The Lifter by Steal Miller (aka Jack the Sailor)


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The Song Challenge: Whoa, HOT PANTS! Good Lawd, That's Where It's At! -- Colorado Springs, Colorado, Jun 27, 2001 -- If you're thinking about going to the mall in that snappy aluminum-lined underwear in the back of your dresser drawer, think again. Beginning Sunday, it will be illegal in Colorado to wear aluminum underwear. OK, there's a caveat. You can wear aluminum briefs and lingerie as long as it's for personal amusement - but not if it is to help steal by foiling stores' anti-shoplifting devices. The new law is no laughing matter ... really. "This is serious business," said Sen. Stephanie Takis, one of the bill's sponsors. "We have laws against using crowbars as theft devices, but if you were lining your underwear with aluminum foil, that was not a crime." And by golly, said Takis, it should be. She cited several Denver-area malls that have caught shoplifters with aluminum-lined shopping bags and even the so-called "iron pants" and could do nothing to stop it. Steve Miller, an attorney who helped draft the bill: "I don't know if it was the highlight of my career, but I got the assignment." Miller said the bill went through several evolutions - "or devolutions depending on your viewpoint" - before it received Gov. Bill Owens' approval. Essentially, it makes it a misdemeanor to make, wear or know others are wearing aluminum underwear if they intend to use it to fool stores' theft-protection devices. Those devices electronically sense when merchandise leaving the store hasn't been handled by a cashier, and foil can interfere with that detection. Miller said the new law also gives store employees civil and criminal immunity if they stop shoppers who crackle when they walk.

The Lifter by Steal Miller (aka Jack the Sailor)

Some people call me the space cadet, yeah
Some say I'm a man among men
Some people call the police
Cause I wear underwear of tin

Judge is talkin to me baby
Say I'm doin' wrong, doin' wrong
Well, don't you worry baby
Don't worry
Cause I'm wearin foil and I'm hung

Cause I'm a lifter
I'm a shifter
I'm a shiner
And I'm a grifter
I put my music in my pants

I'm a stealer
I'm a squealer
I'm a Tin Foil feeler
When there's static I sure dance

Cause I'm a lifter
I'm a shifter
I'm a shiner
And I'm a grifter
I put my music in my pants

I'm a stealer
I'm a squealer
I'm a Tin Foil feeler
In my skivvies I will prance
Wooo Wooooo

You're the sweetest thing
That I ever did taste
I really love your wrapping
Want to foil your face
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Ooo-eee baby, I'll sure show you a good time

Cause I'm a lifter
I'm a shifter
I'm a shiner
And I'm a grifter
I put my music in my pants

I'm a stealer
I'm a squealer
I'm a Tin Foil feeler
When there's static I sure dance

Cause I'm a lifter
I'm a shifter
I'm a shiner
And I'm a grifter
I put my music in my pants

I'm a stealer
I'm a squealer
I'm a Tin Foil feeler
In my skivvies I will prance
Wooo Wooooo

Judge is talkin to me baby
Say I'm doin' wrong, doin' wrong
Well, don't you worry baby
Don't worry
Cause I'm wearin, wearin foil and I'm hung

You're the sweetest thing
That I ever did taste
I really love your wrapping
Want to foil your face
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Ooo-eee baby, I'll sure show you a good time