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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
Here's a Challenge! idea sent in by JenEllen -- Gobbler's Gone For Good: Cemetery Turkey Is Laid To Rest - Death Is Not Due To Fowl Play -- (Spokane, WA) When a tom turkey strutted onto a cemetery just before Thanksgiving, people figured he was either a farm escapee trying to avoid ending up the centerpiece of a holiday dinner ir a wild bird just passing through. But the bird that became known as Martin A Gobbler remained for good, and he hardly overstayed his welcome. The turkey - eventually determined to be wild - took up residence for seven months, adding unsuspected levity to graveside services. The gobbler also attracted gawkers who came to see him chase cars in the parkinglot and fend off the ducks who invaded what he considered his turf. Martin died June 24th, and got a farewell fit for a creature far higher on the food chain. The bird, believed to be around a year old, was found dead on the grounds with no obvious signs of trauma. The memorial drew about 50 people and featured an altar, photo, and flowers with an attached note "Your gobble will be missed." The turkey's cremated remains are stored in a small blue urn in the office of the funeral director while they plan to incorporate them into a monument featuring a bronze turkey statue placed near the office entrance. The cemetery owner believes Martin's biggest burden in life was his apparent inability to find a mate. Staff never saw a hen on the grounds, and Martin's flamboyant displays of strutting and pecking car tires were merely for human consumption. "He didn't enjoy his life of celibacy at all" stated the groundskeeper "He would get all fluffed up and parade around here like he owned the place. He was trying to attract a mate and there were none to attract."
The Spokane Turkey by derrymacash
(To the tune of "The Croppy Boy." Have a handkerchief at hand!)
It was early, early all in the spring
When small birds whistle and do sweetly sing
Changing their notes from tree to tree
Except for Martin, the Spokane turkey
Firstly, Martin just cannot sing
A raucous gobble is Martin's thing
And don't forget, that he cannot fly
The tree-to-tree stuff just passed him by
Instead he mooches in the oul' bone yard
Thinking life is oh so very hard
Growing sorry for his own self
Wreaking havoc on his mental health
A natural death, or was it suicide?
The latter claim has been oft denied
But did I hear in oul' Martin's croak
The turkey equivalent of a suicide note?
Come all you turkeys, take advice my me
Don't spend your time in human cemeteries
Stay in the wild with your turkey friends
And spare a thought for Martin's tragic end