SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

Naughty Naturalists Nabbed in Night-Vision Nasty –– A couple at a lakeland holiday park were caught naked on cameras meant to monitor the movements of badgers.  The pair ventured into the snowy woods at the Oasis Village, near Penrith in Cumbria.  Their romp was beamed into every hotel bedroom on a special channel trained on the badger set.  The night-vision camera caught the couple in the early hours of the morning. The woman kept her bobble hat on, reports the News of the World.  The pair stopped when they heard a sound and quickly put their clothes on before being chased by a security guard with a torch.  The identity of the couple has not been revealed.


The Stitchin' On Me Bobble-Hat by derrymacash
(A parody of "The Dealin' Men From Crossmaglen Put The Whiskey In Me Tay", as sung definitively by Tommy Makem}

My husband has a hobby, which leaves me rather coul'
He's a lover of the wildlife, insects, fish and fowl
Otters, deer and foxes, moles and voles and stoats
But the shy, nocturnal badger really gets my husband's goat
One evening late, he and his mates went on an overnight
With cameras and microphones, infra-red nightlights
In every hotel bedroom, before they hit the hay
Snug and warm and safe from harm they could watch the badgers play

The frost it wouldn't nip them, the wind their hides won't flay
Snug and warm and safe from harm they could watch the badgers play

And me being wild and reckless and hubby out of sight
I got on the phone to me fancy-man and I asked him "Are you right
For a bit of how's-your-father?" And he says "You dirty mare!
I wouldn't mind a bit of a ride out in the open-air"
I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I began to blush
I 'magined the tease from a bit of breeze that's ticklin' my bush
"Oh" says I "go on, I'll give you one, I'll give you a time that's good
I'll just slip into my anorak and I'll meet you in the woods"

"All your saucy banter has put me in the mood
I'll just slip into my anorak and I'll meet you in the woods"

I wasn't to know the spot we chose was in the line of view
Of the infrareds and microphones and all that how-d'ye-do
And glued to their TV screens, the brock-watchers were in awe
The main attraction of the night was more than they bargained for
But the picture was quite grainy and the definition poor
I might not have been recognised but for the hat I wore
I'll regret I wore that headgear until my dying day
Cos the stitchin' on me bobble-hat gave me game away

It wasn't me facial features or tattoos I'm sad to say
But the stitchin' on me bobble-hat that gave me game away

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