SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   This Challenge! was suggested by sophocleese (thanks!). If you're getting those summertime doldrums (or wintertime doldrums, if you're one of our NZ/OZ friends), here's a frisky little Challenge! that ought to blow those doldrums right away (hehehehehe):   So A Man Walks Into A Bar With A Fox Under His Arm And... -- "This whole story has been blown out of all proportion," said a spokeswoman for the Over and Sons garage in Aspatria. "It's true that last week a man walked onto our forecourt in the Market Place with a fox under his arm, pushed the nozzle of the compressed air line into the animal's rectum, put 20p in the slot, and pumped it until it exploded. But what the newspaper reports didn't mention was that the animal was already dead."   The spokeswoman explained that the garage had been under siege for several days following reports about the incident. A report appeared in the local paper, talking about 'this sickening and horrible act,' and next day the nasty phone calls started. Animal rights activists even threatened to make reprisal attacks on the garage, and more staff were called in.   But what had really happened was that an amateur taxidermist had brought the dead fox in, and asked if he could pump some air between the fur and the skin, to loosen the pelt. After apparently 'overdoing' it a bit, he then ran away in embarrassment. The garage's spokeswoman continued, "It ought to be obvious to anyone that the animal couldn't have been alive. I mean, it's hard enough to even hold a live fox, let alone insert an air-line up its rectum.  I should imagine."   Police later confirmed that they had spoken to a man about the incident. "We are convinced that no criminal act has taken place, but we did warn him about the inadvisability of inflating animals in a public place." 

The Taxidermy Fox Boom Polka by Mbo

Oh how I want to be a Taxidermist 
'Cause stuffing dead mammals is my bag 
I like to work with the scalpel and the fluff 
Even though formaldehyde will make me gag 

Oh one day I found some tasty roadkill 
A fox that was perfect for to stuff 
But I had to get the pelt off the rotting carcass 
Without ripping it, I tried not to be rough 

But the stupid pelt would not come off 
Though I tried with all my might and main 
I was about to give up on the smelly little bugger 
When a light bulb flashed on in my brain 

So I loaded the fox in my car 
And to the Garage down the lane I flew 
And there, it was! The big compressed air tank 
Which would see my endeavour through! 

So I fed the air line up the bunghole of the fox 
And 20p in the slot I did drop 
But the carcass oh so smelling, just kept on a-swelling 
And I couldn't get the thing to stop! 

And then 
And then 
And gentlemen, and then... 

Like a hot-air balloon on a cactus farm 
Like your fist on the clock when it rings it's alarm 
Like a pressure-cooker that too long has sat 
BOOM it was over just like that! 

Like a pretty girl with a wink of her eye 
Like fireworks shooting up in the sky 
Like a woopie-cushion on which someone has sat 
BOOM it was over just like that! 

Like a bratty kid who won't behave 
Like a hotdog in a microwave 
Like a cheese-laden trap and a big grey rat 
BOOM it was over just like that! 

Fox guts exploding all over the place 
And the Animal Rights folks callin' me a disgrace 
You're a Song Challenge! topic in seconds flat 
BOOM it was over JUST LIKE THAT! 

Back to Top