorporate them into a monument featuring a bronze turkey statue placed near the office entrance.  The cemetery owner believes Martin's biggest burden in life was his apparent inability to find a mate.  Staff never saw a hen on the grounds, and Martin's flamboyant displays of strutting and pecking car tires were merely for human consumption.  "He didn't enjoy his life of celibacy at all" stated the groundskeeper  "He would get all fluffed up and parade around here like he owned the place.  He was trying to attract a mate and there were none to attract."


Village Poultry by Jack the Sailor
(Tune:  Cemetary)

Jack's Comments:  I have a slightly different take on why Martin A. Gobbler hung arount the cemetary and performed.  I think he had "an artistic bent."

Where can you find eternal peace
You don't have to sign a lease
Listen to a eulogy
Where can you hang around and have humans look at you
In nothin but you BVDs
Where can turkeys try to fly
Study Ornithology
Listen to the bagpipes play
Different funeral every day
Don't have to be thanksgiving meat

Cemetary
Yes, you can hang out as you please
Cemetary
Yes, you can find eternal peace
Cemetary
Come on now, people, you can sit down in the back
Cemetary, Cemetary
Can't you see all the people dressed in black
Cemetary
Come on, Its the place to make a den
Cemetary
Come on and show off for a hen
Cemetary
Come on Turkey, and strut again
Cemetary, Cemetary, Cemetary (Cemetary)

Attract a mate, attract a mate
So you won't have to Masterbate

They gave you a service
As you entered Poultry bliss
Giving you a chance to pass
Not on a plate
They did cremate
you are not a repast
Maybe you died young
but folks will say
That you were the funniest thing
they ever did see
In the cemetary
and the show was always free

Cemetary
Yes, you can hang out as you please
Cemetary
Yes, you can find eternal peace
Cemetary
Come on now, people, you can sit down in the back
Cemetary, Cemetary
Can't you see all the people dressed in black
Cemetary
Come on, Its the place to make a den
Cemetary
Come on and show off for a hen
Cemetary
Come on Turkey, and strut again
Cemetary, Cemetary, Cemetary (Cemetary)

Attract a mate, attract a mate
So you won't have to Masterbate

Who Martin?

Attract a mate, attract a mate
So you won't have to Masterbate

But, but but I'm afraid of female Turkeys.
Hey, hey look
Man, I get shy just watching the Butterball ads!

They want you, they want you in Cemetary

Oh my goodness.
What am I gonna do with a woman?

They want you, they want you, Cemetary

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