SONG CHALLENGE!S From The Past (Part 1 to 25)


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(If you've missed a Challenge! thread, or just want to see what this is all about, check out the past Challenge! threads by clicking on the date of the Challenge!. Even if it's an old Challenge!, you can still submit a song about it!)

I saw a funny story in the newspaper this morning that I thought would make a great subject for a song. Then I figured why not make it a challenge for the 'Catters to write a song about this and see who wrote the funniest one? I'd like to make this a regular thread, so share your great ideas with us and let's see what we can come up with!

Here's the news story: The cops get a call from a woman telling them to arrest her husband, who's in a motel room with another woman. They tell her that although what he's doing is immoral, it's not illegal. Then she tells them that the husband has a warrant out for his arrest. They check it out, and sure enough, it's true. The cops go to the motel and knock on the door. The man goes out the back window and starts to shimmy down a galvanized pipe –– not bothering to put on his clothes! The officer at the bottom of pipe shouts for the fella to come down. The man looks at the officer and says, 'Who? Me?', and the officer says 'How many naked guys on pipes do you think I'm talking to?"

Since we had such wonderful success with the first Song Challenge, I'm issuing another one! That's right, boys and girls, get out your pens and pencils for another test of your ingenuity –

This challenge requires you to go to 'Caitrin's Cookie Recipe' thread –– click here –– and write a song describing these inebriating, sinful, hallucinogenic cookies and their effect on the consumer/imbiber! Go on, take one, they're free!!

Hello 'Catters! Yes, it's *another* challenge for the Mudcat Songbook!! All of you entomologically–minded folks will be especially interested in this one:

I heard a report on NPR today that scientists in the US have made a fantastic advance in the study of honey bees –– they've caught several of the little buggers and glued diodes and antennae on their back with double–sided poster tape. "They look like hors d'oeuvres with glass toothpicks in them," said one of the researchers. Then the researchers release the honey bees and *attempt* to follow them in vans equipped with radio receivers; communicating with each other via walkie–talkies, evoking such conversations as: "He's going north." "Now he's going west." "He's going south –– nope, make that north again."

Unfortunately, I was unable to hear the end of the story, or to what purpose this 'fantastic advance' has been made –– but I'll leave that up to your imagination. My dad was a beekeeper for years, and I can't help but imagine him laughing himself silly if he could hear this story, and making some comment about "the guys in white coats tailing the 'little sisters'."

OK, SONG CHALLENGE!RS, here's the newest challenge, just in time for your weekend. Put on your best "Terminator" accent and go for it!!! Let's write these happy folks (volks) a song they can sing on their anniversaries to come:

Gerhard Spitz and Martina Steindorf, both of Germany, were married in a Las Vegas casino recently in a "masked wedding." The pair were the winners of a radio contest in Germany where listeners matched the most compatible and most popular couple. The couple had only spoken once before the wedding, when the groom proposed to the bride on–air before they were flown to Las Vegas for their wedding. At the ceremony, the couple were masked until they were pronounced husband and wife. The groom then kissed the shaking bride, saying "It's fate that we are joined." The happy kids honeymooned in California, where the groom said "We're going to get acquainted."

This SONG CHALLENGE is really a proxy challenge/thread bleed from the Thought for the Day – Feb. 8 thread (click here to read it). You'll have to read it to understand what I'm talking about. Basically, it involves the film, The Wizard of Oz . . . It's a 3 part challenge: Write (or finish) the following songs:

1. Munchkins Hangin' In Dem Trees (a/k/a Strange little Fruit); or 2. The Storkin' Blues; or 3. Elementary Feminism (a/k/a Glenda The Good Witch Gets Guilded

Good luck and may the best Winged Monkey and/or Horse Of A Different Colour win!!

Well, I'm back again with another good one (or so me thinks). A rather special headline in today's paper caught my eye. It was situated over a story describing how, in these days of the 'Net, you no longer have to pull on your Justins, hitch up your Levis, place your Stetson on your head, or smell the sawdust and funk from the stockyard, to go to the cattle auction. That's right folks, you can bid on that bessie over the ethernet. The story described a "3–1/2 hour Web event, offering about 3,500 beef cattle to 36 competing bidders in seven states . . . confirm(ing) the next evolutionary cycle of livestock marketing." So, here's the headline for which you are challenged to write a song for: ONLINE BOVINE.

Since jeffp has already submitted a wonderful Valentine's Day song for the Mudcat Songbook today, I was stuck for a good challenge. Then, I took my youngest ones to the grocery store and had to again refuse to buy them a certain sugary cereal. But, and blame it on the Muzak brain–fry, I got an idea! Here 'tis –– write a song using the shapes from the Lucky Charms cereal: pink hearts, crescent moons, yellow stars, beautiful rainbows, red balloons, green clovers, and fluffy marshmellows. The topic of the song can be anything you want; however, I have one little request –– NO DANCING LEPRECHAUNS –– dancing, waltzing, tumbling, swimming fairies, elves, water sprites, trolls, etc. are fine, though. But, if you just can't resist using the little buggers, go ahead.

So, suspend your disbelief and common sense and have some fun with this one –– GO FOR IT SONG CHALLENGE!RS ––

I'm back! This CHALLENGE! is based on an old Irish proverb: He who comes with a story to you will bring two away from you. Now, CHALLENGE!RS, go and have a good think on this one –– I'm expecting great things from all of you (as usual!).

Village Wonders Who Killed Chicken By Sue Leeman. Associated Press Writer // Wednesday, Feb. 16, 2000; 1:36 p.m. EST

FINCHINGFIELD, England –– Who sent Violet, a fowl insured for $1.5 million, to the great chicken coop in the sky? The residents of this picture–pretty village northeast of London have been wondering ever since the bird, a bumptious Rhode Island Red who strutted for years among the ducks by the village pond, was found dead one chilly day in December. Could it be the pub landlord, who disliked the way Violet fluttered around his customers? Or one of the village councilors, allegedly heard planning to wring Violet's neck after locals complained she was ruining the garden around the war memorial? Or perhaps the stranger seen driving erratically in a van? Suspicions of fowl play abound. Though Violet's owners had insured the 4–year–old bird's life for $1.5 million after the alleged death threat, no one has been accused of birdicide. Paula Flight, 35, who bought Violet and her sister, Ruby, as pets for her daughter, believes the chicken may have been done in by an enemy. Although Violet had "not a mark on her" when she was found dead outside her pen Dec. 3, Flight says "someone had to undo the catch and take her out." Fox Pub landlord Mike Paviour denies any wrongdoing, but readily admits he's pleased Violet will no longer perch on a shelf in his 17th–century inn. Violet, who had the run of the place during the years Flight and her husband managed the pub, used to, well, relieve herself everywhere, Paviour notes, "and our customers didn't like it. Also, it wasn't very hygienic." Members of Finchingfield Parish Council also protest their innocence. Chairman Edwin Collar concedes a councilor threatened to wring the bird's neck once, but insists "it was a facetious remark." "I'm sorry the chicken has passed away," he says. The problem began when somebody complained Violet was disturbing bark arranged around the plants under the stone cross memorial to wartime dead on Finchingfield's village green. The matter came up at the next parish council meeting, attended by Flight, who recalls, "One councilor shouted, 'I'll wring its bloody neck.' Then they discussed who would do the dastardly deed." "It didn't sound like a joke," she adds. Finchingfield resident Simon Burgess, who arranged to insure Violet's life through the London firm Grip, says the policy – with an annual premium of £1,680 – will pay out only if Flight can prove Violet was killed and eaten by councilors or, in a bizarre fillip added by the insurers, abducted by aliens. Flight submits that Violet, who features in a local artist's daubs of the village, did no harm and even attracted visitors to Finchingfield. The bird had to wander free because she became so stressed behind bars that her feathers fell out, her owner says. Ruby was run over and, not long ago, someone tried to kill Violet the same way, Flight says. She believes the driver of a van deliberately aimed his vehicle at Violet, who managed to scoot between the wheels. With its tall white windmill, Norman church and timbered town hall, Finchingfield receives busloads of tourists during much of the year. Now, it's making headlines because of the death of a chicken. Peter Curry, owner of the local antiques center, where Violet preened daily in front of a mirror, is tickled at the attention from journalists as far away as Israel, Brazil, Australia and Germany. "Someone from America asked me, 'What is it with you Brits and chickens?'" he recalls. "And I replied, 'You have drive–by shootings – we have rogue chickens.'"

This CHALLENGE! is being posted by popular demand (it would seem) and/or by thread creep from another thread. (For info and inspiration, check out this thread). The CHALLENGE! is to write a song about food –– your favorite food, your least favorite food, the things in your refrigerator, etc. Any food–based topic is fine. Suggested titles are:

My Bulgur Is A 'Bulgin';
A Smoothie In The Morning And I'm Fit For Love;
Why Waste Two Dollars On Cheap Rotel When A Plunger And A Privy Will Do Just As Well;
You're My Peanut, I'm Your Butter;
My Lettuce Done Growed Legs And Walked Outa My Life

From a recent National Public Radio show segment: Mr. Patrick Wright is serving time in the George F. Bailey Detention Facility in Otay Mesa, California for brandishing a knife at police and for illegal possession of ferrets. He went in February 8th and he gets out Friday February 25th, at 12:01am. In California, unlike most states in the U.S., keeping ferrets as pets is illegal. He picked up the knife when the police burst through his door during a raid to take possession of his four pet ferrets. "I like to believe I live in a free country . . . in California . . . it's like we're dealing with Stalin . . . it's completely un–American," says Mr. Wright. His fellow inmates in the county jail at first didn't believe he'd been arrested for ferret possession. However, after they'd seen his picture in the local newspaper, they began calling him 'Ferretman'. He told the court that he is sorry about the knife incident, but still defends his right to keep ferrets. The appeal of ferrets he says, '. . . they're like little clowns . . . they're Prozac with legs."

The Challenge is to write a song welcoming Mr. Wright home from the county jail and/or defending his right to keep ferrets! "Land of the brave, home of the free and the ferret!" Let's not go for the obvious low–humor or the easy laugh on this one –– 'Bawdy' is fine, but let's not sink to 'nasty', OK? Think 'subtle'!

Here it is, CHALLENGE!RS –– Your 'song subject' for The Great Easter Bonnet(?) Special Challenge, just in time for Mardi Gras and spring bonnet buying weather. No caveats, you're allowed a "free hand" with this one. Just remember that after Fat Tuesday, you have to behave . . . yeah, right. Joyeux Mardi Gras!

DATELINE: GRETNA, Louisiana –– The debate was serious. The vote unanimous. The Gretna City Council says it's now legal in Louisiana to throw women's underwear from Carnival floats. "So we're pro–panties –– it's on the record," joked one city councilman. However, it is still illegal to throw anything that is ". . . lewd or lascivious and includes, but is not limited to, condoms and inflatable paraphernalia." The panty–throwing issue was pushed by protesting parade organizers. "If panties are . . . vulgar, why are they exposed in every department store in the nation?" asked one of the captains of the Elks Krewe of Gretna. Another Mardi Gras group captain firmly agreed. "Panties have been a legitimate throw for Mardi Gras for years," he said.

Since we all had such fun being 'animals' about ladies underwear in Song Challenge! Part 11, I thought this would be appropos this time. The Challenge: The Norwegian Moose And His Road Rage

OSLO, Norway –– Raymond Johansen isn't sure what to say on his insurance claim after a moose walked across his car and kicked in its windshield this weekend. Johansen and his girlfriend, Kristen, were driving home when they stopped for a moose on the highway. They thought they'd avoided a potentially deadly collision with the moose, which weighted about 400 kilograms (880 pounds); but, no such luck. Johansen recalled shouting "this can't be" when the moose walked across the car's hood and one of its feet came crashing through the windshield. Neither the couple nor the moose was injured. He said the moose may have been enraged by the bright lights of the car.

OK, as promised, here's Barky's (very first) challenge idea. I'll be out of the house today at the North Texas Irish Festival (hope I run into Jed Marum f/k/a liam_devlin), so you guys behave yourselves! I'm looking forward to seeing what y'all come up with when I get home. Here we go, SONG CHALLENGE! No. Lucky 13:

Free Outfits For Nude Shoppers –– An Austrian clothing chain is offering shoppers $385 worth of free clothes if the customer enters the store completely naked. Streakers must make it as far as the checkout counter of any Kleider Bauer outlet, where they'll be greeted with a towel to cover up as well as a voucher to buy clothes for the trip home, the department store said in a statement last week. However, fearing an onslaught of shoppers from a nation not averse to baring all in public, only the first five strippers of the day at each of the 40 department stores will be rewarded. Naturally the store stands to win no matter what. One commentator noted that obviously more than 5 will show up to win, and those nudes will want to buy some clothes so they can leave with what little dignity they may have intact. No doubt, plenty of gawkers will show up to oggle the streakers, and they'll probably feel compelled to buy some clothes as well. And then of course, there's the owner who thought it all up who'll not only enjoy extra sales, but will get a free show as well.

Well, my goodness! After munchkins, ferrets, panties, and streakers, and considering the recent Carnival / Mardi Gras madness, I thought we could all use a good stiff drink (that is, unless you've given up the hooch for Lent!). So here's a little story of compassion and sharing that deserves a good song or two ––

On Air Traffic Controller Excuses for Stealing Drinks: Peter Smith, an air traffic controller trainee, excuses himself to the judge after being charged with the theft of a glass of beer from a bar –– "I am definitely not guilty. Making my way home from the control tower, I saw a man standing in the street with a glass of beer in his hand. He told me that the glass was stuck to his hand and asked me to help him get free of it. When I had done so, he gave me the glass and its contents by way of a reward."

Here it is, my lovely CHALLENGE!RS, the No Dancing Leprechauns St. Patrick's Day Special Song Challenge:

Bob, Corned Beef and The Devil –– Dateline Boston, USA. Some Irish Catholics may have a beef with the church on St. Patrick's Day. This year, the holiday falls on a Friday in Lent, the period when Roman Catholics are encouraged to abstain from eating meat as an act of penance and a reminder of the sacrifices of Jesus. Many Catholic bishops, including Boston's and New York's, are giving dispensation to parishioners who want to partake of the traditional Irish–American meal of corned beef and cabbage. But some bishops are refusing to let their congregations off the hook, like Bishop Sean O'Malley of Fall River, Massachusetts, has not issued a dispensation. As a result, Catholics with a hankering for corned beef on March 17th may be heading to nearby Boston. But even without a dispensation, there is a possible out for those who don't want to ignore the rules but feel a craving for corned beef: They can travel to another diocese where the meal is deemed OK. "Corned beef and cabbage is a mainstay of our menu," says Jerry Burke, owner of Doyles Cafe, an Irish pub in Bostons' Jamica Plains neighborhood, "And people are going to do it anyway." Mr. Burke expects to sell thousands of pounds of corned beef and cabbage this Friday. Also included in the no–no parishes are those in Rockville Centre, New York and Brooklyn, New York.

OK Challenge!rs – If you don't like this one, don't blame me! This little jewel comes from the Infamous Amos –– Yes folks, the same man who penned the amazing Feminism One–Oh–One! Can't say he's unbalanced now (or can you??). Anyway, have fun with this one!

Dull Men of the World Unite –– LONDON (Reuters) – Now there's a Web site for the man who has everything except a life. Promising to free its readers from the pressures of trying to be "in and trendy," www.dullmen.com reviews dull books, tells dull jokes and lists dull events for every month of the year. "In March, we like to watch maple trees during sugaring time. Sap dripping just right to watch –– the right pace, the right suspense," suggests the site run by the U.S.–based National Council of Dull Men. Laid out in shades of grey, black and white, it also offers a test with questions like "Do you like to watch airport luggage carousels?" and "Do you like English food?" to help readers find their true selves.

Here we go again, CHALLENGE!RS –– From the dull, grey and boring to the . . . well, uh . . . NOT! This idea is Barky's, so talk to Daddy Amos if you've got a problem with it(!) {Notice – this has been edited in places because I was just too embarrassed to type it.}

Hey Mister –– Want A Little Extra Off The Sides? – Women in the Quebec city of Laval suspected their husbands and boyfriends were getting a bit more than a shave and a haircut at a local hair salon. Apparently, they were right. Police arrested eight people at Le Salon Sex Symbol, where stylists (disrobed), performed exotic dances and talked dirty as they clipped clients' hair, said police spokesman Guy Lajeunesse. The 2–month–old undercover investigation started after several women called police worried that the hairdressers were offering their husbands and boyfriends sexual services. Customers of the 5–year–old business received haircuts from scantily–clad women who 'for more money' (Ed. well, did 'very' naughty things). Though erotic hair salons are legal if no touching takes place, police believe patrons at Le Salon Sex Symbol could (do more than 'touch'). "We found some hair on the ground," Lajeunesse said. "One of the men got his hair cut. They have a few clients who just go for that. It's supposed to be the main attraction."

Now for the custard throwing seals –– or something just as good! This Challenge! idea comes from Amos (and we all know what a little devil he is...):

Beelzebub Bytes! –– Forget about viruses and malicious hackers; the real threat these days is far more insidious. Your home computer may have the Devil in its data, say Reverend Jim Peasboro of Georgia. "... the Computer Age has ... opened yet another door through which Lucifer and his minions can enter and corrupt men's souls."

Rev. Jim says he became aware of the problem from counseling churchgoers. "I learned that many members of my congregation became in touch with a dark force whenever they used their computers," ... "Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic Web sites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations." "Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally," he declared ... One woman ... confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.'"

The minister said he probed one such case, actually logging onto the parishioner's computer himself. To his horror, an artificial–intelligence program started spontaneously. "The program began talking directly to me, openly mocked me," he said. Then the device went haywire and started printing out what looked like gobbledygook. "I later had an expert in dead languages examine the text," the minister said. "It turned out to be a stream of obscenities written in a 2,800–year–old Mesopotamian dialect!" The minister estimates that one in ten computers in America now hosts some type of evil spirit. The Reverend advises anyone suspecting that their computer is possessed to consult a clergyman, or, if the computer is still under warranty, to take it in for servicing. "Technicians can replace the hard drive and reinstall the software, getting rid of the wicked spirit permanently," he says.

However, there is some good news –– Only a PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit, the minister explained.

One More Time, Maestro! –– This Challenge! idea comes from Mbo. Grab the phone and the number for the local emergency room –– Here we go ––

I Want My Twinkie And I Want It Now! –– Biddeford, Maine, March 23 – Last week, panic began to spread through the Northwest United States as workers dumped loaves of bread off a loading dock during a strike at the Interstate Bakeries Corp. Why the bother? This strike of truck drivers prevented the delivery of Wonder Bread and other products, such as Twinkies, across the Northwest US. Wonder Bread, as every good American child knows, is that wonderful, sweet, doughy white bread that one can either ingest or, with a little spit or milk, make funny molded shapes with. When hardened, it makes fantastic projectiles for peashooters. Generations of American children grew up eating this bread, before the advent of wheat bread into a more health–conscious market. But the real panic was due to the shortage of Twinkies – the one food product that has been guaranteed by experts to survive a nuclear blast. An oblong, tan, mushy, cream–filled pastry so sweet that it has been known to rot teeth merely by being looked at, it is lusted after by all children and adults needing a quick sugar fix, and has been popular in the US for years, often imitated but never replaced in the soul of the country. To the relief of these Twinkie–deprived folks, the eight–day strike ended last Thursday. 'Right now, it sounds like everyone is going to get their Twinkies.' said Robert Piccone, president of Teamsters Local 340. Because of the strike, the company's Biddeford plant was shut down, putting 400 bakers out of work. On the picket line in Biddeford, where the drivers had put up a banner that said "Fort Twinkie" at their tarp–covered shelter, a cheer was raised when they heard the news that the strike was over.

In Challenge 18, Eluned said "The woods would be silent indeed if only the best birds sang." Bradypus suggested this quote as a Challenge! idea. So, what song can you Challenge!rs write with that quote as the premise?

This suggestion comes from our own Bert, and it's a hoot! Enjoy, and let's see some great submissions!

The Mother Of All Excuses –– A pub landlord has developed the perfect defence for the post–work tippler who needs an excuse for being late home – a phone booth which adds authentic sound effects to any drinker's excuse for being late home. Colin Benham, who runs the Travellers Joy in Rayleigh, Essex, first built a traditional–style red kiosk by hand. He then added a selection of digitally recorded background noises, from a busy railway station to a bustling office and a noisy traffic jam. Regulars now have the opportunity of ringing loved ones with a choice of excuses ranging from "the boss wants me to stay late at the office" to "you wouldn't believe the traffic I'm stuck in" . . . while Mr Benham pours the next round. Mr Benham, who has no immediate plans to develop his invention, said yesterday: "It's the perfect answer to avoid those 'your dinner's in the dog' situations. I've got a CD with everything from traffic jam noise to the sound of a supermarket. It started off as an April Fool's joke but it has taken off like you wouldn't believe." Drinkers simply request the bar staff to play a particular sound effect which is relayed through a speaker fixed inside the kiosk, and the rest is down to the caller's conscience. The landlady, Bernadette Williams, said there had been reports of the system being used for marginally more nefarious purposes, possibly involving bosses and secretaries. She said: "There has been some talk of that kind of thing but overall we think it's a nice invention, and it's not just used by men. We built it ourselves because, being close to the railway station, we heard one or two people mention they had to leave because their dinner was ready when they really could have done with another pint. What happens is you get to unwind in the pub before you go home which puts you in a much better frame of mind, particularly if your partner thinks you've had an arduous time coming home. It makes for a much more harmonious evening." The assistant manager, Tim Burchill, added: "Basically it gives you the perfect excuse to stay for that last pint, or five." Of course, too many drinks and the person on the other end of the line could be wondering what a train is doing in a supermarket . . .

SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22 (13–Apr–00)

That's One Scrappy Rooster! –– For 18 months in the 1940s, it seemed as if Mike the headless chicken might be immortal. Now he's being immortalized in a 4–foot metal sculpture to be stuck in a planter on a downtown corner in his hometown of Fruita, Colorado. The 300–pound replica of Mike was made using ax heads and hay–rake teeth, along with sickle blades and other cutting objects. "I made him proud–looking and cocky," said the artist, Lyle Nichols, a Fruita native. The rooster belonged to Fruita farmer Lloyd Olsen, who planned to put Mike into the cooking pot and lopped off his head at the base of the skull to leave as much of the tasty neck as possible. But Mike just fluffed up his feathers –– although he could only go through the motions of pecking for food, and when he tried to crow, a gurgle came out. But he was still alive the next morning. Olsen started putting feed and water directly into Mike's gullet with an eyedropper. Mike lived for 18 months, making it into Life magazine and the Guinness Book of World Records, and was a popular attraction until he choked to death on a corn kernel in an Arizona motel while on tour. Fruita officials dug up his story last spring when they were looking for something besides pioneers to focus on for Colorado Heritage Week. That led to the first Mike the Headless Chicken Festival. In addition to food (fried chicken) and music, this year's festival is scheduled to feature "The Run Like A Chicken With Your Head Cut Off 5K."

SONG CHALLENGE! Part 23 (17–Apr–00)

Love And Spots!! Well, Challenge!rs –– Spring has sprung for most of us, and of course, at this time of year, every species experiences a little flutter of the heart and then, well, instinct takes over... Perhaps inspired by his own 'instincts', our own Hyperabid has suggested the Challenge! topic of "first crushes and the opposite sex moving from pain in the *rse to "Why has God blessed me with a sex drive and acne at the same time!??". An excellent and timely suggestion. So, there you go Challenge!rs –– Songs about 'your first love and/or crush'. Now I know we've all gone through this –– let's see what you can put to a tune!

SONG CHALLENGE! Part 24 (21–Apr–00)

The Great Easter Bunny Brawl. MADISON, Wisconsin (AP) –– When this shopping mall Easter Bunny got hopping mad, she punched out her helper bunny. The scuffle at West Towne Mall began after the girl in the bunny suit removed the head part of her costume and set it down, a police department spokesman said Tuesday. "Her assistant pushed her and she fell over her head," the officer said. "The Easter Bunny then got up and punched (the other bunny) a couple of times." He also stated that it wasn't clear what the two were arguing about. The Easter Bunny and her assistant were arrested after the fracas Monday, but only the helper bunny was booked on charges and released. Since the Easter Bunny is a juvenile, she was released to her parents. However, the company that sent the "battling bunny" to the mall has fired the teen–ager and sent over a replacement.

SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25 (25–Apr–00)

Mummy, Where Did The Funny Little Man In The Garden Go? PARIS –– The dormant Garden Gnome Liberation Front has sprung back to life, stealing about 20 gnomes during a nighttime raid on a Paris exhibition. "We demand ... that garden gnomes are no longer ridiculed and that they be released into their natural habitat," the Front's Paris wing said in a statement following its weekend strike. France's first garden gnome exhibition in the exclusive Bagatelle park on the outskirts of the capital opened last month and has been a hit with the public as chic Parisians develop a taste for kitsch culture. The Garden Gnome Liberation Front vanished from the public eye in 1997 after a northern French court handed its ringleader a suspended prison sentence and fined him for his part in the disappearance of around 150 gnomes. The only suspected sighting of the organization since then was a mass suicide of gnomes at Briey in eastern France in September 1998, when 11 of them were found dangling by their necks under a bridge. A letter found nearby said: "When you read these few words we will no longer be part of your selfish world, where we serve merely as pretty decoration." Now, the sight of 2,000 of the gaudy, colorful creatures dotted around the Bagatelle gardens has clearly proved too big a temptation for the group to avoid. It warned that it would strike again unless the show was closed and all the gnomes released. Organizers told the daily Le Parisien that they had no intention of bowing to the Front's demands.