SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:  Beelzebub Bytes!   Forget about viruses and malicious hackers; the real threat these days is far more insidious. Your home computer may have the Devil in its data, say Reverend Jim Peasboro of Georgia. "... the Computer Age has ... opened yet another door through which Lucifer and his minions can enter and corrupt men's souls."   Rev. Jim says he became aware of the problem from counseling churchgoers. "I learned that many members of my congregation became in touch with a dark force whenever they used their computers," ... "Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic Web sites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations."  "Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally," he declared ... One woman ... confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.'"   The minister said he probed one such case, actually logging onto the parishioner's computer himself. To his horror, an artificial-intelligence program started spontaneously. "The program began talking directly to me, openly mocked me," he said. Then the device went haywire and started printing out what looked like gobbledygook.   "I later had an expert in dead languages examine the text," the minister said. "It turned out to be a stream of obscenities written in a 2,800-year-old Mesopotamian dialect!" The minister estimates that one in ten computers in America now hosts some type of evil spirit. The Reverend advises anyone suspecting that their computer is possessed to consult a clergyman, or, if the computer is still under warranty, to take it in for servicing. "   Technicians can replace the hard drive and reinstall the software, getting rid of the wicked spirit permanently," he says.   However, there is some good news -- Only a PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit, the minister explained.


Teat Rave by SharonA
(Tune: "Heat Wave" performed by Martha and the Vandellas)

SharonA's Comments:  While derrymacash and Jack the Sailor are busy elsewhere in the past SONG CHALLENGE! archives, I'll continue to pursue my own quest to answer each CHALLENGE! in no particular order (the right-side-of-the-brain method) . . . (. . . or is it the left-side-of-the-brain?    Both sides of my brain forget!)


Whenever I'm plugged in,
Somethin' inside
Starts to churnin'
And I'm thrilled in my wires.
Could be the devil's in me
(So, is this to say Luc'fer knows PC?)

It's like a teat rave
Churnin' in my parts
I can't keep from spyin'
On bare and naked tarts.

Whenever his balls of flame
Roll over my brain
I squeel, yzzdzzh dzzzdzd, I squeal with surging gain.
Has my short circuit gone cuckolding me
Or is this what "play rough"'s supposed to be?

Just like a teat rave
Churnin' in my parts
I can't keep from spyin'
On bare and naked tarts.

Sometimes my monitor's gaze
Flickers out of its phase.
You can't retrain it;
Why can't you stand it?
Ain't you never seen guys kiss before?
Or girls having sex in eighteen odd ways
You don't know how to do? My hard drive is blazin'

Like a teat rave
Churnin' in my parts
I can't keep from spyin'
On bare and naked tarts.

Yeah-yeah, Yeah-yeaaah, wwwo-wwwo-wwwohhhhh (Teat rave)
Yeah-yeah, Yeah-yeaaah, wwwo-wwwo-wwwohhhhh (Teat rave)
Don't boot up, Chris-tians.
This mouse gets into your pants! Teat rave!!!

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