This Racin's A Wonderful Sight by derrymacash


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Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

Brit Flits Nix Knicks! London (August 2001) -- Female athletes competing for Britain in the World Championships say their official team knickers are too skimpy. The runners are worried they will be flashing their bottoms at spectators. Officials say they don't want athletes to feel uncomfortable and have allowed them to wear last year's Olympic kit. Kathy Butler, who is competing in the 5000m at the championships in Canada, says the small knickers have left athletes with a dilemma. "If you pull them up you can see your bum and when you pull them down you can see your hips. They just don't fit properly," she said. She added: "I can't find my old Olympic ones, so I'll be wearing the hipsters." A spokesman for UK Athletics said that officials have given the all-clear for runners to wear last year's design. "Something had to be done. We can't ask our top athletes to run 25 laps wearing something they feel uncomfortable in," he said.

This Racin's A Wonderful Sight by derrymacash
(I don't think you're going to be getting 20+ entries from me this go-round. But you're welcome to whatever emerges! This is a skit on one of Percy French's better known songs …)

Oh Mary this racin's a wonderful sight
These lassies wear gear that is ever so tight
Whenever they're out for a run roun' the track
Their runnin' shorts near disappear up their crack
The 400 metres, the sprint or the mile
I don't watch the race, I'm transfixed by the style
Of those lycra-clad lassies I watch on TV
From the place where the dark Mournes sweep down to the sea

They strain at the blocks with their arse in the air
And I can't tear my eyes of their taut derrieres
The local girls' hips are all tweedy and wide
Not like those young athletes' slender backsides
I got satellite now and I neave l'ave home
I've no rayson to wander, no rayson to roam
They beam in those young honeys from morning till eve
To the place where the dark Mournes sweep down to the sea

Oh by Jesus above I'm very impressed
With the way those athletic young ladies are dressed
And me an oul' lech with a wanderin' eye
With a taste for a quick flash of rump or of thigh
It's better than Playboy or one of those mags
Where the hussies strip off and then striddle their legs
It's a cause for confession, oh Mary mo chroi
In this place where the dark Mournes sweep down to the sea