The Store Was Full Of Marvels by DonD


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Gadzooks, Batman, It's the G-String Gang! Holy Underwear! -- LONDON (Reuters) - Cheeky thieves, dubbed the "G-string Gang" by the British press, made off with thousands of pounds worth of racy underwear after a daylight raid on upmarket lingerie designer Agent Provocateur, a spokesman said on Tuesday. The central London headquarters of Agent Provocateur, a favorite among celebrities such as Kate Moss and Liz Hurley, was burgled over the weekend by thieves who carried off 27,000 pounds ($40,000) worth of lacy bras, knickers and corsets as well as shoes and jewelry. "We were all working upstairs when it appears the thieves broke down the front door and managed to steal the collections from the basement," said Agent Provocateur founder Joe Corre. But the thieves, who got away with the fashion house's new collection, had not made an intelligent choice in targeting such an exclusive boutique, he said. "The very nature of the designs, being so distinctive, renders them instantly recognizable, making it easier to track the thieves down, whatever they try to do with the collection." Agent Provocateur is known for its sexy, slinky and expensive designs which include one-off corsets, suspenders, stockings and G-strings. A spokesman for London's Metropolitan Police said the burglary was being investigated but there was no description of the suspects.

The Store Was Full Of Marvels by DonD
(Tune: The Banks Are Made of Marble)

I've pilfered cross this sceptered isle,
John O'Groats down to Land's End.
Things of all kinds, would blow your mind
If laid out end to end.

But small stuff began to bore me
I wante one big score
So that when wealth came, I'd earn my fame,
Then I heard of Agent Provocateur.

CHORUS:
'Tis a store that's full of marvels,
Satin bras and lace-trimmed drawers,
Suspender belts of exotic pelts
That a Playboy reader would adore.

Breaking in was easy
Flimsy frou-frous filled our lorry;
A scarlet bustier was making me lustier
Which means never having to say you're sorry!

Back at the flat we sorted the loot,
Found no two bits alike.
But we found it tough to fence the stuff
And were told to take a hike.

CHORUS

So here we sit midst naughty bits
Looking forward to being Yuletide Santys
Whose ambitious folly produced no lolly
Hope our girlfriens like split-crothed panties.

So wide boys and burglars all
Of one thing you can be sure:
You may polish your knob but you won't make a bob
At Agent Provacteur!

CHORUS