Two Lovely Hookers From Sweden by derrymacash


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Pair Of Pensioners May Be Punters, But They're Not Prudes! -- A pair of Norwegian pensioners robbed by two strippers say they don't mind because it's a long time since they had so much fun. Arne and Oystein Tokvam, aged 73 and 80, say they invited the women to their home after meeting in a shop. The women then did a striptease before saying they needed the toilet. When they failed to re-appear the brothers realised they'd been robbed of £4,600 cash. "It's too bad about the money, but we just have to take it with good humour," Arne told the Bergens Tidende newspaper. "We're looking at it as entertainment. Very expensive, but absolutely entertaining." Local police in the small mountain town of Flam in Sogn og Fjordane are taking the theft far more seriously than its two victims. They cordoned off a large area around the brothers' home and have warrants out for the two women.

Two Lovely Hookers From Sweden by derrymacash
(To the tune of "Three Lovely Lassies From Kimmage")

There were two lovely hookers from Sweden
From Sweden, from Sweden
If it's sexual healing you're needing
Sure I was the best of them all
Sure I was the best of them all

The phone rang and gamely I answered
I answered, I answered
"I hear that you are a lap dancer
I've organised a lap ball
I've organised a lap ball"

Myself and my partner called Heidi
Called Heidi, called Heidi
She's pretty and curvy and tidy
And stands about five foot six tall
And stands about five foot six tall

Two oul' fellas gave us some custom
Some custom, some custom
Our writhing it damn nearly bust 'em
And straight into bed they did crawl
And straight into bed they did crawl

They snored as they slipped into slumber
To slumber, to slumber
(Missed the trick I did with a cucumber!
That leaves all the prudies appalled
That leaves all the prudies appalled)

Wake up and pay us our billage
Our billage, our billage
Or else we will go on the pillage
And leave you with sweet bugger all
And leave you with sweet bugger all

The moral to this oul' narration
Narration, narration
Is that when you enjoy fornication
Don't fall asleep on the moll
Don't fall asleep on the moll