SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:  Beelzebub Bytes!   Forget about viruses and malicious hackers; the real threat these days is far more insidious.  Your home computer may have the Devil in its data, say Reverend Jim Peasboro of Georgia.  "... the Computer Age has ... opened yet another door through which Lucifer and his minions can enter and corrupt men's souls."  Rev. Jim says he became aware of the problem from counseling churchgoers.  "I learned that many members of my congregation became in touch with a dark force whenever they used their computers," ... "Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic Web sites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations."  "Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally," he declared.   "... One woman ... confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.'"  The minister said he probed one such case, actually logging onto the parishioner's computer himself.  To his horror, an artificial-intelligence program started spontaneously.  "The program began talking directly to me, openly mocked me," he said.  Then the device went haywire and started printing out what looked like gobbledygook.  "I later had an expert in dead languages examine the text," the minister said.  "It turned out to be a stream of obscenities written in a 2,800-year-old Mesopotamian dialect!"  The minister estimates that one in ten computers in America now hosts some type of evil spirit.   The Reverend advises anyone suspecting that their computer is possessed to consult a clergyman, or, if the computer is still under warranty, to take it in for servicing.   "   Technicians can replace the hard drive and reinstall the software, getting rid of the wicked spirit permanently," he says.  However, there is some good news -- Only a PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit, the minister explained.


Sympathy For the Devil (2001) by Jack the Sailor
(Tune: Sympathy For the Devil by The Rolling Stones)

Conga drums........ naked pagans........ dancing wildly ..... in the flickering light........ of computer screens

Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and power
I've been around for many long years , but this is my finest hour
I was around when Henry Ford, Started his polluting craze
I made damn sure that people Who drove freeways would be delayed

Chorus:
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name,
but what's puzzling you, is the nature of my game

I stick around at vending machine to see you don't get change
I make your Car hit mudpuddles So you'll need carwash,then it rains
I make the bank do that aweful prank where they play around with your credit rank

Chorus

I watched T.V. while Jim and Tammy, wasted money raised in your gods name
I shouted out "We came from Monkeys!" To take your mind off what he said
So let me please introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and Power
And I lay traps for teenagers, who get cable porn every hour

Chorus:
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name,
but what's confusing you, is just the nature of my game

Just as Pentium sounds like Pentigram, and all Software, Sucks
To sell your soul just call Billy Gates, I don't rely on luck
So if your computer spurts out gibberish, and porn and other trash
Blame it all on Lucifer, but send me all your cash

Chorus

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