The Weavers? by Clifton53


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The Song Challenge: The Day That Saji's Sari Slipped and Baji's Bobbin Got Buffed . . . India's health minister has banned the use of condoms to lubricate bobbins used in weaving saris. CP Thakur has told parliament sari makers are using condoms to speed up weaving because condom lubricant was also good at stopping yarn from snapping. Mr. Thakur claims the use of so many condoms in the sari industry is affecting India's population control programme. "Instructions have been issued to stop this practice," Mr Thakur said. Mr Thakur says the use of condoms in weaving is causing shortages and instances of unscrupulous government health workers meant to distribute free condoms to contain population instead selling the condoms to sari makers. Workers rub the condoms on bobbins while they make their brocade saris. The industry is using an estimated half a million condoms every day. Each of the 125,000 looms in the city of Varanasi uses an average four condoms per day. It takes nearly 15 condoms to produce one Benarasi sari. The lubricant on the condom smoothens the bobbin and makes it move faster between threads..

The Weavers? by Clifton53

We are all met together here to sit and to clack
We have yarn upon the loom and condoms on the rack
Just rub one on your bobbin and your bloody yarn won't snap
That's what it takes for the weavers

If it was not for the condoms, what would we do?
We could'nt weave a sari, there'd be very few
We'd hear the cries from Bombay
And from 'ol Calcutta too
If it weren't for the work of the weavers.

Now weavin' is a trade that keeps the people clad
And a shortage of saris would indeed be very bad
And the loons up in the Punjab
Well they'd be very sad
And they'd be kinda' pissed at the weavers

If it was not for the condoms, what would we do?
Without the lubricant you can't run a freakin loom
The folks all down in Dakar
Would surely feel the gloom
If it weren't for the work of the weavers

The ruling body came and said this practice must desist
We are but humble weavers, how can we resist?
But I'll go to my grave with a condom in my fist
And I'll be glorified by the weavers

If it was not for the condoms, a half a mil a day,
Weavin fancy saris would offer little pay
The sacred cows of government should surely go away
And leave the weavin' up to the weavers.