SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

Thay That Again, You Thwollen Thongue Thevil -- A jury in Tavares, Florida, convicted Leal Fleming, 45, of drunk driving in November, despite his insistence that the reason he slurred his words to a police officer, and couldn't breathe into a breathalyzer, was that he had just been bitten on the tongue by a rat snake and was on his way to a hospital to get treatment for the swelling. Said Fleming after the trial, "After the verdict came in, I had some second thoughts (about not taking an offered plea bargain), but I still think there was a point to our defense."


The Snake in the Glass by McGrath of Harlow
(Tune:  It'd fit to either of the tunes used for the song of my namesake, Master McGrath.)

McGrath's Comments:  I decided to believe the man.


I will tell you a tale of injustice writ large
Put me here in this gaol for being drunk and in charge.
And for all I protest I'm an innocent man,
They tell me I'd best tell the truth while I can.

But it's truth and I swear, and it isn't a lie
If you listen you'll hear, and you'll understand why
I went driving too fast, and I couldn't explain.
'Twas that snake in the glass made my talking too strange.

I went out for a drink with a couple of friends,
And already you'll think that you know how it ends.
I was stood by the bar, that is true sure enough,
but I was driving the car, so the drinking was off.

With me back to a glass that was alcohol free
I stood and discoursed how the world ought to be
and I gave them some tips, then I turned round once more
Raised my glass to my lips - and I fell to the floor.

For some snake it had creeped from the Florida grass
it had taken a sleep in my half empty glass.
And I'll tell you the truth without any disguise,
I was bit by the tooth of that Father of Lies.

I rushed and I staggered without much delay,
With me tongue getting bigger each step of the way
And I drove like the devil to get to the doc
When a policeman pulled level, and forced me to stop.

"I'm going to the doctor" I said very clear.
But me tongue was so slaughtered it came out so queer.
I cried and I cackled and showed my distress,
And they soon had me shackled "resisting arrest".

In the court house I swore I was straight as a judge
But a Florida jury - that didn't mean much.
Then I stuck out my tongue in a desperate attempt -
And in gaol I was flung for some kind of contempt.

So now I've had my say, and I hope you believe,
And when I am set free this cruel country I'll leave -
Back to Ireland I think I will fly there so fast,
Where a man gets a drink, not a snake in his glass.

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