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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
Here's a Challenge! idea sent in by JenEllen -- Gobbler's Gone For Good: Cemetery Turkey Is Laid To Rest - Death Is Not Due To Fowl Play -- (Spokane, WA) When a tom turkey strutted onto a cemetery just before Thanksgiving, people figured he was either a farm escapee trying to avoid ending up the centerpiece of a holiday dinner ir a wild bird just passing through. But the bird that became known as Martin A Gobbler remained for good, and he hardly overstayed his welcome. The turkey - eventually determined to be wild - took up residence for seven months, adding unsuspected levity to graveside services. The gobbler also attracted gawkers who came to see him chase cars in the parkinglot and fend off the ducks who invaded what he considered his turf. Martin died June 24th, and got a farewell fit for a creature far higher on the food chain. The bird, believed to be around a year old, was found dead on the grounds with no obvious signs of trauma. The memorial drew about 50 people and featured an altar, photo, and flowers with an attached note "Your gobble will be missed." The turkey's cremated remains are stored in a small blue urn in the office of the funeral director while they plan to incorporate them into a monument featuring a bronze turkey statue placed near the office entrance. The cemetery owner believes Martin's biggest burden in life was his apparent inability to find a mate. Staff never saw a hen on the grounds, and Martin's flamboyant displays of strutting and pecking car tires were merely for human consumption. "He didn't enjoy his life of celibacy at all" stated the groundskeeper "He would get all fluffed up and parade around here like he owned the place. He was trying to attract a mate and there were none to attract."
Turkey Is Gone For A Sculpture by Philibuster
(Tune: Johnny Has Gone For A Soldier)
His feathers were black,
His balls were blue,
His build was stout,
His peck was cruel!
Ne'er found he a hen for to screw, oh
Turkey is gone for a sculpture.
Chorus:
Strut, strut, strut my bird,
Only sex could ease his woe,
But he never had a love,
Our hero birdy beau,
Turkey is gone for a sculpture.
He'd scratch the cars,
And peck their wheels,
He'd chase the mourners,
And bite their heels!
He barely escaped being some farmers meal,
Turkey is gone for a sculpture.
Our birdy boy died
Not long ago,
Some claim of old age,
But I say it's not so.
'Twas of a sad heart creased by cupid's arrow,
Turkey is gone for a sculpture.
(Break: Turkey In The Straw in Dorian mode)
Final Chorus:
Strut, strut, strut, my bird
You died knowing only the graveyard crows
Oh, Your gobble is sorrly missed
Fresh tears now flow!
Turkey is gone for a scultpure.