SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Chicken Of The Living Dead? -- Kay Martin, a secretary to a New Zealand MP, got the fright of her life a few weeks ago.   According to the Auckland Sunday Star, she and a friend were chatting over a drink when they heard a chicken squawking.   The bird sounded in some distress, so they went outside to investigate, thinking perhaps that it had escaped from one of the neighbors.  But, there were no chickens anywhere.  Then Martin realized with horror that the sound was coming from her own kitchen - coming, in fact, from the oven, where she had put a chicken in to roast half an hour earlier.   "It was as if it was shrieking at me from its grave," she says.  "It was so bizarre I just froze."  As they approached the oven, the squawking reached a crescendo.  They took the tray out, and as the chicken began to cool, the squawking died away.  Martin chopped the neck off and threw it in the sink.  She noticed that the vocal chords were intact.  "Steam was coming up the neck from the stuffing," says Martin, and this had caused the dead bird to squawk.  She has not cooked chicken since.  P.S. TO ALL CHALLENGE!RS:   If any of you are looking to qualify for the 'Two-Fer' Award (or better), check out SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8, Part 22, and Part 42 on the Song Challenge!s Past page, and see how you can work this Challenge! and one or more of these past hoo-haws into a song . . . It's a Double Dawg Dare, so ya can't turn it down! '-) -- Á.


Skinny Lloyd the Farmer by SharonA
(Tune: "Sweeney Todd the Barber" credited to R.P. Weston)

SharonA's Comments: Hmmm . . . Supposing Kay Martin were in her early 70's (depends on how long New Zealand keeps its secretaries on the payroll) . . . Then she would've been a young, impressionable teenager when Lloyd Olsen of "Song Challenge! - part 22" was touring with Mike the headless rooster . . . What if they'd met? . . . and fallen in love? Find out as we go back, back through the mists of time to hear the tale of Skinny Lloyd the Farmer . . .

In Fruita, Colorado state,
When old FDR was "late"
There lived a man whose fame was great:
'Twas Skinny Lloyd the Farmer.

One visit there and you'd go no more.
You'd see his rooster walk
Then stumble, fall, flop to the floor
And hear its headless neck squawking, singing

"Skinny Lloyd the Farmer, my body he kept alive today."
Skinny Lloyd the Farmer, "I'll lop his head off," he once would say.
His rooster to the block would go
But he had no fear of the farmer's blow.
"Dead hens can talk and a headless cock crow"
Said Skinny Lloyd the Farmer.

Down under, near old Oz, it's true,
Where Lloyd took his rooster to,
There lived a young soprano who
Loved Skinny Lloyd the Farmer.

Kay laid her singing tracks on LP's;
Her hits sold like wildfire,
Chock full of meaty harmonies
For she was getting her choir from mister

Skinny Lloyd the Farmer, by God he could make those chickens play.
Skinny Lloyd the Farmer, "I'll lop their heads off," he once would say
And many a poor prize hen had
Her skull pared only for the fad
Of a beakless voice, 'cause Kay was so mad
For Skinny Lloyd the Farmer.

It was near dinnertime in young Kay Martin's home
And the chickens lay flat in a line
In a range over which they would never roam
And her sweetheart made sure they would whine.

The mikes were set up by the closed oven door
To record ev'ry cackle and wheeze.
Sound equipment was strewn over counter and floor
And the engineer said, "Quiet, please."

Well, in came the rooster with old Skinny Lloyd
Just to listen to Kay's latest cooin'.
Kay was quite overjoyed though his presence annoyed
The technician whose work he might ruin.

Well, the engineer sat with his mouthful of gum
Saying, " 'I'll Squawk Alone' – take 14."
Lovely Kay, by the icebox, was starting to hum
With the chickens beginning to keen

But what rotten luck: as they started to cluck,
Mike the headless cock started to strut
And attempted to crow. Then the sound man, named Chuck,
Yelled out Skinny Lloyd's fav'rite word: "Cut!"

Yes, Chuck ran to the rooster and shouted out, "Cut!
"Get a mike on old Mike right away!"
He recorded the bantam and backup hens, but
He completely forgot about Kay.

But up came our Lloyd to console the poor dear
As she watched her career and her food burn.
"I will never forgive you for bringing Mike here,"
Kay condemned, and Lloyd's true love she would spurn.

And there with the giblets Lloyd hangs in his barn,
And they do say a headless cock's crow
Made a number-one song, but Lloyd can't give a darn
And Mike sang as Lloyd swang to and fro:

"Skinny Lloyd the Farmer, by God you could make those chickens play.
Skinny Lloyd the Farmer, I'll make no songs with you past today."
And old chicks call him from their grave
Clucking, "Hang, but Skinny, be sure to save
Your voice for croonin', 'cause hell's sure to rave
'Bout Skinny Lloyd the Farmer!"

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