SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, But Rita Got Returned To Wal-Mart OMAHA, Nebraska (Reuters) - A Nebraska woman who received an ornate box for Christmas and returned it to Wal-Mart without looking inside discovered later it contained the ashes of her recently deceased sister, a newspaper reported on Friday.  Judy Money received the box as a gift from her brother who lives in Iowa.  But after unwrapping the package on Christmas Eve she saw the box had a broken knob and decided to return it to Wal-Mart without ever looking at the contents inside, the Omaha World-Herald reported.  When Money later confessed to her brother that she had returned his gift, he told her the box contained the ashes of their sister, who had died Dec. 11, the Herald said.  Marvin Tippery, Money's brother, told the Herald he was shocked when he found out she had returned the box.  "No, no, you didn't! Your sister was in there," the Herald quoted him as telling Money.  Money told the Herald she made a mad dash back to Wal-Mart, but the box had already been thrown out with the trash.  Money and her brother finally found the box on Thursday amid trash piles at an area landfill.  "My prayers have been answered," she told the Herald.  "Just the thought of having her in the dump was awful."


The Sister Who Died by Fibula Mattock

(To the tune of Arthur McBride)

I once had a sister, and sadly she died
And when Christmas came round the family all cried
But my brother arrived with a parcel, all-tied
It was on Christmas morning.
But we opened it up and with rage we did stamp
As we gazed on a box with a broken auld clamp
So we wrapped it back up and to Wal-Mart did tramp
To get it exchanged for a new one.

My brother said "Judy, oh what did you do?
You wouldn't have swapped it if only you knew -
Her last resting place was to be here with you
Since she's gone where there is no returning."
Oh I was a fool, though I knew it belated
The box held the ashes of my sister cremated
Oh how could I do this to one so related
And all on Christmas morning?

I went back to Wal-Mart and begged them for word
Of the box with my sister that I had returned
But they told me they'd thrown it away with the dirt
And the bins had been emptied that morning
And so as my penance for being so rash
My brother and I to the landfill did dash
To hunt for the box that contained all the ash
And to sort through the trash in the morning

And as for the box, well we found it at last
But by that stage the best part of Christmas had passed
But we took her back home and we cleaned her up fast
To make sure she "remains" in the family;
But if you are tempted when Christmas comes round
To put your relations six feet underground
Remember to check where the buggers are bound
Or have a hell of time trying to find them.

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