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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
The Song Challenge: When
Pigs Fly OR Never Say Never Again (Philadelphia PA) In a bizarre
episode that rattled flight attendants and embarrassed airline officials, a
300-pound pig was put in the first-class cabin of a US Airways Boeing 757 and
flown with 200 other passengers on a nonstop six-hour flight across the country
from Philadelphia to Seattle. All went well, for most of the flight.
Somehow, the pig's owners, described as two women, one in her 30s, the other a
senior citizen, convinced the airline that it was a "therapeutic companion
pet," like a guide dog for the blind. "I guess it was supposed
to be a Seeing Eye pig," a witness aboard the flight said. "Frankly, I
couldn't tell what kind of therapeutic service it was providing. All I know is,
it was ugly, and it pooped." A chagrined airline spokesman provided
few details. "We can confirm that the pig traveled, and we can confirm that
it will never happen again," US Airways spokesman David Castelveter said.
"Let me stress that. It will never happen again." An internal
report said the owners said they had a doctor's note that required them to fly
with the animal, and that they described pig as weighing only 13 pounds, so
based on this info, authorization was given," the report said. Witnesses
said the pig's owners exhibited no obvious impairments. "I'd estimate
300 pounds," one source aboard the flight said. "It took four people
to wheel it in, past security and to the gate. And they were
struggling." Though flight attendants objected, the pig was cleared
for takeoff and seated on the floor, in the first row of first class. It was so
big, much of its bulk extended into the aisle, according to the report.
"It didn't smell; it was a clean pig," a witness on the flight said.
"It slept almost the whole time." Few passengers complained. It
wasn't till the aircraft taxied into Seattle that the pig wreaked havoc.
Squealing loudly, it ran loose through the aircraft and tried to enter the
cockpit. It finally found refuge in the food galley, where it refused to
budge. Finally, the pig was lured from the galley with food. Then,
the owners -- struggling to control the pig -- dragged it out of the aircraft
and into the Jetway. That's where it left its mess. "Another
passenger on the flight advised pig owner that she picked up her pig's feces and
she was not happy about that," the report stated. "Once the pig
was off aircraft, another passenger had to push while the two women pulled to
get it in the elevator. "The whole time, the pig was squealing so loudly
everyone in the terminal heard it." Federal Aviation Administration
officials in Seattle said they were unfamiliar with the incident, but said they
would investigate.
Sanglochon Aerial by Bradypus
Bradypus' Comments: I suspect this was no ordinary pig - I think he was
a sanglochon, as featured here
The patron and I, we got talking
'Do your family all cook ?' I enquired.
'Mais non, I've a brother in America
Where his skills are so often required
My brother's a therapeutic companion
With two ladies rich he does dwell
He accompanies them off on their journeys
They don't seem to mind the odd smell
Some people have guide dogs to lead them
Some dogs for the deaf act as ears
My brother's employed as a taster
He's been with those ladies for years
And why, you may ask, a sanglochon
To taste for these ladies their food?
Everyone knows the sanglochon
Always tastes so very good!
One day on an air flight they took him
First class, the best food, the best wine
But champagne at twenty thousand metres
Doesn't agree well with swine
And so to the cockpit he staggered
The cabin crew wrestled him down
And merde! At twenty thousand metres
Made all the passengers frown
But why did he go to the cockpit?
He told me, with wink in his eye
He wanted to pilot the airplane
For everyone knows pigs might fly!