SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

No Room On The Xerox For Virgin Berths -- Bosses at Sir Richard Branson's Virgin Mobile scuppered plans to have photocopiers at their Christmas party so staff could scan their bottoms.  The idea was to recreate a television advertisement for the firm featuring former All Saints star Melanie Blatt, in which she does the same.  But the stunt was dropped after the company's legal advisers stepped in and ruled it unsafe.  More than 1,000 Virgin Mobile employees attended the firm's Christmas party on Tuesday at a nightclub in the Wiltshire town of Trowbridge.  It featured performances from the pop group Liberty and DJ Boy George.  A spokeswoman for the firm said she had heard about the idea to install reinforced photocopiers in the club as a gag after the success of the advertisement.  She said she understood it had come from someone else in their communications department, but was rejected by legal experts.  "Somebody had been talking about it early on, but it wouldn't have been allowed for legal reasons," the spokeswoman said. "It's unfortunate because it would be a good laugh."  And it appears that the ban-the-bums barristers might have an ally in the form of Officials at the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, who say workers risk cutting themselves on broken copier glass.  They say the Virgin mobile phone ad of Melanie Blatt photocopying her backside is "daft and irresponsible".  Spokesman Roger Vincent is warning office workers not to be tempted to make photocopied backsides "this year's festive trend".  He told The Sun: "Inhibitions are loosened after a few drinks and people show off. We don't want copying backsides to become this year's festive trend.  "Someone could find themselves in a hospital casualty ward this Christmas instead of at home with their families.  "Sitting on a photocopier is very dangerous. We don't want to be killjoys but advise people to stick to good old-fashioned mistletoe."


The Sun Shines by derrymacash

derrymacash's Comments:  This tune is to the air of the Ducks of Magheralin (or as it has been inadvertently dubbed in a current thread, The Ducks of Marilyn). It goes out to me oul' china, ard mhacha. Nollaig shona, a h-Oilibhéar a chara chairde agus beannacht duit.

It was at the office Christmas do, in the photocopy room
There was giggling and tittering as we gathered in the gloom
Now and then the oul machine would make its fateful pass
With a flash like lightning as a colleague photographed his ass

And then it came my turn to climb aboard the oul' machine
To drop my pants (and thanks to Christ my underwear was clean!)
But "Oh!" my colleagues gasped in awe and shrank from me in fright
As I removed my boxers the room was bathed with light

CHORUS:
Cos the sun shines out my ass, yes the sun shines out my ass
A light so bright and pure and white it cannot be surpassed
The subject of conjecture, "Is it true?" some folks have asked
Well, believe your eyes, you girls and guys, the sun shines out my ass!

How this solar object came to lodge in my rear end
Is truly a great mystery but I shall not pretend
That its presence causes bother, it's truly not a blight
I'm the only man on earth with a built-in source of light

I was standing by the ocean, the ships they sailed and steamed
Kept free of any danger by the lighthouse and its beam
But the lightbulb failed, the keeper wailed "The ships will all be sunk"
"Have no fear, me keeper dear, I'll spin and drop my trunks!"

CHORUS

I was watching Riverdance the lights they had a fault
Threatening to bring the night's proceeding to halt
"We have no spot to single out Jean Butler's next step-dance"
But I leapt to the rescue, bent down and dropped my pants.

It was at the Castleblaney fleadh, my mate lost his dope
To try to find it in the dark he knew there was no hope
But when I dropped my knickers, bathing all in a sea of light
He found his stash, ten pounds in cash and roared out in delight

CHORUS Adnauseam

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