SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   The Case of the Crazed Cookie Crusher -- (Yardley, Pennsylvania) For three years the managers in the three supermarkets kept finding shelves of crumbled cookies and smashed loaves of bread.  A cookie company finally installed a hidden camera turned on the cookie aisle at a Giant supermarket.  That led to the arrest and conviction of Samuel Feldman, 37, on charges of disorderly conduct and criminal mischief, and a fine of $1,000.  Both prosecutors and defense attorneys appeared in court with bags of sweet-smelling evidence. The prosecution with bruised buns and crushed cookies, and the defense with unmangled goodies used to demonstrate their client's squeezing technique.  Although Mr. Feldman claimed his innocence, saying 'I squeeze bread when I go to the store, but I don't get arrested for it," the judge said that the 18-hour videotape clearly showed Feldman "manipulating bread and cookies" and "acting suspiciously around the baked goods."  A local reporter commented that the videotape showed Mr. Feldman waiting until his wife's back was turned, and only then would he begin bashing the bread.  "He apparently loved to stick his thumbs in the middle of the fruit-filled cookies.  The impressions were so distinct, the police were able to use them to lift his fingerprints."   Judge Heckler has postponed the sentencing hearing to give Mr. Feldman, who now lives in Las Vegas, time to find "a mental health professional who is familiar with bread-related compulsive behavior."  Meanwhile, the bread and cookie distributors still want their dough, and are planning to sue Mr. Feldman in civil court to recover $8,000, the amount of baked goods they claim that he vandalized over the three year period.

The Cookie Crusher Strikes Again by McGrath of Harlow

I can't help, my fingers tingle, 
I don't know where this will end;
in the crowded shops I mingle,
no-one know what I intend.
Oh what fierce and deep revulsion!
See, I wear the mark of Cain.
what a strange and sweet compulsion. 
"The cookie crusher strikes again."

Twisting loaves, I show no pity,
fingers clenched, I tear and rend.
Panic runs throughout the city,
like a phantom I descend.
Oh what dark mysterious notions
run within this fevered brain,
acting out my dread devotions
"The cookie crusher strikes again."

Hear my words now - when I've spoken
time for you to turn away.
Like the loaves that I have broken,
I was touched upon that day.
Supermarket, super budget
wrapped and packed in cellophane
You can look, but if you touch it 
"The cookie crusher strikes again!"

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