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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
The Song Challenge:
Chicken Of The Living Dead? -- Kay Martin, a secretary to a New Zealand MP, got the fright of her life a few weeks ago.
According to the Auckland Sunday Star, she and a friend were chatting over a drink when they heard a chicken squawking.
The bird sounded in some distress, so they went outside to investigate, thinking perhaps that it had escaped from one of the
neighbors. But, there were no chickens anywhere. Then Martin realized with horror that the sound was coming
from her own kitchen - coming, in fact, from the oven, where she had put a chicken in to roast half an hour earlier.
"It was as if it was shrieking at me from its grave," she says. "It was so bizarre I just froze." As they
approached the oven, the squawking reached a crescendo. They took the tray out, and as the chicken began to cool,
the squawking died away. Martin chopped the neck off and threw it in the sink. She noticed that the vocal
chords were intact. "Steam was coming up the neck from the stuffing," says Martin, and this had caused the dead bird
to squawk. She has not cooked chicken since. P.S. TO ALL CHALLENGE!RS: If any of you are looking to qualify for the 'Two-Fer' Award (or better), check out SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8, Part 22, and Part 42 on the Song Challenge!s Past page, and see how you can work this Challenge! and one or more of these past hoo-haws into a song . . . It's a Double Dawg Dare, so ya can't turn it down! '-) -- Á.
The Devil Went to New Zealand by SharonA
(Tune: "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by Charlie Daniels)
The devil went to New Zealand.
He was lookin' for a chick to fry.
He was in a mess; he needed cooks to dress
Hens to grill for that Elvis guy.
When he came across this woman
Fiddlin' with an oven and makin' it hot
And he sat down there on her kitchen chair
And said, "Girl, lemme tell you what:
"I guess I didn't show it, but I'm a chick-fillet-er, too
And if it's jake, let's shake and bake — you'll take a dare, won't you?
Now you roast a pretty good pullet, girl
But I'm the devil, of course.
I'll bet this Pyrex of glass against your ass
That my bird tastes better than yours."
The woman said, "My name's Kay
And it might be you're bad
But I'll take your dare; you'd better beware
'Cuz mine's the best you've ever had."
Kay, go grease your roastin' pan
And baste your chicken wet
'Cuz hell's broke loose in Auckland
And the devil cheats his bet.
And if you win, you get this sparklin' Pyrex made of glass
But if you lose, the devil gets your ass.
(Chicken-neck solo)
The devil plucked himself a hen
And said, "This bake-off starts!"
And fire flew out of his behind
As he heated up his farts.
And he put his hen in back of him
And he drank some Jap'nese beer.
Then he cooked with gas and burned the hen
It was music to his rear:
Devil solo: "Phlphlphlphlphl-whoosh-crackle"
When the devil served it up, Kay said,
"Well, it's pretty good, old fart
But sit down there in that kitchen chair
And let me make a work of art!"
Fire in the oven — done well done
The devil's in the house of the risin' bun
Chicken in the roast pan, pickin up steam
Lady, does your hen fright? Scream, chick, scream
Kay's chicken solo: "Bukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccck!"
The devil took a bite, and then he knew what heaven was.
He laid that Pyrex on the floor at Kay's house-slipper fuzz.
Kay replied, "Devil, just come on in
If you ever want to fry a thing;
If it's poultry once, it's poultry again —
Mine's the best that ever sing!!"
And she made fire in the oven — done well done
The devil's in the house of the risin' bun
Chicken in the roast pan, pickin up steam
Lady, does your hen fright? Scream, chick, scream
Kay's chicken fade-out: "Bukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......"