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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
The Song Challenge: I Want My Twinkie And I Want It Now! -- Biddeford, Maine, March 23 - Last week, panic began to spread through the Northwest United States as workers dumped loaves of bread off a loading dock during a strike at the Interstate Bakeries Corp.
Why the bother? This strike of truck drivers prevented the delivery of Wonder Bread and other products, such as Twinkies, across the Northwest US. Wonder Bread, as every good American child knows, is that wonderful, sweet, doughy white bread that one can either ingest or, with a little spit or milk, make funny molded shapes with.
When hardened, it makes fantastic projectiles for peashooters. Generations of American children grew up eating this bread, before the advent of wheat bread into a more health-conscious market.
But the real panic was due to the shortage of Twinkies - the one food product that has been guaranteed by experts to survive a nuclear blast.
An oblong, tan, mushy, cream-filled pastry so sweet that it has been known to rot teeth merely by being looked at, it is lusted after by all children and adults needing a quick sugar fix, and has been popular in the US for years, often imitated but never replaced in the soul of the country.
To the relief of these Twinkie-deprived folks, the eight-day strike ended last Thursday.
'Right now, it sounds like everyone is going to get their Twinkies.' said Robert Piccone, president of Teamsters Local 340.
Because of the strike, the company's Biddeford plant was shut down, putting 400 bakers out of work.
On the picket line in Biddeford, where the drivers had put up a banner that said "Fort Twinkie" at their tarp-covered shelter, a cheer was raised when they heard the news that the strike was
over .
The Twinkie Union Song by Amos
(Tune: Which Side Are You On -- Click to Play)
Come listen to my story
Come workers gather 'round,
Of how the loyal Union
Has brought the bosses down
Roll the Teamsters, roll!
Roll the Teamsters, roll!
The bosses would not care for you
Your needs they would not meet.
They cut your hard-earned pensions
To feed on sugary treats.
Roll, the Teamsters roll!
Roll, the Teamsters, roll!
Their children grow up ugly
Their faces lined with fat!
While yours go lean and hungry
What do you think of that?
Roll, the Teamsters roll!
Roll, the Teamsters, roll!
Their children lived on Wonder Bread
While yours survive on grain
So we turned to the Union,
Saying it's time to rise again.
Roll, the Teamsters roll!
Roll, the Teamsters, roll!
The masters of the IBC
They thought they had it all
But when the truckers went on strike
Their sales began to fall.
Roll, the Teamsters roll!
Roll, the Teamsters, roll!
Their twinkies and their cupcakes
The food of rotten souls
They stacked up on the loading docks
With mouldy bread and rolls!
Roll, the Teamsters roll!
Roll, the Teamsters, roll!
The bosses could not hack it
The bastards had to fold
When they saw on the picket line
The Local's flag unfold
Roll, the Teamsters roll!
Roll, the Teamsters, roll!
So if you need a living wage
You'll know just what to do!
Stand up behind the Union,
And you'll get Twinkies too!
Roll, the Teamsters roll!
Roll, the Teamsters, roll!