The Highland Boys by derrymacash


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Naughty Naturalists Nabbed in Night-Vision Nasty –– A couple at a lakeland holiday park were caught naked on cameras meant to monitor the movements of badgers. The pair ventured into the snowy woods at the Oasis Village, near Penrith in Cumbria. Their romp was beamed into every hotel bedroom on a special channel trained on the badger set. The night-vision camera caught the couple in the early hours of the morning. The woman kept her bobble hat on, reports the News of the World. The pair stopped when they heard a sound and quickly put their clothes on before being chased by a security guard with a torch. The identity of the couple has not been revealed.

The Highland Boys by derrymacash
(A parody of "The Rambling Siúler" from Planxty's "After The Break")

Oh, the Highland boys are headed south, we've crossed near sweet Carlisle
And we're in need of a few stiff drinks after travelling many's the mile
And so to the town of famed Penrith, the Highland boys repaired forthwith
Our progress fast, our progress swift as befits all rambling siúlers

We wound up in all sorts of bars, in all sorts of seedy places
Until at last we chanced upon the country club "Oasis"
"This looks like the sort of spot, a man could enjoy a decent shot
Of beer that's cold and whiskey hot, to soothe the rambling siúler"

And when at last the round was got, we were seated by the fire
The serving lassie caught my eye, her form I did admire
"Young lady fair, you've caught my eye; I do not wish to prod or pry
But would you wish tonight to lie with this young rambling siúler"

The other lads to giggling fell, that I should be so bold
And thinking that the serving-lass would treat me mean and cold
But oh, their looks of great surprise, when the serving-lassie flashed her eyes
And said "Oh yes. That would be nice. Let's go, young rambling siúler!"

And so we two did disappear into the trees and bushes
And all night long upon her neck I planted kisses luscious
And all night long her bobble bobbed, and in the morning my friends mobbed
"Good man, you did a lovely job. God bless all rambling siúlers."