SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Here's the 'beastie bliss' as promised. This challenge idea was suggested by our own dear Bert. Go for it, Challenge!rs!!!   Vienna, May 9 - The illegal stowaway arrived in the Czech Republic with a nasty hangover and was apprehended by the authorities - but not without a fight. But instead of being sent back on the first ship out, he's become a star.  Meet Vaclav, the raccoon who survived for weeks on beer and dog food.   "He was one lucky raccoon," says Vladimir Thichor, head of the animal clinic in Pardubice. "If that consignment of beer had not been on board, he would not have lasted three days."   Vaclav - named by Czechs with a wink at their ex-dissident President Vaclav Havel, another great survivor - traveled in a container all the way from Canada to the East Bohemian town of Pardubice, deep in the provinces. He probably crept in for a free meal when the container was being loaded in Toronto. But when the door closed, he was trapped for more than three weeks.   Vaclav tore into the packs of dry dog-food, then looked for something to quench his thirst. Something told him to sink his sharp teeth into a six pack, and from that moment on, Vaclav was one happy puppy. So to speak.  As a result, when the container was opened, Vaclav did not want to come out: he had found beastie bliss. Two policemen specially trained in the capture of vicious animals were called in. Clad in protective suits and armed with gladiator nets, the team spent two hours trapping the rancorous raccoon, who fought them tooth and claw all the way to his allotted cage.  There, he sulked in a corner and slept it off, suffering the raccoon equivalent of cold turkey. Nor was he charmed when he was given a bath to wash the beer residue out of his matted coat.  Vaclav is now the darling of the Czech media. The Pardubice animal clinic's phone has been jammed with calls offering him a home. Director Thichor, however, was not moved by the outpouring of sentiment. "A raccoon is not a family pet," he said. "Vaclav will go to a zoo where everyone can come and see him - and where we will try to find him a mate."   Now if he could just get a television and a six pack ... 

Vaclaw Raccoon by Praise
(Tune:  Rocky Raccoon (with apologies to Lennon/McCartney))

Now somewhere in the wild backstreets of Toronto
There lived a young stud named Vaclaw Raccoon
And one day his raccoonness ran off with another guy
Hit young Vaclaw in the eye (Vaclaw didn't like that)
He said I'm gonna get that boy
So one day he walked to the wharf
Thought he'd book himself passage on their Love Boat....

Vaclaw Raccoon checked into his stateroom
Only to find Gideon's kibbles.
Vaclaw had come equipped with a gun
To shoot up the kegs of his rival
His rival it seems had broken his dreams
By stealing the girl of his fancy.
Her name was Magil and she called herself Lil
But everyone knew her as Nancy.
Now she and her man (who called himself Dan)
Were in the next crate at the stow-down.
Vaclaw burst in and grinning a grin
He said Danny boy this is a showdown.
But Daniel was hot--he drew first and shot
And Vaclaw collapsed in the corner.

Now Vladimir said "Here, what you did was drink too much beer! 
And snagged his prisoner from under the table.
He said, "Vaclaw, you met your match."
And Vaclaw said, "Vlad, it's only a scratch--
And I'll be better (I'll be better Vlad) as soon as I am able!"

Now Vaclaw Raccoon he kicks back in the zoo
Only will eat Gideon's kibbles
Gideon skipped out and he left it no doubt
To help with good Vaclaw's revival. 

And may God have mercy on us all. 

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