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The Song Challenge:   But I Want To Get To Know You . . . (Hove, East Sussex, England)  A lapdancing club has applied to the local council for a variance to its licence to allow blind patrons to touch performers.   The Pussycats Club in Hove complained that the strict no touching clause in its current licence discriminates against the blind.  Kenneth McGrath, director of the club, took up the issue with Brighton and Hove council after two blind men visited Pussycats with a stag party of sighted friends.   They wanted to touch the girls, explaining that, if they could, it would give them a better idea of what the exotic dancers looked like.  The club's licence forbids any physical contact between dancers and guests except when customers feel the need to place banknotes in the dancer's garters.   Mr. McGrath said: "Both men said they very much enjoyed the dances and sensed highly the proximity of the dancers and, in particular, enjoyed the smell of their perfume.  Given their disability, they felt controlled touching ought to be permitted for registered blind persons only and with the dancer's consent (and) that touching should be voluntary and restricted to the breasts and only when the dancer is wearing a bra and not topless.  The dancer would retain full control, taking one hand of the blind customer and placing it on her breasts while dancing for an agreed time."   A council spokesman said:  "We would consider any application for a variance of the lapdancing licence once we receive it." 

The Ballad Of Sal The Blind Man's Pal by Dharmabum

Sit down and a tale I will tell you,
About a night at the Pussycat Club,
Where the dancing's exotic,
Tho it soon turned erotic,
When some blind men played fondle & rub.

The Cat was well known for their dancing,
The usual bump and the grind,
And the girls were quite willing,
For a banknote or shilling,
To show off a little behind.

Now Sal was a girl of compassion,
Clearly the favorite lass,
She was very big busted,
And quite well adjusted,
For a girl that was showing her ass.

This night Sal was dancing as usual,
A lapdance, A wiggle, A shake,
She moved through the crowd,
Where no touching's allowed,
It's the law here, so make no mistake.

Then she saw them there in the corner,
Two men with no vision or sight,
She felt it her duty,
That they share in her booty,
She must turn this injustice to right.

As she sauntered so slowly on towards them,
Her attributes swayed in the breeze,
And she knew that tonight,
She would make it alright,
And give them a special striptease.

Then she took each gent by the hand,
And she placed them close to her heart,
Though their digits were freezing,
She could tell she was pleasing,
By the rise from their private part.

Now Sal & her boss went to council,
Said these laws are outdated, appeal'um,
Change the laws in the book,
For the men that can't look,
Even though they can't see they can feel'um.

Now word spread of Sal's selfless gesture,
Some say sainthood can't be far behind,
And they're all sure to tip her,
That kindhearted stripper,
She is surely a very rare find.

If you go to the Pussycat clubhouse,
You'll be among a rather large crowd,
Cause she'll sure give it up,
For a seeing eye pup,
For the blind man, now touching's allowed.

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