SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   This Challenge! was sent in by Mudcatter Jeri a while back and should definitely be considered an "urban legend" (as in, don't believe everything you read *BG*).   TOKYO (AP) The recent craze for hydrogen beer is at the heart of a three way lawsuit between unemployed stockbroker Toshira Otoma, the Tike-Take karaoke bar and the Asaka Beer Corporation. Mr Otoma is suing the bar and the brewery for selling toxic substances and is claiming damages for grievous bodily harm leading to the loss of his job. The bar is countersuing for defamation and loss of customers.  The Asaka Beer corporation brews "Suiso" brand beer, where the carbon dioxide normally used to add fizz has been replaced by the more environmentally friendly hydrogen gas. A side effect of this has made the beer extremely popular at karaoke sing-along bars and discotheques.   Because hydrogen molecules are lighter than air, individuals whose lungs are filled with the nontoxic gas can speak with an uncharacteristically high voice, giving chic Tokyo urbanites the ability to sing soprano parts on karaoke sing-along machines after consuming a big gulp of Suiso beer. The flammable nature of hydrogen has also become another selling point, even though the beer company has not acknowledged that this was a deliberate marketing ploy.  It has inspired a new fashion of blowing flames from one's mouth using a cigarette as an ignition source. Many new karaoke videos feature singers shooting blue flames in slow motion, while flame contests take place in pubs everywhere.   "Mr Otoma drank fifteen bottles of hydrogen beer in order to maximise the size of the flames he could belch during the contest. He catapulted balls of fire across the room that Gojira would be proud of, but this was not enough to win him first prize since the judgement is made on the quality of the flames and that of the singing, and after fifteen bottles of lager he was badly out of tune," said Mr Takashi Nomura, Manager of the Tike-Take bar.   Mr. Otoma apparently took exception to the result and hurled blue fireballs at the judge, singeing the front of one customer's hair, entirely removing her eyebrows and lashes. When the club's security staff showed up, he turned his attentions to them, giving the head bouncer no choice but to tackle Mr Otoma, knocking his legs from under him.  Said the club's manager, "It was his own fault he had his mouth open for the next belch, his own fault he held a lighted cigarette in front of it and it is own fault he swallowed that cigarette . . . The Tike-Take bar takes no responsibility for the subsequent internal combustion, rupture of his stomach lining, nor the third degree burns to his oesophagus, larynx and sinuses as the exploding gases forced their way out of his body. His consequential muteness and loss of employment are his own fault."   Mr. Otoma was unavailable for comment.

The Tokyo Rover by McGrath of Harlow
(Tune:  The Wild Rover)

McGrath's Comments:  Sure, it's an urban legend. But the question is - would it work? Most beer in kegs, they use Carbon Dioxide, which buggers it up; Guinness they use Nitrogen, which is not so bad. Someone must have tried a few other gasses - so what happpened?  Thread drift I grant you - but I put in two songs, so I feel entitled to drift a bit. And while I'm about it, here's a third.


I went up to the bar 
of this pub in Japan
and I asked the landlady,
"Put a drink in me hand".
And she gave me a bottle 
and it tasted OK
then I lit a cigar,
and me world blew away.
And it's no, no never,
no, no never no more
I never will drink 
in that Tike-Tak bar.

I reached for me pocket,
but me pants were alight,
and the landlady's eyes
opened wide at the sight.
And she says "You'll quit drinkin
if you've got any sense
with a customer like you
I will gladly dispense".

And it's no, no never,
no, no never no more
I never will drink 
in that Tike-Tak bar.

I'll go home to my parents,
me Dad and me Mum,
and I'll ask them to bandage
my poor injured thumb.
And when they have done so,
I might have the odd jar,
but I'll never more drink 
in that Tike-Tak bar.
And it's no, no never,
no, no never no more
I never will drink 
in that Tike-Tak bar.

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