Saint Patrick And The Bishop by Amos


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St. Patrick's Day 2000 Special Song Challenge: Bob, Corned Beef and The Devil -- Dateline Boston, USA. Some Irish Catholics may have a beef with the church on St. Patrick's Day. This year, the holiday falls on a Friday in Lent, the period when Roman Catholics are encouraged to abstain from eating meat as an act of penance and a reminder of the sacrifices of Jesus. Many Catholic bishops, including Boston's and New York's, are giving dispensation to parishioners who want to partake of the traditional Irish-American meal of corned beef and cabbage. But some bishops are refusing to let their congregations off the hook, like Bishop Sean O'Malley of Fall River, Massachusetts, has not issued a dispensation. As a result, Catholics with a hankering for corned beef on March 17th may be heading to nearby Boston. But even without a dispensation, there is a possible out for those who don't want to ignore the rules but feel a craving for corned beef: They can travel to another diocese where the meal is deemed OK. "Corned beef and cabbage is a mainstay of our menu," says Jerry Burke, owner of Doyle's Cafe, an Irish pub in Boston's Jamaica Plains neighborhood, "And people are going to do it anyway." Mr. Burke expects to sell thousands of pounds of corned beef and cabbage this Friday. Also included in the no-no parishes are those in Rockville Centre, New York and Brooklyn, New York."

Saint Patrick And The Bishop by Amos
(Tune: Blow Ye Winds In the Morning)

Chorus:
Sometimes the rules get broken
And sometimes they get bent
So I'll take corned beef and cabbage
And the Pope can keep his Lent!

They advertise in Boston
And out Jamaica Way
Ten thousand pounds of cornéd beef
For dear Saint Patty's day, singing

But the Bishop of Fall River
Consumed with earnest zeal
Proposed to call an edict down
On our ancient honor'd meal, singing

He had lots of fancy reasons
He talked without relief!
But all this logic came to
Was a day without corned beef

Now Jack McGraw, a Catholic born,
Devout within all reason
He swore he'd go to Doyle's cafe
Where beef held open season

His wife she feared the bishop's wrath
And begged him to repent
He swore "Away! It's Patty's Day!
Let the Pope reschedule Lent!"

Now Bishop Sean looked grim as stone
He thought to make example
Drove all the way to Doyle's Cafe
And caught Jack with a sample

Now Jack he had a steamin' fork
Of corned beef and of cabbage
When the Bishop scuttled up to him
And called him Satan's baggage!

The churchman raised his crooked staff
To strike that corned beef down!
But as he swung, there opened up
A great hole in the ground!

The thunder pealed and the ground split wide
And we was all afeared
As with a curse upon his lips,
That Bishop disappeared

So now we're all enjoying beef
And no-one needs confessing
We've traded in the vows of Lent
For dear Saint Patrick's blessing!

So if your joy of life gets cooled
By a busybody father,
Just ask yerself what Pat would say,
An' do as he would rather!