Speedo by mousethief


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Casuarina Club Coach Spells Speed With A 'C' -- (Darwin, Australia 30/6/01) An Australian coach is using a crocodile in the pool to encourage his swimmers to improve their speeds. Mark Davies, from Casuarina Crocs Swimming Club in Darwin, says the technique improves his squad's performance. Local swimming authorities say he'll have to use a private pool if he wants to continue using the crocodile while the Australian Institute of Sport has condemned the technique. Mr Davies is unrepentant. He told Australian newspaper The Telegraph: "The thought of something chasing them down the pool certainly improves the speeds of my swimmers." Before the 1.8-metre saltwater crocodile is lowered into the water, its jaw is bound with tape and its claws are clipped.

Speedo by mousethief
(Tune: Speedoo as sung by the Cadillacs)

Well I'm swimming in my Speedo with a croc swimming up my ass (mm-hmmm)
Yeah I'm swimming in my Speedo with a croc swimming up my ass (mmm-hmm)
The coach threw it in with me cos he thinks I don't swim too fast (mmm-hmmm)

Now that croc has et my speedo and I don't dare swim on my back (mmmm-hmmm)
Yeah that croc has et my speedo and I don't dare swim on my back (mmmm-hmmm)
I don't want the girls at poolside, to see exactly what I lack (mmm-hmmm)

He threw it in with Mo (whoa-oh)
Threw it in with Joe (whoa-oh)
With that croc behind 'em there ain't nobody swims slow

Now I'm swimming with that crock-o and I'm turning in new record times (mmm-hmmm)
Yeah I'm swimming with that crock-o and I'm turning in new record times (mm-hmmm)
He already et my swimsuit and I'll be damned if he eats my behind (mmmm-hmmm)

Now someone lost a toe
And someone an elbow
But we're all swimming faster with that crocodile in tow

Now I got me a new Speedo and that croc ain't touched me again (mmmm-hmmm)
Yeah I got me a new Speedo and that croc ain't touched me again (mmm-hmmm)
Yeah we fed Coach Davies to him and he's been pretty full since then (mmmm-hmmm)

Repeat and fade: Mmmm-hmmm. Mmmmm-hmmmm.

Copyright ©2002 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.