SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

Here's a Challenge! idea sent in by JenEllen -- Gobbler's Gone For Good: Cemetery Turkey Is Laid To Rest - Death Is Not Due To Fowl Play -- (Spokane, WA) When a tom turkey strutted onto a cemetery just before Thanksgiving, people figured he was either a farm escapee trying to avoid ending up the centerpiece of a holiday dinner ir a wild bird just passing through.  But the bird that became known as Martin A Gobbler remained for good, and he hardly overstayed his welcome.  The turkey - eventually determined to be wild - took up residence for seven months, adding unsuspected levity to graveside services.  The gobbler also attracted gawkers who came to see him chase cars in the parkinglot and fend off the ducks who invaded what he considered his turf.  Martin died June 24th, and got a farewell fit for a creature far higher on the food chain.  The bird, believed to be around a year old, was found dead on the grounds with no obvious signs of trauma.  The memorial drew about 50 people and featured an altar, photo, and flowers with an attached note "Your gobble will be missed."  The turkey's cremated remains are stored in a small blue urn in the office of the funeral director while they plan to incorporate them into a monument featuring a bronze turkey statue placed near the office entrance.  The cemetery owner believes Martin's biggest burden in life was his apparent inability to find a mate.  Staff never saw a hen on the grounds, and Martin's flamboyant displays of strutting and pecking car tires were merely for human consumption.  "He didn't enjoy his life of celibacy at all" stated the groundskeeper  "He would get all fluffed up and parade around here like he owned the place.  He was trying to attract a mate and there were none to attract."


Turkey in Spokane by Clifton53
(Tune:  Christmas in Prison by John Prine)

A turkey, in Spokane, and this turf is my own
Still struttin' my stuff, but I'm here all alone
How I got here, don't matter, I'm a victim of fate
Can't find no females, and baby I need to mate

Chorus:
Wait a while eternity
A hen for Thanksgiving would be fine with me
Fluffin' and puffin' and carryin' on
Ain't done me no good, my love life is gone

The leaves, fall gently,here on this park ground
There's plenty of humans,but no birds around
Still tryin', and cryin', what for I don't know
It's obvious sister, my time's come to go

Chorus

I'm healthy, I'm virile, and man I'm so young
Got a big bright red wattle, and man am I hung
But lonely, and loveless, well it can't be no good
Just sittin' here pinin', with my mornin' wood

Chorus

Well the people, all happy, go scuttlin' home
No thoughts for a turkey, with no place to roam
I'm a turkey, in Spokane, and baby it's cold
No future for me, I'll never get old

Chorus

Ain't nothin',that's bleaker, than a life spent in pain
And there ain't nothin' colder, than Northwestern rain
A turkey, in Spokane, it's time to depart
"He died in his prime, from a big busted heart"

Chorus

Back to Top