SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, But Rita Got Returned To Wal-Mart OMAHA, Nebraska (Reuters) - A Nebraska woman who received an ornate box for Christmas and returned it to Wal-Mart without looking inside discovered later it contained the ashes of her recently deceased sister, a newspaper reported on Friday.  Judy Money received the box as a gift from her brother who lives in Iowa.  But after unwrapping the package on Christmas Eve she saw the box had a broken knob and decided to return it to Wal-Mart without ever looking at the contents inside, the Omaha World-Herald reported.  When Money later confessed to her brother that she had returned his gift, he told her the box contained the ashes of their sister, who had died Dec. 11, the Herald said.  Marvin Tippery, Money's brother, told the Herald he was shocked when he found out she had returned the box.  "No, no, you didn't! Your sister was in there," the Herald quoted him as telling Money.  Money told the Herald she made a mad dash back to Wal-Mart, but the box had already been thrown out with the trash.  Money and her brother finally found the box on Thursday amid trash piles at an area landfill.  "My prayers have been answered," she told the Herald.  "Just the thought of having her in the dump was awful."


This Family Can Just Shove It! by Deda
(Tune:  Johnny Paycheck's 'Take This Job and Shove It)

Deda's Comments:  Took me too long, I know, but better late than . . . As a grammar nerd I hate to hear people turning nouns into verbs – but for lyrics it's a handy little gimmick.

CHORUS:
This family can just shove it
I ain't sibling here no more
When I was a kid my own mom forgot me
At the grocery store
When she came and got me all the other kids
Tried to push me out the car door
This family can just shove it
I ain't sibling here no more

I'd been relativing in this family
For most of fifty years
Spent ninety percent of my childhood
Burstin' into tears
Even after I up and died
I don't get no respect
Think I'll try to pay back their hides
From down here in heck!

This family can just shove it
I ain't sibling here no more
My sacred ashes got returned unopened
To the corner Wal-Mart store
But my brother yelled, "No, no, you didn't!
Your sister was in there!"
This family can just shove it
I ain't sibling here no more

(Chorus)

Sister Judy is fancy-ass long-nose snob
Brother Marvin is a dope
They had to scramble around the city dump
I was laughing fit to choke!
One of these days I'm gonna rattle my chains
And hoot and howl and shriek
And scare their sorry backsides
To the middle of next week

(Chorus)

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