Swimming With Crocs by Deda


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Casuarina Club Coach Spells Speed With A 'C' -- (Darwin, Australia 30/6/01) An Australian coach is using a crocodile in the pool to encourage his swimmers to improve their speeds. Mark Davies, from Casuarina Crocs Swimming Club in Darwin, says the technique improves his squad's performance. Local swimming authorities say he'll have to use a private pool if he wants to continue using the crocodile while the Australian Institute of Sport has condemned the technique. Mr Davies is unrepentant. He told Australian newspaper The Telegraph: "The thought of something chasing them down the pool certainly improves the speeds of my swimmers." Before the 1.8-metre saltwater crocodile is lowered into the water, its jaw is bound with tape and its claws are clipped.

Swimming With Crocs by Deda
(Boy, I was sure someone would beat me to it on using this tune: Waltzing with Bears – If the blue clicky trick fails, the song is in the DT)

Our swimming coach Davies ain't right in the head
His tactics have all of us shaking with dread
It's not that he beats us or treats us with shocks
No, he makes us go swimming -- swimming with crocs!

CHORUS:
We go swi- swi- swi-, swi- swi- swimming with crocs
Creepy crocs, sneaky crocs, teethy crocs, too
Coach Davies knows there's not a thing we won't do
So we can quit swimming, swimming with crocs

Our team's from Australia, dear old Darwin High
And we were straight losers till Davies arrived
He tried giving pep talks and hopes of a prize
But now he just says we can swim fast or die!

CHORUS

That croc's big and hungry and ugly as sin
Coach Davies don't care -- he just pushes us in
The tape on those jaws doesn't look fit to last
When it's inches behind you and closing in fast

CHORUS

We promised Coach Davies that we would be good
And work out and practice and win like we should
If only he'd let us try swimming croc-free
But he leered like old Hook at his hapless mate Smee

CHORUS

We complained to our friends and our sisters and brothers
We ran to our teachers and fathers and mothers
At first they all rallied and seemed very sweet
Till they saw how we'd scored at the regional meet

CHORUS

We're swimming like dolphins, we're faster than fish
We're running more prizes than even we wished
But put him in front of a toothy croc's grin
And a damn kangaroo would grow gills and a fin!

Coach Davies, the sadist, is happy right now
But we will get even, somewhere and somehow
We'll see how he likes it when he gets a taste
of the fear in the water when he's being chased.

Last CHORUS:
He'll go swi- swi- swi-, swi- swi- swimming with crocs
Creepy crocs, sneaky crocs, teethy crocs, too
Coach Davies, Coach Davies, now what would you do
So you can quit swimming, swimming with crocs?

We go swi- swi- swi-, swi- swi- swimming with crocs
Creepy crocs, sneaky crocs, teethy crocs, too
Coach Davies knows there's not a thing we won't do
So we can quit swimming, swimming with crocs