The Peacock's Lament by Hawker


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Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

The (Unofficial) Song Challenge: From Amos -- The Off-Beat News feature of Netscape Central offers this tidbit from jolly England, where the unusual is to be expected: (Sunday, Feb. 4, 2001) Lovelorn Peacocks Terrorize British Villagers -- LONDON (Reuters) - Flocks of feral peacocks are terrorizing villages across Britain in a desperate but futile search for mates, the Sunday Times reported. The lovelorn peacocks have descended on rural communities, chasing children and destroying vegetable patches in a vain search for peahens to mate with, the paper said. "Because the hens nest on the ground, they are being eaten by foxes, which means there are not enough to go around," peacock breeder Quinton Spratt told the paper. Peacocks are not known for their monogamous habits. Each male bird requires at least five hens to mate with. The birds are believed to be fugitives from stately homes where they have become popular attractions because of their colorful plumage and fan-shaped tails.

The Peacock's Lament by Hawker
(To the tune of "The Salt")

I am a lonely old peacock
Peahens are the bane of my life
I used to love seven fine beauties
But now, I can't find me a wife!

I mounted a mouldy old cabbage
As she sat so serene in her bed
But no eggs did she lay to succeed me...
She bolted and flowered instead!

Yes, I am a lonely onld peacock
I just cannot find me a mate!
I thought that I'd found me a partner
When I made love to a wrought Iron gate

But she slammed in me face and she spurned me!
The fruits of my loins! what a waste!
So I next tried it on with a gorse bush....
Well they say there's no 'counting for taste!

But still I'm a lonely old peacock
No peahens to fill my desire
Then I saw her there in the garden
The flame in my heart turned to FIRE!!

So I mounted the Red Mini Metro
Though she tried to escape, I held fast
And all of the people stood staring
As the two of us went flying past!

Still, a lonely old peacock, I'm wasted.
Shagged out, I've lost all of me drive...
Not so that Red Mini Metro...
I'm lucky to still be alive!

I've chased after children and women
I've chased after kittens and cats
Made a loving advance to a posh hat from France
And two scratchy coconut mats

Now a lonely old peacock, I'm done for!
No more will I wander and wait
I've decided to be ...a clean living bird
And be happy though I'm celibate!

(for those of you who don't know.... a Mini Metro is a car) -- Lucy