SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Lost your 'Olympic' spirit? Here's a little story that should help to inspire all of us to 'go for the gold' . . . So, Go For It Challenge!rs!!   Thirty contestants from around the globe recently gathered in London for the second annual round of the Official World Dung Spitting Championships. CNN's Amanda Kibel was there to witness the 'action':   "It might not be the most physically demanding sport in the world, but mentally, it's a real challenge. All you need, say competitors, is a good lung capacity, limber lips, a strong mind and stomach, and a prime pellet of animal dung. The aim of the game is simple: overcome the resistance to placing the dung in your mouth and then, spit it out.   The all-important dung selection is first, and the competition was fierce for pieces of the finest droppings, gathered on a game farm in Africa, yielded by the Kudu, a small deer-like animal. And clearly, not just any old dung will do. A worthy pellet must be firm, not crumbly, and preferably, not too fresh.   As the first training session unfolded, interest from some passersby was high, but controversy dogged this competition from the start. One woman passerby commented, "You're spitting! And there's a rule about spitting in this country.  There is, there's a bylaw about spitting."   The games must go on. Competition day dawned, and competitors embarked on the vital warm-ups (gulping large portions of golden ale and dark stout). Mouths well lubricated, they spit their best, but in the end, it's a sudden-death playoff.   The Dungmeister, the reigning champion, the man who, in the past, has spat a mighty ten meters, faces off against an unknown, a rank outsider! A new champion is born, and he pays tribute to his technique: "I use the little pointed end (of the dung) towards the back. That seems to work."   But it takes more than just technique. Dung spitters say that what it's really all about is a simple case of mind over waste matter."

The Shit Spitting Game by Amergin
(Tune: Patriot Game)

Come all ye young spitters, and list while I sing,
For the love of animal dung is a terrible thing.
It banishes women with the speed of a flame,
And it makes us all part of the shit spitting game.

My name it is Irvan, and I've just gone sixteen.
My home is in Texas, and where I was weaned
I learned all my life the kudu's to blame,
So now I am part of the shit spitting game.

This contest of ours has too long been half free.
The title lies under Dungmeister's tyranny.
So I gave up my boyhood to drill and to train
To play my own part in the shit spitting game.

They told me how Old Áine spat from her chair,
Her mouth from the spitting was stinking with care.
Her old body twisted, ahanging with shame
They soon made me part of the shit spitting game.

It's nearly two years since I wandered away
To represent my country, the good old USA,
For I read of our heroes, and wanted the same
To play out my part in the shit spitting game.

And now as I stand here, I watch the turd fly
It went only two meters, I wanted to die
And I wish that big mouth had given the same
To the bastard who won all the shit spitting games.

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