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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
The Song Challenge:
Chicken Of The Living Dead? -- Kay Martin, a secretary to a New Zealand MP, got the fright of her life a few weeks ago.
According to the Auckland Sunday Star, she and a friend were chatting over a drink when they heard a chicken squawking.
The bird sounded in some distress, so they went outside to investigate, thinking perhaps that it had escaped from one of the
neighbors. But, there were no chickens anywhere. Then Martin realized with horror that the sound was coming
from her own kitchen - coming, in fact, from the oven, where she had put a chicken in to roast half an hour earlier.
"It was as if it was shrieking at me from its grave," she says. "It was so bizarre I just froze." As they
approached the oven, the squawking reached a crescendo. They took the tray out, and as the chicken began to cool,
the squawking died away. Martin chopped the neck off and threw it in the sink. She noticed that the vocal
chords were intact. "Steam was coming up the neck from the stuffing," says Martin, and this had caused the dead bird
to squawk. She has not cooked chicken since. P.S. TO ALL CHALLENGE!RS: If any of you are looking to qualify for the 'Two-Fer' Award (or better), check out SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8, Part 22, and Part 42 on the Song Challenge!s Past page, and see how you can work this Challenge! and one or more of these past hoo-haws into a song . . . It's a Double Dawg Dare, so ya can't turn it down! '-) -- Á.
The Lavender Broiler by Amos
(Tune: Lavender Cowboy)
It was only a Lavender Broiler
The legs on its carcass were two
I got it on special at Casey's
Marked down because of its hue
Tweedledee, tweedledeedledeedum, deedledum!
And after I had turned up the oven
And after I'd cleaned up the sink
I sat down beside my sweet husband
To share a pre-prandial drink!
Tweedledee, tweedledeedledeedum, deedledum!
But soon a mysterious whimper
Which gradually turned to a squawk
Began interrupting our whispers,
So loud that we scarcely could talk
Tweedledee, tweedledeedledeedum, deedledum!
At first a looked 'round, all bemused
For the source of the sound we had heard.
But imagine my fright and confusion,
When I realized the source was that bird!!
Tweedledee, tweedledeedle deedum, deedledum!
The hairs on my neck they were rigid!
My heart was a flutter with fright!
And though I have never been frigid,
I quickly lost all appetite!
Tweedledee, tweedledeedle deedum, deedledum!
The chicken was weeping and squawking
That chicken was humming a dirge
And in spite of our amourous talking
We both seem to have lost the urge!
Tweedledee, tweedledeedle deedum, deedledum!
We buried it out in the back yard
And threw the sod over its head
But thanks to that beast from the barnyard
We ain't doin' nothin' in bed!
Tweedledee, tweedledeedle deedum, deedledum!
Oh ladies of passion, take warnin'
And think about what I have done!
Don't buy you no lavender chicken --
He'll talk you right outta your fun!
Tweedledee, tweedledeedle deedum, deedledum!